All Comments on 'Internet Dating'

They 'shout' WAY too much, and too many typos.

You most definitely need an editor. I got just a little over half way through the first page and gave up. The English, spelling and vocabulary errors made the read very onerous.

There appears to be whole sentences left out. You start with one thought and end on another tract entirely. Literotica has many editors that volunteer their time and talent to help beginning writers. I use one myself and I am also one of those editors..

OK, I don't mean to belabor the point. On the positive side the story line has a lot of potential and the set up is intriguing. If you get it fixed I would like to try reading it again.

You have potential so keep at it. With help you will get there.

just give it some more plot and this aint no spelling contest so fuck em

through out the tale/tail. Yes, love still of mother and son; but also a lust between the same. Some spell check errors, but none affected the story. I was rooting for the ending you had; but am looking forward to a progression of sexual release from both. There may also be some unforseen difficulties (my mother had her last child at age 44), Thank you

I don't want to discourage you so take this advice for what it's worth which is exactly what it cost you. You have a good idea for the story. I love the internet dating thing. Maybe it is old hat as some seem to suggest, I wouldn't know. I do know there are no new plots, just retold old ones with our special twist. This story looks like you have fallen into a trap familar to many of us. We finish a story and are in a hurry to submit it so we don't proof read. I've learned to read from the monitor aloud once or twice,correcting as I go then print and read the written copy aloud. You'd be surprised at the number of goofs you'll find on the printed copy. If this doesn't give you an acceptable copy, then I say follow the advice to work with an editor. Of course the editor is never a bad idea, but it seems to me you need to discover some of your problems on your own. You'll learn more than if you just consider another's idea.

Well, if you just consider the story line, this one has some potential. BUT, it reads like a computer translated it from Hindi or something. You REALLY need to take a couple of high school English classes and then a writing class. And then you will STILL need an editor or at the very least someone else to read it and make an honest comment. Don't give up! I think you have good stories inside your head. You just need better tools to get them out and on paper.

Have someone edit this an it will be perfect.

I'm not a writer, I'm a reader & fantasizer. Sentence structure don't matter if I understand what you are saying. I think you said everything clearly enough for me.

I am an incest fan & love the way you handled this story. I'll be looking for more of your work.

Hmmm ...

Sensibly written and very realistic true - no nonsense and naive, childish pipe dream and phantasmangoria.

Very good work

Yes I saw grammar errors but quickly got passed them. I read stories to make me cum and this one did Just that. I gave it 5 stars because it did what it was suppose to do. Not judging a writing contest, but looking to get pleasured by the story. Good job!

Other than that, I enjoyed the mom and son having sex, and perhaps starting a very hot affair.

I was hoping that this is just a start of what is going to come.

Thanks for the read.

All the misspellings and grammar errors make me have to pause and consider what was really meant so this is a major distraction while reading the story.

For example several times you used the following: "Defiantly!". After several pauses to consider I think what you actually meant was "definitely".

3 stars for your effort - could have been 5 if better written.

What more can I say?

I do agree with most of the comments. There are more than, just a few grammatical errors, and I winced as the characters were "shouting" while eating dinner.

I do agree with most of the comments. There are more than, just a few grammatical errors, and I winced as the characters were "shouting" while eating dinner.

grammar, etc. aside, the story was pretty good. i assume she starts getting him hard again with a BJ.

Hope you'll continue the story.

Can't wait to read more chapters. Thank you!

Good story. But man, you really need to learn english. Its like you are trying to compose a story in your 4th language. You can't spell. You need to work on grammer and punctuation also, badly. This is not nit-picking. I really liked the story, but the written errors are so very distracting that much of the joy and eroticism of the tale of the internet dating fiasco is lost in simply trying to read the lines. When I (where I) was in school I would not have been allowed to graduate if I couldn't do a better paper than this. I'd still be held back, and I'm now 54. Obviously I did graduate, hating english grammer and composition classes all the way, and here I am a professor of English Literature thirty years on. Of course, look at my preferred reading material. Not exactly a 'Dickens' novel is it? But seriously, our written word is what we tell our stories with. Our tools, so to speak, no matter what the category of the fictional tale is classified into, so try not to butcher it. Much like Rex Harrison sang in 'My Fair Lady' - "Why can't the English learn to speak"? Well why can't we who speak english learn to write it also? Not just this story, but ALL of your work is equally needing of a good 'red pen' going over. I've been fair, I don't comment on what I haven't read, so I've read everything you've posted. Work,Work,Work!

I lived every moment pf that intetcourse story ii will keep reading wish mine was 8 inches

loved it voted 5 stars ,

ignore the Haters & Flamers .

the Haters , well u pushed their buttons & got them boiled , so all good , nobody is forcing them to read a story they don't like.

the Flamers .. lol FREE storys , fantastic plot & characters , & they want them word perfect / grammatically correct ,

lmao if they expect these storys to all be proof read by a publishing house before the storys get posted.

fucking amazes me

wish they would create an account & attempt to write some stuff

plus login before writing such nonsense comments .

anyhow , really enjoyed this story

not my usual cup of tea / genre

was searching "blind date" tagged .

captivated from start to finish ,

great protagonists ,

would enjoy seeing you take this story forward.

xxxhugsxxx

Your story was good, but I got very distracted with the English errors, which were a lot, and with the lack of punctuation. I don`t expect you to write for a Pulitzer or something, I get that it`s erotica, but I`m sure you`d be much more successful if you tried to write down things correctly. Maybe I`m an annoying bitch for calling attention to it, but I just meant to give you this tip.

strange story , with a great ending

We had written each other passionate sex stories for weeks, and had decided to finally meet for drinks at the bar in the Radisson. I was looking around for someone dressed in a sexy red dress. As I looked around, I was shocked to notice the only person that met that description, was my mother. She was just as surprised to see me as I sat down at her table. She wasn't wearing a bra and her hard nipples shown though her dress invitingly. Uncomfortably, we talked about what we had been doing in chat, what we had been planning to do later that night. After several drinks, we were laughing and talking about our stories we'd written to each other. I couldn't stop staring at my mom's tits, and her hand moved over my large bulge in my slacks. We knew what we wanted, and got a room. Once inside we were kissing like long lost lovers. We sat on the bed and watched each other take off our clothes. We resumed our kissing naked on the bed together. We then started doing what we had written we would do to each others bodies when we were alone together.

BUT . . . . Is it the American education system, or a stupid reliance on spell check, that makes so many of them get the words WRONG.

'Definitely' . . . and . . . 'Defiantly' . . . . are two different words, with two totally different meanings.

American writers regularly put 'dinning room' (presumably where one makes a noise) instead of 'dining room'. Simple shit . . . REALLY.

There are errors, of course there are, but they do not actually detract from the story. I found it to be original and thought provoking.

i liked it. i wish the writer was still posting on this site. cute, sexy story.

Good story. Thanks for sharing it.

Well done, it is too bad it didn't continue. 5/5

Rnjoyed the story. I mentally enjoyed the sexual and emotional epiphany experienced by mother and son. Likewise, I am always amazed that it takes the son so long to realize his mother is also a human woman with the same wants and needs as himself. Unfortunately, in this story, the mother fails to recognize and treat her son as the man he has become. She fears her position as mother will be replaced with some other title. Although written some time ago, I would like to see the author develop this story into a series.