John & Carol

Carol was sad to see the evening effectively end for her with Todd's question. She knew they'd all go, She knew John had no choice but to go with them. As they stood John and Carol stayed at the table.

"I have to go Carol..."

"I know. Go, have a good time."

"Come with us... please Carol."

Marge walked into the room, pulling her coat on. "Come on you two! Aren't you coming?"

John rose reluctantly, his eyes asking again for Carol to go.

"Carol, hurry up. Get your coat." Marge was persistant.

"No... you guys go ahead... I'll just stay here and read a book."

"Come on Carol! We're not leaving here without you. John likes you, that means you're my friend too... I'm not going out and leaving a friend here alone. Let's go, you're making everyone wait."

As they walked down the street John couldn't get close to Carol. The men and the women congregated in separate groups naturally. The guys talking about the day, planning what runs they wanted to do the next day, the women talking about the men. As they settled in the bar Carol listened to the girls talk about the men, she could tell the pecking order of the group by the way the women addressed the men. She didn't hear much about John. The few comments she heard making it was obvious that he was beyond the pecking order. He seemed almost to be a sacred topic, above the common gossip that the girls talked about the others.

The bar was full and a group of students, Becky among them, waved them to an over large picnic table. The table was covered by a large plastic red and white checked table cloth, with benches that ran down each side. Everyone was talking at once and the sound was deafening.

Marge sat down next to Carol on the bench stool.

"John has the hots for you." She said quietly. With the volume of the sound surrounding them, the quiet comment was as if they were in a cone of silence.

"Oh he does not!"

"He really does. He's never been one to really give a shit about girls. Don't get me wrong, I know he likes girls, but he's never been one to really care. He's so intense, so into school, into work he never really has time for us. He's never concentrated on any one of us. I was tempted to throw my line in that pool once or twice but he wasn't interested in me. He's the leader of the group. He doesn't talk much but when he does every one really listens. He's just more driven that the rest. There isn't a girl around that wouldn't want to be with him. And he wants you."

"How do you know he... has the hots for me then?" Carol laughed.

"I saw the way he looked at you, and the way he didn't look at you. I've never seen him look at anyone like that. When we asked if you guys were coming he wouldn't look at you. He was afraid you'd say no."

"Is that why you made me come?"

"Well, I wanted to try to get to know you a little better. If John looks at you like that, if John likes you, you must be pretty special. I know he thinks so."

"I like him too..." Carol blushed and lowered her eyes.

"I'll warn you. He's like a brother to all of us. A distracted brother but a brother just the same. You'll have girls wanting to claw your eyes out because he likes you, and if you hurt him, I'll want to claw your eyes out. I love him... I always have. And I'm not alone."

"It's not like that. I'm 10 years older than he is, I've seen Becky sniffing around, I don't have a chance..."

"I could never see him with Becky. Maybe for a dalliance but never anything serious. You, I could see him with. He's smart, he's funny, he's worth a mint and he's too serious for anyone our age. Take my word for it. You two are perfect together."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I'll give you a little advice. You're going to have to go after him. It's not that he thinks he's above you, but he's got this inferiority complex thing going. He always has. I know he can seem arrogant sometimes, it's not that he's arrogant he's just... occupied. I wish someone would think about me that intensely... shit I wish he'd think about me that intently... He's afraid of women. Even though the girls seem to flock to him, he'll never make the first move. I don't think he knows how."

"He already made the move... He asked me out for drinks tonight. Alone, just the two of us."

"No way! Really? Ooh he's got it bad! What the hell are you doing here with us then?" Marge started to laugh.

"I shot him down at first. But he kept asking until I said yes."

"He asked you? That's a first. I've never heard of him being in pursuit of any woman, in flight from perhaps, but never in pursuit."

Carol watched as John walked towards the bathroom, and then he veered out the door front door of the bar. Carol rose quietly and Marge looked to where she was looking.

"Don't hurt him Carol."

"I couldn't Marge. I just couldn't"

Carol couldn't see the smile on Marge's face as she walked away. She found John leaning on the railing looking at the sky quietly.

"Hi."

John looked at her.

"What are you thinking about? Tomorrow?"

"I was thinking about you. We were supposed to go on a date."

"You're not having fun with your friends?"

"Carol, I don't know how to deal with this... I don't think... I don't... think we should go out..." Carols' heart sunk, she waited for him to tell her why it was a bad idea, to leave him alone, that she was too old, too different, something.

"Deal with what John." That tone, just this side of bitchy, trying to hide her disappointment behind it.

"Deal with you. Deal with the way I feel about you... I can't... God I sound like a fucking fifteen year old."

"Deal with me? What am I a conquest or something? A fucking target like the others? A mindless object that you have to deal with? Sorry to be such a pain in your ass."

"Park the bitchiness Carol."

"Why?"

"Because it's the one thing about you I don't like. I was sitting here thinking about how to get you away from them. How could I get you alone. Now you're here and I can't talk. That's what you do to me. That's what no one has ever done to me before. I know you think I'm just a kid Carol, I know nothing could ever come of it."

She looked at him, his gaze at her was intense, piercing. "I know, to you I'm just a guy, a young guy, a student. Your ticket to being in the group, but when you look at me... like that. My heart flutters, my knees get weak. I've never felt like this before. I can't... I can't go out with you... and... mean nothing to you... Maybe I should just go away."

"John, shut up."

"I knew it."

"John... Shhh... Shut up."

"Carol, I don't know what to do..."

Carol reached up and touched his face, his cheek. Her hand slid around his head and pulled it down to her. She looked at him intensely, like she was trying to decide if what he was saying was the truth. Their lips met, softly. She leaned into him her arms coming up around his neck, his sliding around her back, holding her close, tightly. She pulled back to look into his eyes but his head slid to her shoulder his arms still tight like he'd never let her go, like if he let go he would lose her, she would disappear as if only a dream.

"I'm afraid you'll disappear."

'Is he reading my mind?' she thought.

"Carol, there's a lot about me you don't know. Nothing scary but there's... stuff... I'll have to tell you. But I have to know. Do you have... feelings for me?"

She was at once the happiest she'd ever been and felt her heart breaking at the same time.

"John, this could be... difficult."

"Shit."

"John, Stop it. Please, I listened to you, now you listen to me. You heard Bob's reaction to you even giving me the time of day today. What's he going to say when he find's out it's more than that? What are the rest of your friends going to say? Can you deal with that? Can you deal with it when my friends find out about this? That doesn't even start to deal with what happens when the university finds out about this."

"I knew this could never happen."

"John, shut up." He winced.

"John, all that said, when I look at you my heart pounds. When you talk to me I can't hear anything else in the room. When I held your hand on the couch this evening I couldn't breathe. I've never felt like this before. I don't know what to do either John. But we have to go carefully, slowly. I want to see where this brings us but slowly. Ok?"

He leaned down, and kissed her. She'd never felt a more moving kiss, full of passion, soft and gentle. She never wanted it to end. His lips parted, hands on her back and she melted into him, feeling his chest pressing against her breasts, his thighs against hers. She was lost in the embrace, feeling a heat in her belly that she'd never felt before. She felt him growing against her pelvis and fought the urge to press against it, to rub against it like a bitch in heat. He pulled back and looked at her. She sensed more than saw his cheeks flush in the dim light.

"I'm sorry, sometimes it does that."

She laughed. "It's ok John."

"You didn't feel anything?"

"I did John."

"You're serious?"

"John! You couldn't tell? That was the most amazing kiss I've ever had and I know there's more. I want you, I want to be as close to you as I can be, I want my arms around you, I want to feel your body against mine... with... with nothing between them. I... I... want to be one with you."

"How do you control that? How do you hide it so well?"

"What do you want me to do? Rip off my clothes and lay in the street for you? We have to go slow. We have to be careful John. John, trust me... please..."

He leaned down to kiss her again. They were so focused on each other they didn't see, in the shadows, Becky watching them kiss. The frown on her face was unmistakable. The menace in her glare was obvious as she watched the passion. She slid back through the door quietly before they parted.

John sat down quietly in the noisy bar. He watched as Carol came back from the rest room and sat down. He quietly watched her, the expressions on her face, the way her hair flowed and shone. Her long neck, graceful, and strong. She didn't look ten years older than the group, she was energetic, funny, bright and as intriguing to the rest of the group as she was to him. He couldn't understand how she could so easily go from their conversation outside to this. As if it didn't matter to her.

She glanced up the table at him and fell silent as she looked at him. She saw him looking at her and blushed, lowering her eyes. Her head tilted slightly, shoulder raised a little, long hair in a curve down over her shoulder. She smiled and he melted once again. 'God, how does she do that to me? Why does she do that to me?'

The lights flickered with last call and John stood. The group gathered their jackets and began to file out. Carol tried to subtly move through the crowd to be next to John, but just as she was moving up next to him she felt Becky's shoulder push her forcefully out of the way.

"Hey John! It's still early. Want to come check out our place? We have a hot tub. Come on please?"

"Becky, I don't have a suit with me and I'm tired. I want to get up early and ski tomorrow. Tonight's not a good night... Maybe some other time ok?"

Carol saw Bob smile and shake his head, then look at Carol. The expression on his face was... doubtful, concerned. Carol understood that Bob didn't approve, that John meant something to him. Carol flushed under Bob's gaze, smiling shyly at him. She watched as Marge slid in next to Bob and took his hand, she smiled at Carol too. Carol smiled back shyly.

"Hey Becky! Come here..."

Carol slid in next to John as Becky walked over to Marge.

"Hi."

"Hi Teach..." John smiled at her reaction. A mix between anger and regret. "Careful right?"

Carol leaned towards him and whispered in his ear, "Fuck you"

John laughed and his arm went around her shoulders, pulling her close to him.

"John..." Carol was mixed with emotions, feeling so right, so home in his arm, at the same time afraid of the reaction of the people around them. "Careful?"

John kissed her cheek. "I can't Carol... I can't help it."

Carol gave in and walked quietly, close to John, smelling him, feeling his arm burning into her. She never felt more right in her life. She looked at Bob and he was smiling now, almost as if in acceptance.

Carol and John sat on the couch, the TV playing quietly, snores of the guys sleeping in the living room subtle, a background rumble.

"John, aren't you going to sleep, it's almost three o'clock."

"You're sitting on my bed and I don't want you to go."

"Oh John, what are we going to do? John, I could lose my job, you could lose your friends..."

"I don't care Carol... I mean about my friends... I... I... mean, if it's important to me they should understand. If they don't then they're not friends. Right? But, I don't want you to lose your job. Shit." The last word sounding anguished.

"John, I... I've been thinking about it... about my job I mean... what it means to me. We don't... we don't know where this will go. Am I just a plaything for you for the week? Is this the beginning of something serious? Is it worth losing my career over?"

"Carol, I've never felt this way before... I've never... this is just so intense to me, I can't stop thinking about you, can't stop... my heart breaks every time I look at you from across the room. I can't get enough of you, I want to talk with you, sit in silence with you, wrap my arms around you. I never want to be away from you. Is that enough?"

Carol leaned over and brushed his lips with hers, taking his hand in hers. He kissed her back, his lips parting, his tongue searching for hers, tasting her, feeling her. She melted against him, wanting contact with him, to be close to him, to feel his heart beat. He felt her resistance drain from her, felt his faltering too. This was right, this was everything he ever thought love could be. Could he possibly be in love with her so soon? Does it really happen this way? There was no other answer.

"I love you."

Carol pulled back and looked in his eyes.

"What?"

"I love you..."

"You can't John... it's too soon..."

"Carol, you'll get used to the idea in time, it's not going to change."

"John, really... it's just... it's..."

"You don't feel anything? Not even a little reciprocation?"

"Oh god..."

"It's ok Carol, I love you, I have the rest of our lives to get you to love me back."

"I already do John... I have from the first moment I saw you. I don't know why but I do. I can't help it either. John, what are we going to do? How can I be near you all week but not be with you... I can't... I can't just sit across the room from you and watch you... Watch Becky hit on you over and over again..."

"Then let's be together."

Carol leaned over and pushed John back on the couch, her head resting on his chest.

"I love you John, just hold me... please..."

John held her gently, like a piece of priceless china. Wanting a firm grip to keep from dropping it but not squeezing it hard enough to break it. He leaned down and kissed her hair, smelling her shampoo, feeling her hands on his chest, listening to her breathing settle down, become rhythmical. He knew she was falling asleep. He stroked her hair gently, absently thinking of all the things that could go wrong... all the things that were right... how right this felt.

He woke and it was still dark. He felt his erection pressed into her thigh and tried to move away. She followed him, still sleeping. The feelings washed over him and he held her tighter again kissing her hair. His arm was numb, his fingers tingling and he smiled in the darkness.

Carefully pulling his arm from under her, trying not to wake her, he did none the less. She rolled over, her back to him on the couch. He could feel her pressed against him, the full length of his body. There was little room on the couch for the both of them. She pulled his arm over her and held it between her breasts against her chest. He could feel the rhythmic rising and falling of her chest as he lay there quietly in the darkness, could feel the pressure of her buttocks against his groin, her feet tangled with his.

'God, is this what she calls taking things slow? I should wake her so she can go to bed. No one will know... I wonder what time it is.'

He felt rhythmic pressure against his crotch, his erection. He couldn't tell if his erection was a result of natural nocturnal rising or if it was a function of being with her, nestled between her cheeks. He tried to press back against the couch, to remove himself from it, even though it felt so good, but there was no where to go. He tried to pull his arm out of her grasp, to remove his hand from between the warmth of her breasts but she held on tighter.

"Carol... Carol..." he whispered in the darkness. "Carol... You should go to your room..."

"huh? What time is it?"

"It's almost 4:30..."

"You want me to go?"

"No Carol, I don't, but I know you should..."

"Shhh... Just let me lay here with you a little while longer love... please..."

"Carol, what if someone wakes up?"

"I don't care..."

She pulled his hand tighter around her, holding it tightly, his arm between her breasts, his hand touching her cheek. She nuzzled it and moaned quietly in the dark. "Mmmm, this is nice."

John felt her cheek tighten as she smiled. The weight of her breasts against his arm increased the male reaction to the proximity of a beautiful desirable female. He felt his cock twitch.

"I'm sorry, I can't help that."

"I'm glad you can't, it feels good."

Carol took his hand and slid it down to her breast. John's finger felt her nipple through the fabric of her sweater and bra, hardening. He so wanted to take it between his fingers.

"John..."

"Yes..."

"Tell me again..."

'Oh shit... what does she want me to tell her again... what have I told her...' John wondered, then it struck him like a ton of bricks, he almost started laughing, knowing that was the worst thing he could do.

"I love you Carol. I truly love you."

"mmm... I love you too baby... I want to stay here in your arms forever, I never want to leave."

She pressed back against him and he felt the rhythmic contractions of her ass as she pressed against him. He felt her wiggle her ass slowly, seductively against him, he felt the tingles as she slid against him, shocked that the feelings could be so intense through the sheer fabric of her pants and the coarse fabric of his jeans. He wasn't 17 anymore he was 21 for crying out loud. What was she going to think when he started to moan. He wanted to hold her tight, he wanted to feel her body against his forever, but more than that he didn't want to embarrass himself.

"Come on Carol, please... if you don't want anyone to find out you have to go..."

"You feel good John."

Her hand reached over her side behind her and he felt her fingers slide across his erection. He couldn't help it and pressed into her hand.

"Oh god Carol, that feels good."

"You feel good my love... I want to make you feel better." She fumbled with the button at the top of his jeans and quietly slid the zipper of his pants down. She let go to roll over, facing him, her hand sliding down once again to take him into her grip.

"God, John, you are so hard..."

"You made me that way Carol..."

"You feel so good." She whispered as her hand slid up and down his length. Her fingers curled around his shaft, her palm rubbing the head with each downward stroke.

"oh, Carol... God that feels good." He couldn't touch her, only hold her tightly as she stroked him. He knew if he put his arm between them too she would fall off the couch. The cool softness of her hand stroking him was more than he could bear and he knew it was only a matter of time, and not much time.