All Comments on 'Inkwell Ch. 08'

I agree with those that say you need an editor or anyone to give it a read-through before you post. However, the mistakes are not so terrible that I can't understand the story, which I love and cannot wait to keep reading. So I don't get why people are getting so bent out of shape over grammar.

They are important because they provide a common framework or structure that enables the reader to focus on what the author is trying to say.

It's a bit like driving down a main highway. Your expectation is that the road will be smooth and you will get where you are going fairly easily but if you find it contains multiple potholes and sharp corners, your attention becomes focused on them and the journey becomes much more difficult

If we abandon the rules of grammar and spelling then reading will cease to be enjoyable.

This is a selection of errors from page 1 of chapter 8. I have certainly not found all the errors but these are the most obvious.

Antony and Ducici "coddled" in the armchair like teenagers.

Crossin and Profene sat in the kitchen reading "thou" everything he had in the apartment

I don't want to "louse" myself to abilities

He had been "show" the higher realm

He's gifts hadn't changed him, enhanced his natural talents

(His gifts hadn't changed him, they just enhanced his natural talents)

All of his actions have "shone" his nature.

They saw the fading of the higher realm before even we did.

(They saw the fading of the higher realm even before we did.) or just "before we did"

Until you Estephan, the only way the higher realm would survive would be for the three of us to die

(Until you Estephan, the only way the higher realm could survive would be for the three of us to die)

None of us wish to die "thou"

I understand, as a Fate doing things like this is second nature

(As a Fate, I understand that doing things like this are second nature)

We yield to only to a true guardian

(We yield only to a true guardian)

All the utilities for both properties are being credited "hundreds" for "the keeping" the home

(All the utilities for both properties are being credited hundreds of dollars for keeping the home)

As there are none in the city park across the street none were put in the park when it was founded because the courthouse was right here. ??

(Doesn't make sense)

Anything directly off of the lobby would be commercially zoned."

("Off of" is just a weird American peculiarity)

(Anything directly off the lobby would be commercially zoned.)

well as clients ready to lend to the remodel of the buildings infrastructure

(well as clients ready to lend money to remodel the building's infrastructure)

He walked through the block long three/four story building.

How many "stories" is it 3 or 4

The last developer backed out taking the "lose" because barring a miracle

A reassessment of the selling price and a few "concisions"

He was the "sage" plant he talked to "thou."

He was the same plant he talked to though. ??

The mark of "you" mantle right

All these obvious errors were in the first page!

To have so many mistakes is just sloppy writing.

Correct use of words, sentences, etc... is actually important. I can't say how many times I've had to puzzle out something that was written incorrectly in these chapters. Not mistakes like "hear" and "here" but something that fundamentally changed what I was reading and determining what the author meant was not simple.

Generally speaking, when I see mistakes that a spell check won't find (correct spelling but wrong word) I kind of go "eh" but the enormous number of words in these chapters that wouldn't even pass spell check is stunning.

I'm interested in the story but almost dread wading into a new chapter and frankly is that "really" the feeling you want your readers to have?

Yes there are people who could care less about any of it but it is off-putting to many many others.

For casual authors who do this for their own benefit and don't care about who reads/doesn't read, likes/doesn't like... well ok, regurgitate whatever mess you want. It's your mess after all. For others that write for their readership... get a good word processor if not an editor.

*sighs softly after reading the comments*

First and foremost, to those commenting. Okay, which of you is volunteering to help with editing? Secondly, if the story line is really good (which in my opinion it is), then what is a few minutes of puzzling out a turn of phrase here or there? If you are truly willing to give up on reading a story because of grammar, then how invested are you in the story anyhow? *slight tilt of her head*

To NeoShade:

*warm smile* i continue to enjoy the way your story is going. i am very interested in finding out how Leto fits into all of the troubles and if there is anyone else behind trying to mess Estephan up. And the ending of this chapter?!!!! What's up with that???!!!! *grins* i hope you post the next chapter soon. i hate hanging in such suspense. *grins, chuckling ever so softly* And if you would like, i would be more than willing to pre-read your submissions to assist with some editing. i won't promise that i can catch every grammatical error, but i will help where i can. *smiles* Keep up the wonderful story lines. The imagination that it takes to write a story, let alone a series, is something to be cherished and nourished. You know how to reach me. *grins, winks*

NeoShade you have a wonderful story and have created an imaginative world.

Unfortunately there are a heck of a lot of errors.

So I can not tell you ignore the spelling and grammar Nazis, like I would were it just the odd error.

I world also offer to read through your work before posting.

If you have a couple of people who can proofread one after the other, the second reader should be able to catch the ones or most of the ones the first proof reader missed.

However if your not willing to do this, I for one will continue to struggle and puzzle over your chapters because I think your story is worth the effort!