All Comments on 'Intruder Ch. 04'

I can not get enough of this story...please continue...even the logic is suitable to the characters...just wonderfully done... greatly developed...continue, continue, continue!

Your characters are consistent. You do well balancing her conflicted feelings. I hope she continues to feel some conflict and/or at least acknowledge the problems with feeling positively toward him. I am eaten up with curiosity about that Internet work he was doing.

Love this story. So incredibly hot!

So this story is completely enthralling.

I love how she refers to him (in her mind) as her rapist; it juxtaposes nicely with her feelings and the more romantic/emotional conversations they're beginning to have.

I don't think I've read anything before that has made me feel so much for the characters. It's all there - lust, love, passion. Seriously, this story is excellent.

Also, I know it isn't exactly as you've described him, but I imagine 'James' as Benedict Cumberbatch, and then I practically jizz everywhere.

For your first story/ series this is wicked! Keep up the good work well done

Your stories are incredibly well thought out and cohesive. I liked that you touched upon the acknowledgment of Stockholm syndrome and for Leah also identifying that he is a rapist. Would love to see more of 'James' character background being shed to light in his point of view. For some reason, Henry Cavill kept popping up in my mind when you were describing his appearance (well that man is perfection haha).

It's certainly an interesting dynamic between the two characters especially their banters about "nice guys". I would love to see a third character added in like a new doctor at her hospital being the definition of good guy and could potentially be Leah's new love interest. That could create throwing James' plans off when he checks up on her. Or the women he's been with prior can be spotlighted?

Keep up with your writing, it's definitely great to see a gem like this in the noncon section!

Well you've had interesting development so far I must admit. I do think an explanation of why he chose her would be appropriate....I mean the way you portrayed him is a spy, yet what did the girl do to even get on his radar? The only criticism i have so far is the descriptions of the man, 'plum sized balls?', and i think you simultaneously described his dick as 7 inches long, and hung like a horse?..... I dunno if you've ever seen a horses dick but its definitely not just 7 inches.

Will he feel anything for her? And yea! Maybe you can explain how he chooses his victims. XD it's a great story overall though. Update again soon!

I do hope that you'll be able to update soon, I would like to see how their story would progress

Please write another chapter

I want more please!!!

Don't leave us hanging.

Awesome idea, never thought of rape like that, but undeniably true. I need more!!!!

OMG! What happens next.....? He obviously has shown some kind of attatchment to her with his promise to return.... Please write another chapter soon. Im alteady on pins and needles! Great writing!

make more!!!!!

Love your stories, please continue. Your MC are flawed in such a delicious way. Don't leave me hanging!

I don't like how he shares affections when he is an all around rapist and she's just one girl. It gets repetitive while her character grows more needy. Either be a 'they get together' story or not.

would have preferred if she had shown more resistance instead of giving in pretty much right from the beginning.

I just hope in the end he will be with her but until then I'm loving all of this... keep it up and thank you!!!!!

Will you tell of his next girl?

The story is hot and intense but what I dislike is this guy's disgusting logic. Seriously, he doesn't believe in fidelity and sees women as some sort of a breeding ground or something similar to a child factory. I seriously wouldn't like a guy with such twisted mind no matter how handsome or hot he is and he is nowhere half the man of those beta's who know the meaning of responsibility. But don't get me wrong, I don't dislike your story as a whole. I actually like it, just not the man's logic.

Anyways, keep on writing and I'll continue reading the rest of the series.

I love the way you write! The words you use...it's very different. Hot though!

I just think the rapist needs to be a little more in control, and should see that his victim is becoming attached and that he needs to make her...not so attached. He is a monster, and just because he is good at sex doesn't mean she should fall for him so easily. He needs to be a little harder to get, harder to read, a little meaner, since he is a rapist, and she needs to stop being so easy... it's still really good though just my opinion!

I lost interest when the dude started spouting alpha/beta bullshit. Don't give that evolutionary advantage crap. You just want to avoid raising a kid.

Thought it was really hot, especially the male dialogue. Women as sex objects is my fetish, thank you for writing it.

Do you know how voraciously a woman's sexual appetite can just keep growing as her belly grows? Do you know how wickedly thrilling it is to push into a swollen womb, 5, 6, 7 ,8 months along? 7and 8 months is still good for legs over the shoulders and missionary but is getting harder to do at 8. Still one can rub the baby bump while stroking the mama's insides and looking into her face filled with lust. Doggy is perfected in 8 and in 9, is preferred along with anal, and oh yea, oral is never amiss. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 8, 9 months pregnant big belly sex is great, from both willing participants.

I love this whole story, in 10 weeks pregnant and i love how detailed it is helps me picture myself in the story Xp

Stimulating riveting intense and completely indulging I am hooked cant wait to find out what happens next you should really write a book i know i would be first in line to buy it 50 shades of grey but better

Delicious!

oh my my!! you gotta read the rape glorification by the rapist and his victim!! ;) and she is pregnant with his child...there we go again!! ;) and knowing the preg news the rapist is slinking away!! ;) and she knows nothing about his real name,address etc!! ;))

oh yeah...and next chapters in the pipeline too i guess!! ;))

The stories already finished but I have to leave a comment about what you said earlier about this not being emotionally hurtful because it so he is hurting her that way at the very least

As erotic fantasy it's hot especially the bdsm dominance dynamic. In reality if it were me I'd have been submissive on the surface while scheming, plotting and planning his take down! Something spectacular that would permanently impact the rest of his life just as he had mine. I'm thing castration or disfigurement leaving him with a 2 inch dick. Ultimately he should end up with time in jail where he's bound to be the recipient of rape himself! I'm sure if she started the ball rolling a lot of other raped, impregnated and abandoned mommies would come forward to ensure a nice long jail sentence. Perhaps even life depending on the victim count. Ha ha ha...

The one thing that I wish there was some of- some sort of spanking, or cropping. He keeps saying how she needs to be punished, but she just gets pleasured. I mean, sex isn’t punishment.

These stories, especially this one definitely made me wet. I love how he is so demanding, and aggressive. The way he takes control, knowing how strong he is, and what he is capable of. But yeah he's still gentle with her, making sure he doesn't hurt her. I want an attentive man just like this, to take me and Every Witch Way. Hold me down, and do me hard and fast. Pounding me for hours, just thinking about it turns me on. And if that makes me sick, then so be it LOL

While those of us with a forced sex kink find him hot...that is only in a fantasy context. In reality there's not a woman alive that wouldn't want him strung up by his balls! I love the anonymous comment about disfiguring him with a 2in dick and jailing him to experience his very own rape! That would certainly clip his self entitled Alpha image! It aught to knock him right down into omega territory. Now there's some karma for ya.

The reason I can enjoy the rape fantasy is because in actuality it's myself in control or at least the person I consent to being given the control. That is only my husband whom I trust and know to have love and care for me even when carrying out his own dominance fantasy. The reason I'm having such a hard time with the storyline is that not only has "James" taken away her choice to whom she would have given her virginity to, but also the choice of parent for her child all while having a complete emotional detachment to her. Everything he's done isn't because he wants her for her but only for her ability conceive and deliver a child he doesn't care for enough to help raise. He acts as if he has some kind of superior intellect when in reality he's just sick nut job.

Very good

Interesting Story.

For my Taste a Little to much Focus on Sex.

Could have more other.

What Else are they Doing the whole time, other than fucking?

It’s so contrived