All Comments on 'Jill Ch. 02'

This was less tease and more to the point of showing all the goods. I still loved it as the previous chapter set all this up. I can see where both of them where way past pretense and far more carried away by their lust for each other. This was a great union of two totally electric lovers. The part of relaxing and letting the bartender see her in the state of arousal from Jeff yet in self-control, was great exhibitionist and voyeurism.

You do an impressive job of writing and the story is not finished as these two have something growing past just a short erotic fling.

Your descriptions are vivid mind paintings, and so much a part of each story.

Thank you

With great regards

and i love it

The first chapter was one of the best stories I've ever seen in its category, and this was a seriously erotic follow-up. I think my only complaint is the incredibly long run-on sentences that you use near the end, where the entire paragraph just keeps going and going and going into one long run-on sentence that keeps building and building and starts to make us tired of reading it until I skip ahead to see if there are any periods only to find that there aren't and....

See what I'm getting at? You could easily break those last few paragraphs into multiple sentences.