All Comments on 'It's Only Fair Ch. 07'

I won't say anything else coz I don't feel Im qualified to comment on a masterful piece like this

I do really like this story, it is one of the most realistic ones here on this site handling a very hard problem. Thanks!

One of my favorite parts of your chapters is at the beginning when you do the "This is as close to reality as I could get and still tell the story" I look forward to it every time. Severely disappointed man.

I am always in the BTB side but this time the guy is a wimp whiner . She had a disorder instead of getting it treated and going on he dumped her. So next time his daughter inherits this he will dump her too or his second wife had cancer will he dump her. Sorry when the going got tough he bailed. And he is a felon too so how is he a better dad . A loser felon some great dad . Sorry but the guy is a loser the pity over rated the self pity disgusting. He needs to man up for a change.

Did you actually bother reading the entire 7 chapters, or did you just quickly scan over them?

He took how much betrayal and abuse, and what else is he supposed to do, set himself up for more of the same?

Tell you what, dumb ass. You get some real life experience, and stop reading all the happily ever after shit, k?

It'll do you good.

Oh, and one more thing. Quit being such a judgmental fuckhead.

That'll do you good as well.

I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.

Sorry, but I am left with an emptiness and am void of any empathy for the characters. it must be like Elle feels on her meds.

and, there had to be a better way to deal with stan.

My husbands first wife was bi-polar, what the UK called "manic depressive" until they took our words. He has described her living life on autopilot under the smothering blanket that is Lithium. It turns a human being into a zombie, no manic episodes, but no ups or downs either. Just... Autopilot. He described the manic episodes where there was one that stood out, he heard a sound that he likened to all your kitchen closets and cupboards coming off the wall and dropping everything on the floor. What he found when he got downstairs was 15 seconds of devastation. She was curled up in a corner of the kitchen which was covered in shards of everything breakable, because when she was washing a coffee mug the handle of the mug snapped off.

She wouldn't seek treatment, he had to protect himself. And before anyone calls someone like that a whiner, loser or dumper, you have NO IDEA what it's like living with someone who refuses to seek help. He went to classes on bipolarism, on triggers, on counselling, he tried everything but she wouldn't admit to the problem or acknowledge it. You try and try and try and eventually have to protect yourself. He's a 225lbs rugby player and the idea of raising a hand to a woman in other than defence of his own life or kinky consensual BDSM is anathema to him. He had a fair few black eyes too.

A harrowing tale but one with a happy ending as Team Amber came through the tunnel.

Outstanding! 5 stars.

Five stars for the overall work. I can't fault the guy for going for the divorce. However, in comparison to the rest of the story, this seemed stunted in its development. Leaving the marriage with Elle is a zombie like state left a lot unsaid and unresolved. Thus, this chapter leaves me unsatisfied. Her character disappeared from the story early on, and it was like she never returned. He never truly had a confrontation with his wife - just the shell of her. But in the end, I think you are gifted and I will definitely keep an eye out for your next story.

The story was great; but Rick became worse than Elle, the woman he fucked over.

First: she was mentally unwell and last I heard, wedding vows included "in sick was and in health." I wouldn't care except he seemed to out a LOT of stock in wedding vows. Well, hers anyway.

Second: while married, he had sex with another woman. Again, it sold t be a big de except he's a hypocrite considering he ran over and struck a man with MIL's car and left him lying in a ditch unconcerned if he killed him even though he never a risky had sex with Rick's wife.

Third: he hit a man. With a car. And the man could have died and he didn't care. He could have been caught. He could have gone to jail and lost Amber to the CPS and we're supposed to feel for this cocksucker? This adulterer? This violent, evil man? After all, Elle is mentally unwell and Rick is supposed to be this paragon of virtue, he's never made any mistakes in his marriage. And while in his right mind, he fucking runs over a man WHO DIDN'T HAVE SEX with Elle.

Fourth and final: the difference between Elle and Rick is that she was sorry for her actions and he never was. He never showed any remorse. He used Kerri, he used his mother, he used his situation to his advantage and if you hadn't painted us a picture of her actions, I could see Rick making it all up and hurting himself simply to get everything he anted. Why? Because anyone that can fuck a girl in his MiL's car and be willing to commit murder is a man capable of anything.

At least Elle is bi-polar and there is medication for that. There's no fixing evil.

While I enjoyed the story as a whole, I thought him hitting down the moron neighbor was too much. Near as I can understand, the neighbor volunteered to play submissive in non-sexual play--hardly a crime worthy of crippling someone over. He had every right to be annoyed, but... Jesus,

And what if he'd been caught (a human body leaves behind much more damage than a shopping cart)? What happens to his daughter?

nothing was said that the bondage was not sexual, just no intercourse. Did wifey allowed the neighbor to play with her naked and she with him?

Dont stop writting just because of a couple of negative comments after all what some people like, others despise you can't please every body. So when you get to your final draft of your latest idea make sure that "you" are satisfied. Keep up the good work.

Grim, just like it really is. Most of the people that I have met who divorced have had this same experience. Cheating only makes it seedier.

Not the usual type of story for the site, but I absolutely loved it. Intense, gripping, emotional...the varied responses from your readers should tell you, you accomplished your goal of writing something worth reading. If the story had been mediocre, no one would care about the characters or their actions/inactions. I look forward to reading more from you.

You have a lot of talent. This is a dark story with no winners. Rick had no choice but to divorce Elle to protect his daughter. Although you told the story from Rick's perspective, you didn't make him a hero. He went from the nice, easy going guy in the first chapters to a cold dickhead in the end. The hit and run with the MIL's car was gratuitous. If someone had got the tag he would have lost everything. Stan was a loser. At that point he should not have cared what happened to him. Elle and Stan made a pathetic couple.

This was a compelling story. I would be interested in reading how you would develop it as Rick raises Amber. Why didn't his mother move in with him and drop the day care? How will Amber turn out? How will Amber and Elle interact? Will Elle stay on her meds? Will Rick change back to the nice guy and get a life?

Thank you for your work. I look forward to more from you. You are a very talented writer. 5 stars.

Reasonable man

Hooray it posted!

There was a final thought (someone mentioned it below) I wanted to add but didn't as it was after midnight when I finally hit submit. Rick is the narrator, but in the real world - there aren't many altruistic heroes.

He's a nice guy, the everyman that does his job, loves his wife, takes care of his house, adores his kid, and helps out his family and neighbors. The boy-scout, so to speak. But he's also a bit alone with few people in his life that he can count on.

And when two of the closest ones betray him coldly and with forethought, what is he supposed to do? Keep on taking it? How can anyone keep on taking it and bend and fold and compromise and just be a welcome mat before they either: Fold completely in half or Break?

Rick didn't want to do either, he wanted only to keep his daughter and be happy. But at this happiness is no longer an option and all he has is the mounting pressures weighed on him. Almost 2 years of constant mental and emotional battery that culminated in violence were the cornerstone of his framework for this time in his life - and he fought back as best he could while still keeping as much of his honor as possible.

He's not a hero, except as being the lone defender of his daughter.

What he is, is a survivor. And survivors don't have to worry about the moral compass when the have to survive.

He still loved his wife and always will. But he cannot remain with her - not if he's going to be a father.

And that's the crux of it - he's a father first.

Looking forward to reading everyone's comments as they come across and thank to everyone. This has been truly wonderful.

-V

Like you had mentioned in your introductory comments, this is a fantasy, but also very close to the way real life seems to work out. I have trouble with the crippling of the neighbor. I didn't like Stan for taking advantage of friendships, there has to be some middle ground to come to terms with the anguish and pain from the betrayal.

Did Rick ever get some of his own issues ironed out and put to rest, as in psychological balancing or a way to drain off and deal with the anger and frustration in a healthy constructive way?

The story felt incomplete in the sense that he still had a hole left in his life and no goals to be working toward. His daughter's day care teacher, even though young, could have helped to balance and widen out his narrow existence. Just a few thoughts from this angle.

Over all the story is good and kept its focus. Thanks for allowing us to share.

Real life is not fair!

Lots of bumps and sorrow! Two people have to work at a relationship for it to work.

Good story maybe a bit close to the bone.

We'll written and showed there are no winners when someone develops bi-polar issues. I hope to read a story how their life continues and if Rick ever remarries or can get past this to be happy in life again, and if mother and daughter become close or if Ellie relapses or finds love in the future. thank you for your story.

She doesnt really have a future. If she is lucky she can do at home computer work still, maybe.

With this disability, even on meds, she may not be able to do much.

It is doubtful she will have another relationship.

I can see where the husband was coming from, but again, the majority of what he experienced was due to her illness.

There is that whole in sickness and in health thing.

I am surprised her lawyer didnt delay a divorce or mandate marriage therapy given her disability.

Is his life any better now without her, even as degraded as she is on meds?

No fireworks, that's probably for the best. It would have easy to pair up Kerri with Rick. Too easy. Wise choice by author to let him pick up the pieces alone. I'm wishing the guy finds ' someone ' after a few years to try to leaven the grimness. Rick deserved some kind of break . Maybe a new woman or job promotion.

I didn't like the hit and rum part. Very sordid. In a way, Stan was as isolated and sick as Ellie. Rick won't hit a woman but he will whack an old guy from behind. Not exactly John Wayne. But it's a (un) brave new world. Fantastic for first time out, no doubt. This author created some very memorable scenes and moments. Hard work was evident in every installment, though some were more polished then others.

I thank the author and look forward to his next story.

Very compelling but did Rick treat Elle fairly? She was sick and would permanently need treatment, maybe he should have stuck it out with her. OK, he had to separate from her to allow their daughter to develop. What he had to do seemed to lack compassion towards a sick woman and the mother of his child. It was dubious whether he should have run down Stan even though he would have liked to kill him.

It is hard for me to express how much I thoroughly enjoyed this LW story and how impressed I am with the talents of this particular writer. There are so many good thing to say about the story I am not sure I will be able to get them all.

FIRST about the comments . Many of the regular readers and people who post in the feedback section often complain about anonymous posters who primarily are in the extreme BTB crowd. Yet so far most of the anonymous posters are actually complaining about RICK and that he is evil !!! Kind of odd.

SECOND ... at no point in the whole story did anybody say or except the excuse " its Just male Pride". And actually this is a rather a key point . As I stated before in some other recent stories ....the primary reason why authors bring out the " male pride" thing is that they want to bring about a reconciliation at all costs . And in order to do that the author does not want any one to spend time thinking about the implications of WHY the wife cheated or behave the way she did.

But in this story we don't see any of that. What we see here is a ordinary good and decent man who is not only physically battered by his wife at one point but is also under tremendous pressure from all sides trying to keep his life together. In this story the entire focus is exactly about what the wife's overwhelming massive deceitful betrayal actually MEANS .

This is why Rick feels like he is such a loser. He knows all about the wife's serious mental condition but it doesn't change the way he perceives himself .

There are number of really great lines in the story. TEAM AMBER .

The blow job seen in the car at the baseball grounds is extremely well done... and his reaction to finding out from the STANS brother that he was hit by a car and seriously injured that stand was hit by a car... is also a priceless

"Wow." Keep cool, Rick. No smiles, think of nuns, dead kittens, head lice. Don't smile.

Personally I happen to think that having Rick hit Stan with this mother's car is an extremely risky action. Perhaps there were security cameras around.... and if he is caught he loses custody of Amber. so Much for team Amber .

But if one looks the story the as a character study then the action of having Rick hit Stan with a car goes a long way in showing how disturbed Rick has become by the chain of events -- none of which he caused or are his fault.

In this regard the author does a spectacular job of showing how this much pressures on ANYONE for this amount pressure for this long period of time is going to affect and change a person and a significant way.

This is a really really well done story.

Truly wonderful story. Got a little off track with the exacting revenge on Stan (just my opinion), but it was very close to real. Keep up the great work. It pulled me in, every chapter. You're Favorited..

Not BtB, not kissy poo, just real life emotions...heck of a story!

Yes, it's fair.

She may be sick, but that doesn't excuse not sharing her desires with her husband.

And while she may be under control with the meds, that brings up two other problems :

1) MAYBE they can be adjusted, but right now with the meds she's just not the person he was in love with.

2) What guarantee does he have that she won't go off the meds, or that they will keep working?

This was a great story very well written and kept me wanting the next chapter. Keep up the good work. I always enjoy reading new stories. I loved that the husband got to get even with his neighbor!!!!!5

Ok, I've read the comments, and I can't believe that some people are using Wifey's mental illness as an excuse! Bipolar depression does NOT excuse what she did. It does NOT excuse her threatening and getting physically violent with Hubby, who she claims to love, and it does NOT excuse her cheating. It also does NOT excuse neglecting her own daughter, for God's sake! If she hadn't been forced into treatment, she could have and possibly would have hurt both her husband and daughter even worse. The "in sickness and in health" part doesn't enter into it when she won't even admit that she has a problem. He asked her to go to a doctor, and she blew up at him. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. The fact that she tried to blame him during her therapy sessions just shows that she refused to take responsibility for her actions.

Next, we come to the Adultery. Debate the intricacies of "no penetration infidelity" all you want, but Bill Clinton's definition of sexual relations doesn't hold up here. She cheated. Period. She had multiple online emotional affairs, and then the physical affair with Asshole Stan the Shit Eater, even if he never got to fuck her.

Hubby only had one recourse for Wifey's actions and attitude. Divorce her and protect his daughter. As a new father, I can relate to wanting to do anything and everything to protect my daughter. I thank God every day that my wife isn't bipolar.

The CPS and court dealings are way closer to real life than what is usually seen in the tales on here. Excellent work with the gears of the legal machine. This was a very emotional tale that smacks of something that could happen in real life.

I think the revenge against Asshole was well done, too. Nothing to trace back to him, and Asshole is left with a lifelong reminder to NEVER screw with another man's wife. He might not even realize that Hubby did it to him, but sometimes Karma, bitch that she is, needs a helping hand.

5 Solid Stars. Definitely looking forward to your next tale!

Glad to read that this author is planning to write more. I made each of the last three chapters "favorite stories."

So why do you fell the need to start and end your story with excuses and explanation for what you are doing? Forget the fore- and afterword and let your work speak for itself.

I found that I lost all respect for Rick with this chapter. I also thought that you broke your true to life claim. You have the pencil pusher chased by a bunch of hot day care workers. This was obvious from the get go but unbelievable. Also, it endangered his "Team Amber" approach. Did anyone else think that it was a little weird that an older guy sought help from young girls, that he even shared with them? As long as they were merely your deus ex machina for discussing his actions, it was OK.

You then have him extract violent revenge upon a three time loser. If it had been a moment's impulse, plausible This way, he made himself as low as his wife. And contra to "Team Amber".

You wrote: "She continued. "The medication they have me on is working very well. I have a good grip on things and my psychologist is helping me to understand that my problem isn't going to go away. I'll have to be vigilant. I can see that now and I don't want to go back to that kind of person I was before."

This was excellent but, sadly, rarely followed through. My step-dad's sister suffers from this. One day she really believes it, the next, not. If she stays on her meds, she's a zombie, if not, trouble. There could be no happy ending.

Thanks

'Nuff said! Let the naysayers say nay, you wrote it well. I liked it, and eagerly await your next offering. Thanks!

Oops, I'm not logged in on this device, and don't go anonymous! So....

Signed,

Maninconn

And the end was anti climatic, so not going to score super well, the tension kinda left the story before this chapter.

sounds like life to me. sad he didn`t hook up with the girl, now days ten years is nothing. the child needs a mother.

it depends on which side of the mirror you are in when the tale unfolds. TK U MLJ LV NV

This is really an excellent piece, and a very big surprise for a first effort. The sense of despair and resignation is well and consistently crafted. I'll be looking for your next effort.

This Man needs some pussy from Kerri.

A powerful emotionally draining story. You should submit this for publication.

i look forward to your next story.

Congrats. Ignore the haters... they're always out there, and ignoring them denies them the strange pleasure they get from hurting other people.

5+5 well done cant wait for your next welcome aboard Auther ,Dagoatmandavid said it Cya later

I didn't give it five stars because of the violence with the Mother-in-laws car. Other than that, good story line and good writing. Ten years between man and woman? A mere pittance. Try fifteen years, octogenarian and still in love. Cheers!

Vanadorn,

Very fine effort here with this series of stories. It captures the angst of the partner when you spouse has mental illness. The pace was great, plenty of detail and it all fit together. Far to many LW stories are the 3 page drive-by of discovery-then dump/ keep decision.

You really captured the anger, violence and irrationality of Elle and how little influence Rick had. Then he had to make one tough decision after and other through all the stories - no running away - he took responsibility and hit stuff head on.

Rick was a true male and a good dad. I think you also did an effective job of showing him wrestling with the anger over Stan - he got away with revenge - that mostly fails in real life....but it worked in the story.

Thanks again for all you hard work and effort here - I really appreciated it.

....though it made me terribly sad. But I guess there is no winner in a divorce and a spouse with bi-polar would make it even worse. Then add a child and I can see nothing but heartache.

I have to admit though, I was really bummed that the guy did a hit and run on Stan. That could have and should have, taken away both of Ambers parents. I'm all for violence if needed, but wisely applied and a hit and run wasn't wise. I was also bothered that he never gave Kerri closure. If he isn't going to do something about her, he needs to cut it off rather than throw her bones and give her hope. That was cruel IMO.

Other than that, I really enjoyed the story!

Hi

I really enjoyed your story, look forward to your next one.. N :)

"The resolution of this tale is based on the real world that we live in, not the fantasy world of "man, if I had unlimited resources, no morals, and no chance of getting in trouble – I can kick ass and take names.""

Sick of your wimpy comments to start each section. We all know you didn't have the balls to man up and kick some ass so you can stop telling us you don't. WE KNOW!!!

"In sickness and in health. . ." What is the greater betrayal? The wife was obviously not in her right mind. Any mental illness that justifies involuntary commitment shows that she had limited control over her faculties. Yet Dick, in full mental health and control, abandons her in her hour of greatest need. He doesn't just keep Amber away (which would be appropriate), he withholds his love and support when the person he supposedly loves needs it the most. This submission is rife with self pity, but honestly, he took the easy way out--bury your head in the sand and focus on nothing but the child (and a brief blowjob).

OF COURSE Amber should be his number one priority, but the woman he supposedly loved should be a close second, especially whne she is sick and needing him the most. Between this failure and the mindless violence, I find myself with no respect for Dick. Truthfully, I sympathize far more with the the wife than with him. At least she owned up to her mistakes and tried to get better. He does nothing but justify his simpering self-pity and tendency to run away from any real problem. Disgusting.

The writing was decent, but I can't bring myself to give a decent score to such naked self - justification, so I won't vote at all . . .

This was pretty good for a first submission. It accurately described a clueless husband finding out about his crazy spouse. I lived a similar life, though my wife was a borderline personality. You end up feeling like a loser even though it wasn't about you. You still feel like you should have done something, or you shouldn't have married her in the first place. No one wins in cases like this.

In most states, filing for divorce from someone committed to a Psychiatric institution is blocked by the courts. Especially in cases like this as well as to force both spouses into counselling. Otherwise good story.

Thanks for a great tale . This is well founded in reality and legality. Laws are different in different states. I wouldn't worry about comments from pips from other states.

FYII, I for one have no objection to more and shorter chapters.

Thanks again, great job!

Corsair

I have to admit that I primed to read Vanadorn's next tale. The situation is horrible and the protagonist got snake-eyes in this one. I am living in a sickness-health situation but so far my love for my wife has shielded me from provoking a violent reaction against me, though sometimes her nurses set her off. Our kids are grown and our grand-children coming along nicely so that need to protect the children from unusual behaviour does not come up.

Note that the revenge bothers me since he seemed like a decent guy. Also I was under impression that a good revenge involved the payback victim knowing whom was paying back.

I had such high hopes for the crescendo of this story. I was left flat.

Yeah, it was realistic. The protagonist has the wool removed from his eyes. Stan was the betrayer. The protagonist protected his daughter. He didn't succumb to the charms of his beautiful wife. He even had sex with a nubile nymph and ran over Stan.

Through all of that there was virtually no sizzle. His soon-to-be ex-wife was medicated. He never really had it out with Stan, choosing instead a cowardly act of running him over. That was lame and not worthy of his character.

I understand, you write what you know. But a story should have a climax. This story didn't. It just wound itself out in the most comatose manner imaginable.

Vanadorn, I'm not going to give you all manner of props for your writing because everyone else has already done so. I'll still look forward hopefully to your next works. And, really, this work was fantastic...until the end when it just lacked oomph. Seems like we waited longer than usual for more words but less excitement. It was like poking a stick at a slug.

"OF COURSE Amber should be his number one priority, but the woman he supposedly loved should be a close second, especially when she is sick and needing him the most. Between this failure and the mindless violence, I find myself with no respect for Dick. Truthfully, I sympathize far more with the wife than with him. At least she owned up to her mistakes and tried to get better. He does nothing but justify his simpering self-pity and tendency to run away from any real problem. Disgusting."

Yeah, she's sick and he leaves her. AND he runs over the guy in the dark. Not really a model citizen. Really, I don't have much sympathy for a man who lets the situation get to where it was in the first place. He should have confronted her long before it got to the point where she's throwing computers at him. I guess he grew up somewhat during the ordeal, but he never learned to confront anyone positively. There has to be more to a man than just leaving a sick wife and running some guy over...

Props to Greowulf for that spot-on opinion.

A very thought provoking and well written story. The details regarding CPS and someone being bi-polar really made this story work. Looking forward to what you have for us next.

I'll keep my eyes open for your work.

You did a good job.

I would not mind another ch. to this one, and 11yrs. Is not too much of a age difference, I would like to see them together. You painted them to be good together so why not?

@phill1c and greowulf

There are NO EXCUSES for what she did. Bipolar disorder/depression is a real issue, but neither of you has ever had to put up with it with friends, family, or your significant others. One thing about it is that it's treatable and controllable by a good psychiatrist and the right medication. The other thing about it, though, is that if the person suffering from bipolar depression doesn't want help, there is nothing short of having them committed that is going to work to get them help. Ok, "person" suffering from it is a misnomer. EVERYONE suffers when that person gets into the "lows" of the depression. Bipolar people can turn violent very quickly and easily, and it usually doesn't take much to set them off.

Yes, she got on meds in order to control her condition, thanks to being forcibly committed. But what happens WHEN she decides she doesn't need those meds anymore? Not IF. WHEN. When she wakes up on an even keel one day, and thinks that she doesn't need to take her meds, that is going to start the downhill slide again. I dated a girl for a while with bipolar depression, and I heard of a guy who was actually married to one. It doesn't end well, folks.

I found out about it when my gf at the time went off on me once for no reason, and I decided that I needed to un-ass her A/O permanently. I got away relatively unscathed. The guy that my wife told me about, on the other hand, was lucky to get himself and his son out of the line of fire when his wife went thermonuclear on them.

There is a minority among the people who have bipolar depression that can recognize that they have a problem. Not many of them, though. Most never realize it, and shit hits the fan before they will even admit that they have an issue. Elle in this tale wasn't one of those. She couldn't admit that she had a problem until forcibly committed and medicated. He ASKED her to see a doctor before it got completely out of hand, and she didn't just refuse, she BLEW UP at him.

Would either of you want to sit on a the psychological equivalent of a 50 megaton bomb that could go off at any moment? Think before you judge others based on something that neither of you know a damn thing about!

Oh, and btw, this tale is FICTION, even if it does have a very realistic edge.

@Vanadorn

Still a great tale, and don't worry about the people who've never been through having to deal with someone with bipolar depression. They'll never get it until or unless it happens to them.

I'm impressed with the story. It's very high by the way of substance. I hope to see more of your work.

It's also good to read someone's knowledge of Long Island. That was a pleasant surprise.

I liked your writing, even if it was depressingly realistic. What I think is amazing is the response you have gotten. There is no clear outcome to your tale. The comments run the gamut from BTB to take care of your poor, sick wife! Rarely does a plot walk a line so fine! The way I see it, it is the reality you were going for. There is no clear side to take because there is no good choice. Both choices are tough choices. I would say this, you know too much about this situation not to have experienced it in some way yourself. The farthest reach was the hit and run, but even that happens all the time. Who is good? Who is bad? What is the right thing to do? None of that matters, like you said, Rick does not have that luxury, it is about survival. He doesn't have a lot of resources to deal with a crazy wife and an infant. That said, right at this moment, I know 3 men who all chose to stay and try to keep their families together because they thought it was the right thing to do. They have all paid a high price for the many years they have put in with nasty, sick wives. On the other hand, I know a guy who went for a divorce and although his wife was a nasty, crazy, bitch, she got the kids and he got raped. Fast forward 10 years and the kids are a mess and he is still getting raped. No good solutions to the situation.

Iron Dragon, you know nothing of what I have had to deal with or haven't. You have proved the wisdom of the saying about what happens when you assume. Without going into detail, I know PLENTY about mental illness and dealing with it in friends and family. That experience just underscores my opinion that the protagonist here is a coward.

perhaps he would be justified IF she went off her meds or stopped treatment or ceased including him in the decisions regarding her health. At the time this story ends, though, she has had a wakeup call and shows every intention of trying to manage her health issues. The insidious nature of this disease in particular is that one often NEEDS that kind of wakeup call to realize there is a problem.

the mentally ill need love too, and when a husband turns his back on his wife before exploring every (safe) option to help her, there is only one word for that. . . What we have here is a clear difference of opinion. Just because I don't agree with you, don't assume you know more than me.

You have really presented the subject well. There is no upside to a relationship like this. Patients stop taking their meds, either they feel really good and don't think they need them, or they feel so dragged out due to the meds. For whatever reason, once they stop, the downhill slide starts and the problems start all over again, maybe not the same problems, but problems that can become severe. There are no winners in this story, just as there are no winners in the real life situations.

@Greowulf

So you have friends and family that are bipolar? Well, then you should know more than most about how much of a danger Elle would be to her husband and daughter when she goes off her meds. Maybe you should go back and READ it all instead of skimming the chapters. Hubby TRIED to get her to seek help, and she at first blew him off, then blew up at him. He tried. She made sure that he failed.

Her bipolar depression still doesn't excuse her affairs, either. Take it all into account, and he had no other reasonable alternative than to divorce her and seek custody of his daughter. He had to think of his daughter's safety first. Oh, and she WOULD go off her meds.

Yeah, I told my cousin about this one. She told me that the Elle character is one of the more prevalent cases of bipolar disorder that is initially diagnosed as "mild", but then becomes "moderate to severe" as time goes on. If she isn't "zombified" by the meds, she has an increasing risk of relapse and becoming an even greater danger to those around her, not to mention herself. Are you a psychiatrist or a psychologist? I seriously doubt it. My cousin, on the other hand, has quite a bit of experience dealing with bipolar disorder/depression in her chosen field as a psychiatrist.

So calling Hubby a "coward" for keeping his daughter safe is unfair to the author and the character, an AVERAGE man caught up in a not-so-average situation. He did what he had to do. Like I said in my previous comment, would you like to sit on a bomb that could go off at any moment? I seriously doubt it.

maybe another chapter to where elle gets better and her and rick reconcile

dude You argument PROVES several things > FIRST you are slope headed fuck wit. SECOND he did goes out of way try and help the wife Many times in chapters 1..2.3.... for you to make the claim that never did ANYTHING to help his wife shows you did NOT the read the story OR you are STUPID

In fact that is how Rick was ALMOST BLINDED in one eye you Moron ! And act that she NEVER apologized for .

and IF Greowulf you have real life experience dealing with this sort of stuff then you know protecting babies toddlers and children comes first.

One he did a hit and run on his neighbor who was a bastard but did not have intercource with his wife. His wife is mentally ill he never gave her a second chance. Now my ex is bi polar manic and was eventually stabilized with lithium . She had an affair and was hospitalized more than a half a dozen times. We had 4 daughters together but I just could not live with her. We are still friends and I help her a lot. So I can see him getting the divorce but he did not even try to see if she can be helped . Plus the hit and run was way over the top if the police ever figured out what went down . His daughter would have ending up in foster care and him doing a long jail sentence.

I think for too many readers are missing the significance of the car scene or attack by Rick on Stan. It may seem to be a unnecessary act by Rick who looked up to this point in the story seemed to be handling things fairly well.

There been some comments made the car attack seems to be at cross purposes with Rick's a stated goal.. which is to protect the daughter ( aka TEAM AMBER) . But that is the exact point and it seems me obvious as to why this author inserted the car attack scene into the story.

Rick did not attack Stan "out of the blue "and for no reason. The author made it clear that several other things were going on in Rick's life at that time and that the pressure was simply getting to him. The car attack scene is IMO critical to the story because it shows how the chain of events has dramatically impacted his character.

A coward! Are you serious? Living w/someone who is bipolar ain't no easy trick. Been there done that...ain't going back. Rick did exactly what he should have done.

Great realistic story well told. I'll read this author's stuff anytime.

A coward -- really.

5x5++

I was also put off by the hit and run. I get the need to resolve Stan's role in the undoing of the marriage. Would have been sweeter if he had suffered equally but not at Rick's hand. You might consider an editor. Pretty good writing, but one or two glaring grammar issues.

Good story....... BUT why do you use "We rung off from each other"???? Used in other chapters. The term "ringing off" is not used in the US but your story is US based...............

... is that in spite of your good sentence structure, you (and/or your editor) don't seem to recognize the problem with objective vs. subjective use of pronouns.

"So Amber and I hung out on the stoop."

"Amber and I finished up our Sunday night before turning in."

These are both correct. the "I" in both cases was the subject of the verb. But ...

“Both cops nodded their head at me and bid Amber and I a farewell.”

“I have to do what's right for Amber and I now.”

“It was a difficult year for Amber and I.”

In all three cases the "I" was the object of a verb (bid) or a preposition (for) and should be, for example, "for Amber and me.)

Surely your word processor has a grammar checker that would catch these?

All the best. I look forward to reading more of you work.

Aloha,

John Flanigan

P.S. If you would like me to scan future works for this minor but annoying problem, I would be happy to do it.

JMF

Thanks for sharing.

Liked your story V .

It's good to write about what you know.. It's better to write about what you enjoy reading.. It's best for you to share that which you write . Good job.

One caution V . Sometimes it is good to NOT stay strictly realistic .

A little outrageous , a little fantasy can be very entertaining .

Look forward to your next story as

AMerryMan

1. All are set up by the 'clues' against Stan and 'naively' missed and the jumping up of readers for missing it, to serve as justification for running over Stan.

Did it work? don't think so.

'What was I doing? Why was I looking for Stan?'

...

Stan

"What the hell happened to you!?" he exclaimed, interrupting me. "Holy shit, Rick!"

...

"Rick...I gotta tell you. There's a limit, man." He seemed uncomfortable, rubbing his hands back and forth. "Did...did she do that?"

----

So, 'Vanadom' got 'slaverowan' and a 'true male' medal.

Still, is it just a justification?

No! A Confession! He is laughing at all of us and the society; with the rude and persistent intos and the last chapter.

I hope somebody will notify the the authorities of this story. I'm sure there is a girl somewhere driven nuts by insane BDSM games.

And what happened to the authors? no comments?

k.

India.

Writing fairly good. Plot is credible. Unfortunately no one to like in this story. Rick is initially a very sympathetic character, even though he seems wimpish and a bit thick. It was obvious Stan was a suspect -- why didn't Rick try talking to the police? I'm sure they could have come up with some charges against Stan, especially if they were to search his house.

But Rick turns passive-aggressive. He can't do anything until the frustration boils over. Like at work (not unreasonable vis-a-vis Andy, but unnecessary had he been a stand-up assertive guy in the first place). His decision to maim or kill Stan, while briefly satisfying emotionally (now I have power and can get you, you shit), is of course pretty foolish and risky.

Would you trust a man with propensity for uncontrolled violence and willingness to do such a thing? Would you trust him to be a single parent raising a young girl? And Rick feels no guilt, an eye-for-an-eye makes it OK. But I agree with others that such revenge loses its appeal when the victim does not know who got even with him. Even the Mafia knows that one -- teach the perp a lesson as a deterrent.

I think many would agree that Stan has become evil after being touched by evil. Elle is probably not trustworthy; what if she slits his throat during the night the next time? So I think the divorce made good sense. But cheating with the kid's daycare girl is again the passive-aggressive action I was talking about. I really think a truly good and noble man (as Rick was originally portrayed) could have resisted the puppy love stuff and by succumbing, he really was leading her on.

I give this four stars; good first story and I look forward to more from this author.

to Harry and the other guy:

I can appreciate you bring in YOUR experiences into the critique of my opinion. However, I didn't read YOUR story. I read Vanadorn's, So, based on my reading of that story, I can say that divorcing her when she's making her first effort to treat her illness seems cowardly, as does running a man over because he's "betrayed" you.

So, yeah, I read the entire story. And, yeah, I feel like he needed to treat his vows to his wife with as much reverence as he wanted her to. And, they BOTH cheated. And they BOTH endangered the welfare of their daughter.

The namecalling was not needed either. I can see fault with both spouses and not be a bad person. What? You gonna run me over?!

I was reading about RTA's ( as I was in one many years ago ) that 75% of head injuries were the patient needs head trauma therapy do end with the couple splitting up.

The non injured party just can not or will not cope with the RTA head injury partner.

Sad, swallow, but unfortunately true !

Good story which tries very hard to be real life situation.

...you did the right thing by ending this one.

Both excellent, deep, considered writing.

I am jealous, Vanadorn. you get to sign off as 'V', one of the greatest characters to emerge from the recent trend of turning graphic novels into film. Is that intentional?

I love that neither of your works are full of cardboard cutouts; no paint-by-numbers stories here.

And both of you an antidote for the rash of disgusting trash by authors like Anal_Ally. Inhuman, self serving, unrealistic garbage that it is.

Thanks to everyone for their comments and the sheer avalanche of feedback I've received. I try to stay out of the comment section, leaving my words usually at the start of the tale as well as the story itself.

The overwhelming issue with my story from what I can tell is the fact that it 'feels' like reality. There isn't a defined hero, there isn't a moral compass pointing towards north - the people, situations, and everything about it feels real.

My tale touches on bi-polar, BDSM, neglect, marital vows, living with a mentally ill person, spousal abuse, court and all it's myriad trappings, vengeance, and ultimately - what decisions a man has to make. And from what I've read from you, those who have commented on this tale and other chapters, many of you have lived with or know someone or experienced these situations yourself.

People are different and have different experiences - some people see things in black and white with clearly defined roles, some see shades of gray and a murkier view of difficult decision making. Real life is not so clearly defined in "right" and "wrong" and when these two dissimilar manners of thought collide, neither side can understand why the other side just 'doesn't get it.'

I took you through the tale from Rick's point of view. He's our protagonist. He is not, I repeat, not a hero. This story doesn't have one - because in this reality, there isn't a hero or a winner. You can like him or not like him, but you have to respect the fact that he made a decision even if it's not the one you would make. Everyone has their own breaking or tipping point - the place where they say - "enough! I can't take any more!"

And we had a ring-side seat for Rick's.

When he was attacked in Chapter 3, when the apathy and neglect and difficulty and mental and emotional toll finally bled over to that first act of violence, the number of comments that followed that chapter were calling for blood. Elle should be this, and police that, and never would I, and Rick needs to. There was an overwhelming hue and cry for Rick to man up and 'do what's right'.

And now, at the end of the tale, Rick has made decisions and is no longer: 1) an abuse victim, 2) putting himself and his daughter in a volatile and escalating dangerous situation, 3) dealing with an almost insurmountable stress level, 4) and try to exact some revenge against the only target he could.

This is a story, and a realistic one, but still a story. And I am so thankful for everyone's dialogue during this..

-V

Very good, for your first one. For future stories, I suggest you keep in mind that what makes for successful, powerful, stories on this site (at least in my opinion) is a scenario in which: 1) a wife cheats, 2) the husband finds out, 3) his primary response is anger, 4) he confronts the wife, 5) there is extensive, emotional dialog, and 6) there are consequences. Stick more or less to that formula, and I will very much look forward to your future posts. Thanks.

The story ended the right way. However, I have 1 grammatical issue, and it seems to happen with most authors. When you say 'it was good for Kerri and I', that is totally bad grammar. Would you say 'it was good for I'? The grammar should be 'it was good for Kerri and me'. In other words, 'it was good for me'.

5*

If you read more carefully, I never said he did nothing to help her. I said he abandoned her AFTER she finally had the wakeup call that forced her to see she needed treatment. I don't fault his actions (mostly) before that point, but as I said, the nature of mental illness often makes it nigh impossible to even SEE the problems until treatment begins. And that's the very point he abandons her, the first time she has a real chance at recovery.

I think the main difference in viewpoints here is that some of us believe we can overcome our problems with sufficient effort and motivation (primarily), love and support, while some of us don't. Given your tendency to attack and insult anyone who disagrees with you, I truly hope you get the love and support necessary to overcome yours. . . .

Please write more stories. Share your gift. You have a way of pulling the reader in so it feels like they are there in the moment.

Excellent. He did the right thing. She was toxic to the child as well as herself. As for the neighbor, he's lucky to be breathing. I look forward to future tales.

Five Stars

I don't see it, but whatever. Do watch the pointless details. Just because it's "realistic," doesn't make it good fiction.

what do you call a cuckhold who reads a story that isnt about a cuckhold? kentuckysub must be a closet real man who wants everyone to think hes a cuckhold!!!!!!

1. Day school teachers these days are fast replacing air hostesses as homewreckers. I once read that air hostesses made it their jobs to steal other women's men! Sorry sorry....just saying. But seriously this daycare teacher thing is fast becoming a problem for marriages.

2. Bi Polar: many of my clients and some family members suffer from the condition. I think Rick didn't fully understand the turmoil and pain his wife was experiencing. I am NOT excusing her cheating though.

3. Although I loved this story I only chose to read the first and second last page. I guess I knew the outcome and just didn't want to understand further. I'm guessing I behaved like Rick, didn't I?

4. Great writing. Please continue

Great tale. Looking forward to seeing your next efforts. -claud137

Kerri is not too young to the main character. 20 years is big different, but they have not so big different.

Really enjoyed the story. I always feel bad when I read about the breakup of a family whither true or not. The authorities have screwed up more marriages than spouses making mistakes ever have. Life never was designed to be fair, it is more of a test to see if we can forgive. If we can't then we are doomed because we all have to walk through that door sometime. If we can't forgive then HE will make us wait to be forgiven.

Excellent story, rich plot, drama - but no sob story: you merit 5 stars easily. You are really talented! Please continue writing.

in comparing fair with any legal justice system and the zealots employed by the powers that are, TK U MLJ LV NV

This was a great first effort. I only started reading on this site this past year, and it was depressing to discover one of the top contributors only to find out they've stopped posting stories. I hope that you'll feel encouraged to continue. When Somerset Maugham wrote "Of Human Bondage" (which was NOT a BDSM novel, btw!), he was asked why he didn't write more novels. His reply was something to the effect of, "I put everything from my life into OHB- there isn't anymore left to write about". I hope that you'll find more to write about, and I look forward to reading it.

After the 2nd read I am still fully confident of my original 5 stars vote. Gonna start now on your latest story. Please keep writing. Claud137.

I loved this story. I even like the hit and run scene, though I normally hate violent revenge. They often seem over the top and fantasy based. This was perfect for his character. You have to understand, up until that scene he had been taking shit from everyone because of what his wife did. He kept getting victimized and he had no choice but to sit and take it. He was like a ping pong ball. Nothing was in his control. That scene was the epic moment in which he finally took his life back. No longer was he at the mercy of other people.

I agree with you and hope that if you finish Deployment you remember it to for "Mr. Mike"

There will be no green berets or severed limbs or cuckoldry or creampies. This is as close to reality as I could get it and still tell the story.

No cuckoldry?

What is your definition of cuckoldry.?

I did, but I was the child. CPS did remove me put me in foster homes, where I was beaten and molested. Thank God I broke the cycle. I loved this story. Thanks, even though it was hard for me to read.

Mental illness is an illness and it should be handled in a manner of due diligence and respect. The author seemed overwhelmed with sexual aspects of this dilemma rather than on the human interest involved. Nevertheless, this is literotica and the story fits but just too dark dismal and lose lose oriented. I didn't like it at all.

The commentator below, while quite entitled to their opinion, shows a remarkably poor command of basic English! So much for the opinion offered.

It is sometimes conveniently easy to forget that probably ALL of the authors on these sites are amateurs and they are offering their stories at their skill levels. It is our simple task to either like or dislike the particular effort in front of us and vote accordingly but fairly. In this case I offered 4* - for the entire story series. I'd like to see more of this persons work. He took a VERY difficult subject and did a good job - the comments below are unfounded and are, at best, to be ignored.

So -any more? - asap

Even without the (sexual) tryst with Kerri this is a very well written emotional story. In so far as the bipolar incidents, it is very real. Good read, Van. Cheers!