All Comments on 'Infidelity Ch. 01'

This isn't a story, it's a slice of life. The very purpose of fiction is that we can find fulfillment of issues in a story, whereas life often leaves our issues unfulfilled or fulfillment takes a long time to happen. There is no event that opens this as a story. Nothing is put at risk. There is no climactic event that ends it by resolving the issue.

Characters? What characters? "He", "She" they are so featureless you didn't even bother giving them names. "She"

will feel just as undesirable and lonely the next day as she did in all the days before. So will he. Have a cup of tea or unsalted chicken broth. I prefer something a lot spicier.

Of course this is a story, both a story in itself and a slice of a larger story. You have a mystery here. If there is never anything else about these two, that's quite all right. The segment stands by itself quite successfully. If there is more to come, it is impossible to say right now if the characters are actually going to consummate an affair. They may proceed further in some way and still never experience the fulfillment of their fantasies. The characters are complex, normal, and very, very human. Your portrayal of the woman as less than the desirable object of thoughtless desire is a master stroke, for every woman can be the object of someone's desire. Good job!

Vivid imagery - a much different writing style than other fine authors - but it works. You're able to paint this confused possibly deeply depressed young woman in a way that engenders a bit of sympathy. Well done!

Thanks for the offering.

Superbly done!

She, Him, If, It, When you finished it it sounded like "the war of the pronouns" and nobody won or lost.... so who cared?

Second reading, years from the first: fantastic!