All Comments on 'Jenny, John and Nicole'

Although the narrative gets a little frantic when Nicole first launches into her "Mistress" act - the more methodical build-up in the opening third is far more effective, and the action is compressed rather too heavily as John and Nicole get down 'n' dirty - you manage to calm it down by the close and leave the tale on a high note. The regular switching between p.o.v. and the overlapping of the individual timelines works really well, and is well-suited to this story. I do hope you decide to provide us with the sequel you hint at in Nicole's final remarks (especially if the fourth character has no idea what he's getting into), and look forward very much to your next contribution.

And try not to move from telling the story in past tense then slipping in to present tense.

Cummed? Or came?