All Comments on 'Jeremy Green Ch. 05-08'

Eternalivan, I love your stories. Even when I don't know where you are going with them I love them. But I am confused. This is frustrating. Is this the end of Jeremy Green? If so it seems as if you got bored with it and just decided to end it fast. Or maybe you didn't know how to make this part fit with the others. It was 4 chapters of build up and then bam it is over. I am sorry if this is harsh.

Personally, I am not sure. I'm having a writer's block with this story. I have a plot in mind which should take Jeremy Green to another level. My problem is linking the ideas. So I need to think a lot. In all certainty this won't be the end and i'll do to this story the justice that it deserves.

I am glad you said that as I too was a tad confused by the events in this chapter. Having a block sucks so I can't wait to see how you expand this story as it is a great story

It seems to me the story could end here, but more would be better. The situation with Jacob isn't totally resolved as I don't think he's just going to go away. So I believe, as things stand now, another chapter or two might be good. But I do understand writer's block. I like these characters, although I think Tiara is a wee bit bossy, and the situation is one I think many people, gay or straight, find themselves in. We'll be here when you're ready.

I really enjoyed reading this story. It's an emotional one and I'm so happy that Jeremy left Jacob! lol

I don't know what idea you have in mind for the next part of Jeremy's life but would it make sense to make a part two of the same book? I've read stories like that where one section of the story ends and the next part either jumps to a future time period or just starts up as a part two of the story.

You've done a great job writing this and I wish you the best figuring out the rest.

Happy Writing!

Uchena

I liked this chapter alot. I think you did a great job of expressing the passion and emotional hell it is to do what Chris had to. His passionate speech about loving Jeremy but not being able to watch him be destroyed by his own choice really showed the pain that would be involved in cutting ties with the one you love in order to keep your sanity and also not enable the person by letting him have the support and love Chris offered while still keeping his abuser. It was a great scene.

The one thing I'd have liked to seen a little bit more of Jeremy's thoughts or at least what was the trigger that sent him from his speech in the park about not being able to give up Jacob to getting mad enough and strong enough to leave. I think Chris leaving him would have been enough but I'd have liked to see his thoughts and what changed in his mind to realize he didn't want this anymore. I don't think the fear of another beating would be enough for him. All the same, I loved how he grabbed the strap and stood up to Jacob. It was a good scene when he stood up for himself. To see him make contact with the person he was before he was beat down by Jacob physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.

I agree that it really can't be over till we see Jacob's reaction. He would be rippin mad. His injury may have stopped him from doing something super drastic and let Jeremy leave, but that psychopath..and he really is one...wouldn't lose Jeremy gracefully. I think he'd go ballistic. It would be good to see Jeremy and Chris settling into a life and have it upset by Jacob one more time before they win. I hope you'll consider doing this.

Overall great story!

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