All Comments on 'Jack and Mary Nobbled Pt. 01'

This story was told in a very different way , I liked the almost poetics at the start but then you need a score card to keep up with all the of the players in this story . I found it hard to read at times but got through it and on some level I did enjoy it for it's off beat ness and story line would like to see how it all works out in the end . Keep up the work and finish the story .

totally confused

I found this story most unusual. There appeared to be far too many spin off stories.

Strange.

Len

Was that crap

the whole thing made no sense at all,it was all over the place plus none of it was coherent,couldn't follow WTF was going on

Do us all a favour & not bother with continuing with next parts

You can't write, you can't tell a story, you can't even seem to make up your mind what your story's supposed to be about. This is a no-star winner, so congratulations, you just won the Turd Of The Year award; as this piece of shit circles the bowl, have a think about why it's so bad, and on how many levels

What a mess of context and syntax got two paragraphs in and had to g to the end to see what others thought of this collection of words that should have been deleted