Intimacy

I cut a diagonal path across the road back to my house and noticed the front door was closed. She better not have, I thought. I reached it and pulled frantically at the knob, but it was locked. I could hear the girls laughing even harder at me now, but I ignored them and sprinted around the side of the house. Why did we not have a fence?

The two other doors were locked as well. The laundry door always was, and Alissa was standing at the sliding glass door at the back, proudly.

'Let me in, this isn't funny!' I screamed at her.

She was laughing now as well.

'It looks pretty funny to me!'

I danced around impatiently, but she wasn't opening any doors for me any time soon. Stepping back, I noticed our parents' bedroom window was open. Jackpot. She followed my eyes and must have guessed from my smile what I could see because she turned and bolted for the stairs while I hurriedly climbed the lattice to the side of the sliding door. Great big vines were growing intertwined through the lattice holes, limiting my foot and hand holds and whipping me painfully if I moved in the wrong direction.

I reached the top just as Alissa bounded into the room. She rushed for the window to pull it down, but it was stuck. I scrambled the last few feet across the overhanging roof just as she managed to un-stick it and rip it down. But I was there to stop her. Being far stronger, she couldn't pull it down any further, but I couldn't climb in the window easily with her standing in the way. So I barreled through and knocked her to the ground, landing awkwardly on top of her on the floor. I had her pinned, like so many times before, and I relished the turning back of power. She didn't try to struggle, she just kept laughing.

'You're an asshole,' I said, trying myself not to laugh.

I didn't take any notice how I was positioned on her, but maybe I should have. Instead of hovering over her on my hands and knees like usual in this body-lock position, I was lying right on top of her. Her tits were mashed into my chest, and I could subconsciously feel her smooth figure through her clothes onto my naked skin. Her tightly covered thighs felt delicious on my legs, and her faint but powerful perfume reminded me of so many girls I had crushes on in high school. Without knowing, I had become semi-hard.

Alissa did notice. When I finally adjusted myself into the normal hovering position, her eyes traced right down to my crotch, and mine followed. My heart sank again and I let go of her arms, rushing up and out of the room. Her face, though, was burned into my eyes. It wasn't disgust, and it wasn't shock. Almost like a mild surprise, decorated with that half smile I was beginning to really dislike.

*

I locked myself in my room the rest of the night and over the next few days avoided seeing or talking to Alissa. She loved the situation, and any time I bumped into her in the kitchen or hallway she grinned her mischievous smile at me. I was really starting to hate that smile.

She had even started to leave notes. Getting home from the gym that I had finally been motivated enough to go to, I found a little folded piece of unicorn stationery sitting on top of my books.

Does that happen when you spy on me as well?

I looked around, somehow expecting her to be there. But this was very strange. I'd stopped expecting a ruthless attack on how much of a pervert I am, but this could almost constitute flirting. It had been a couple of days since the incident as well, so she must have had to muster the courage to do this. Or she only just thought it would be another good way to mess with my head. Either way, since I severely lacked the courage to reply, I put it in my drawer and forgot about it.

The next morning she was more aggressive about things. I was eating my toast while reading the sports section, quite peacefully, when another piece of unicorn stationery was shoved into my view right on the article I was reading. I looked at her quickly but she had gone back to playing around with her cell phone. So I unfolded the paper, giving a quick glance around to make sure dad was still glued to the morning news and mom was still upstairs.

It wasn't all that unimpressive. But I've seen bigger.

My mind caught on the words for a second. So she thought it was alright? What the hell was she doing, anyway? All along I didn't want to think she was flirting, but I couldn't dismiss it now. Years of taunting had taught me I also shouldn't discount the fact that she could just be messing with me for a bit of fun.

I didn't know how to react to the note itself. If it was indeed flirtatious, I'd never been at all good at reciprocating that to other girls. I just didn't really know what to do. The fact that it was my sister made it especially difficult because, firstly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be doing that. In the back of my mind I felt a little bit of excitement at the situation, but the front of my mind was screaming at how disgusting incest is. And secondly, would I have to flirt with my sister differently than I would with other girls? Almost definitely.

Of course the fact that she has always been a mean and horrible person to me all these years hadn't escaped my mind. If she was indeed staying true to her character and this was just a cruel mind game, I couldn't call her on it and risk her throwing those two incidents back at my face. Sitting there with my mouth open was probably the worst thing to do. After a few seconds Alissa looked up from her cell phone and shot me a naughty smirk. Probably not messing with me, then. Still, I stood up and walked as fast as I could without seeming strange out of there and up to my room. I didn't dare look at her while doing so.

I closed the door and leaned on it for a second, allowing my mind to slow down and think properly. My rational mind told me to think up a way to smooth the situation out and return things back to normal. I couldn't cope with the mind games, cruel or not. Pissing her off bad enough to force her to abuse me with the incidents seemed like the only way to break it all down, but there was a big risk of having either mom or dad find out. Tuesday night would be best, just after the parents had left so I could allow Alissa enough time to cool down after our argument so that she wasn't running to them as soon as they walked back in the door. Tuesday it would have to be.

But her naked body kept interrupting my train of thought. The swaying of her tits as she dried her hair still mesmerized me just thinking about it, and my fingertips started to sweat at the thought of running them over her soft, bronze skin, tracing patterns in her freckles.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I really needed to get laid. Having to think about your sister's body is probably as good a sign as any that your cock is long overdue for some pussy. But since I lacked a girlfriend, my laptop had to be my date.

I locked the door and moved over to the desk. A tent had well and truly been pitched in my boxers, and I didn't want to risk not jacking it away and keep drifting back to thinking about Alissa's body all day. It wouldn't be good for my sanity. I opened the laptop lid with a smile, thinking about some of the lesbian porno I downloaded the other day and still hadn't had the chance to-

'Holy shit!' I said aloud before I realized what I was doing.

So used to seeing the stylized Mustang picture, I wasn't prepared for Alissa's image to come up, much less a naked one. It was obviously one she had taken herself, in that Myspace style where you hold the camera up with one hand and it catches only really your face and a bit of your chest. She was a master at it, judging by the frequency those types popped up on her own Myspace.

I looked guiltily over at the door, completely forgetting I'd locked it ten seconds before, and back to the screen. Her lips were smacked together in a kiss and her eyes closed. Her free hand cupped her opposite tit, partially obscuring the other, but making the one she held even perkier than it would normally sit. She was sitting at her desk, the only light being her lamp, the effect casting a shadow on the far side of her body, but it didn't hide anything.

I didn't understand when she'd had time to do it. I was on my laptop until late the night before and had gone to bed straight after using it. And I know I woke up before her because I heard her snoring as I walked past for breakfast. The middle of the night - while I slept just a few feet away - was the only possibility. I felt violated, but really excited at the same time. My sister was uploading porn - of herself! - onto my computer.

I had been looking at it too long, I figured. I couldn't keep it and still realistically plan on shutting her down and stopping everything, could I? Right then all I wanted to do was relieve myself, so I bypassed the incredibly erotic picture of my own sister and started the many clicks it took to get to my porn folder. I was proud of how well I managed to hide it, as sad as being proud of something like that is. Deep inside the hidden system folders with a thousand computer-sounding-gibberish folders and files to get lost in if anyone dared to go looking for my stash.

Obviously Alissa had, because upon reaching the folder I found it empty. Over 12 gigabytes of pornography, years worth of surfing, gone, replaced by a single .txt file. It was named Alissa.

Really not stuff you should be looking at, big brother.

She hadn't once called me that in our entire lives. Was the excitement of the situation getting to her? Did incest somehow turn her on?

I leaned back and cupped the back of my head in my hands. This was just another little mind game to go insane over for the next few days. My boner still remained, however, and without some porno to help me along, or the desire to get more this early in the morning, I was left with only one option.

I clicked back to the desktop and sighed. Alissa's tits stared back at me. If I did this, I would be crossing a line I might not be able to un-cross. But I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about my now-painful boner and making it go away. I reached for the lotion and tissues, gave one last sigh, and got to work.

It took me about 30 seconds. Imagery wasn't hard, and mental stimulation was plentiful on top of the visual. When I started spewing cum into the tissues it was one of the rare times I'd had to stifle a moan in all the years of pleasuring myself. In fact, the orgasm rated up there with the best of them, even the time I'd gone a month in a resolution to get laid and not jerk off. The feeling consumed my entire body, like a wash of pleasure that tingled along all my nerve endings at once.

But just as soon as it subsided, a new wash, this time of guilt, came over me. I looked at Alissa's picture once more, quivering and softening cock still in my right hand, and decided. No more. I deleted the picture, emptied the recycle bin, and circled the next Tuesday in bright red Sharpie on my calendar.

*

Tuesday came, without any more developments from Alissa. She was a busy girl, I had finally discovered after only just starting to take notice. She was gone most nights of the week doing something, sometimes back for dinner, but rarely. I became quite familiar with her schedule, not out of any desire to see her or spy on her or anything: so that I could avoid her. I had enough trouble not thinking about her running her hands seductively down her naked front. I caught myself going hard in too many embarrassing places.

I didn't leave my room when I heard Alissa arrive home from school. I stayed in there until I heard my parents' car start up and drive off. But I still didn't really know what to say to Alissa, whether I could even piss her off enough or at all.

I was lying on my bed throwing a tennis ball up and down when I heard the pipes in the wall groan and come to life. Water rushed through them noisily, and I could make out the splashing sound of water on tile through the wall. She was in the shower.

My heart started beating faster. I had to seriously fight the temptation to rush to the key-hole and perv on her. After deleting her naked picture from my computer I had been walking around with an urge to see it again, cursing my choice to delete it. I couldn't help it. I had even checked her camera to see if it was still on the memory card. It wasn't.

My self-discipline crumbled. Being as quiet, but as quick, as I could I went to the bathroom door and knelt in position. There she was. The shower cubicle was in the perfect viewing position from the key-hole, with clear glass to boot. She was slightly obscured from the steam fogging up the glass, but not enough to hide any of her best features.

I think she looked better wet. Her skin looked even softer when it was glistening with moisture, and I loved the way the streams of water clung to her curves as it rushed down her body and into the drain. Her hair being wet meant it was out of her face, displaying the perfect proportions even prouder than ever.

My hand went for my pants. I wasn't going to miss the opportunity, and my inhibitions over feeling this way for my sister had a funny way of disappearing in the heat of the moment. But, as if on cue, Alissa reached for the shower head an unhooked it from its clasp. Bringing the head down her body, the flexible pipe wrapped around her figure the way I so wanted to do with my hands. She finally laid the head in her crotch, and her face exploded with pleasure. Her head shot back, mouth opened wide, and she let out a loud moan.

She knew I was watching. There's no way she would be that loud in such a discrete act of masturbation, I thought, knowing from experience. I might have cared if I wasn't so close to cumming. But if she knew, there wasn't much I could do now.

Her free hand went up to cup a tit, almost like in the picture. She caressed it slowly, making her small areole a point of emphasis when she tweaked the nipple. Her moans kept getting louder until her hand shot from her tit and slapped the wall. I guess she was cumming.

It pushed me over the edge, too. I could feel myself reaching that point of no return where there was nothing I could do to stop from cumming. Not wanting to be caught with cum over myself or my clothes, I rushed back into my room and clutched at a tissue. I didn't care that the floor creaked deafeningly as I moved.

*

I expected her to come in after her shower and amp up the dare from last time. Maybe she might even come to initiate something? But she didn't. I was sort of thankful for that, because I felt a great deal guiltier after that than the first time I jerked off to her.

She kept up the routine of not specifically mentioning anything to my face; in fact she had even returned to baiting me. It wasn't as malicious as it had always been; more playful, if only slightly. I began to be more comfortable around her, but I was now stern in the knowledge that I didn't want to have anything to do with her sexually. Until the next incident.

It was the Friday night after the most recent shower incident. All four of us were at the video store choosing a movie to rent.

'Just someone choose one,' dad said impatiently from a corner. He rarely factored into the choosing, instead wanting to just veto any choice of ours until one he liked came along.

'How about this one?' Alissa said.

She was teasing me. Her tee-shirt was at least a size too small, with a graphic on the front that only attracted the eye to the money region before you noticed how luscious her tits are. Her skirt was also a little skimpy for that night. The weather was clinging to cold before the inevitable warm shift, and that night was chillier than normal.

'What is it?' mom said without looking up from the one she was inspecting.

'Um... it's called Tomcats.'

I looked up sharply. I knew what it was, and I was sure mom and dad didn't.

'It's not a cartoon is it?' dad asked suspiciously.

'No. I've heard about it and apparently it's not bad.'

She held up the cover, but instead of the image of a girl's lower half in boxer shorts that would have instantly betrayed it for the risqué movie it was, it was a generic cover some employee had written 'Tomcats' on in pen.

'That sounds alright I guess,' mom said.

Alissa flashed me a quick grin. She was up to something.

It wasn't long before our parents discovered that wasn't such a good choice.

'I don't think I can watch this with my children,' mom declared only 10 minutes in, and went to the kitchen table to do crosswords.

Dad also fell asleep fairly quickly, leaving only Alissa and I to watch a movie I really wasn't comfortable watching with her. Her intentions were definitely made clear at the start by sitting next to me on the second couch instead of the many other seats. She never did that.

She was quiet most of the way through, though, and still. At one point well into the movie I found myself in the inevitable situation of going hard. It was bound to happen with this kind of movie, but I was focused on not making it obvious.

That failed pretty badly, because thinking about it made my cock go fully hard and produce a characteristic bump in my pants. I shifted my left leg up a bit to hide it in the folds of material, but Alissa had already noticed. She was watching me out of the corner of her eye.

Suddenly her hand snapped out and went straight for my crotch. I sat still, horrified, hoping mom didn't look through the gap between rooms and see us. Alissa obviously didn't care, because she grabbed my cock as best she could through the fabric and started lightly massaging it. She had experience.

'What are you doing?' I hissed quietly at her.

She just looked at me with a smirk and continued. I didn't stop her. I wanted to, but there's something about a guy's make-up that makes us incapable of stopping sexual advancement.

It was the first time I'd ever had another person's hand on my cock. That thought alone excited me, but Alissa's experienced hand did things that felt infinitely better than my own ever had. She knew just the right amount of pressure to apply to the head of the cock, even through two layers of clothes, and her circular motion felt good from the moment she started.

I could feel that point of no return coming again, and I couldn't believe how quick it had been brought on. I prayed to last just a little longer because this felt way too good, despite who was doing it.

My hips bucked upwards and I let out a muffled sound of pleasure. Alissa's hand stopped and moved away, and I could already see a damp patch developing where it had been. She looked over at me with eyebrows furrowed as if to say 'already?' I was breathing heavily but didn't say anything. Mom was still within earshot, and I was thankful she hadn't reacted to the sound I'd already let out. I wasn't going to risk her walking in and seeing what was going on.

I stood up and left the room to clean up. When I got back Alissa was on the floor and didn't even turn and acknowledge me. The mind games continued.

*

Once again Alissa never commented on what had gone on, and I was way too embarrassed to initiate a conversation about it. It felt out of my control, like only she could make any moves, and I couldn't stand that.

It got down to intimacy, I'd decided. We had never had any of it between us. And that didn't just mean hugs and physical contact, but no emotional closeness or even just pleasantness. I think that's what made it so awkward to think about her like that, the fact that this was new and uncomfortable territory that my mind couldn't get over. The reservations I had about it on the basis that it was 'disgusting incest' were really only lies my subconscious had formed to shy away from the fact that I wasn't used to any kind of closeness to my sister. In the past I'd refused to even use her nickname, Lis, because it sounded too intimate and chummy.