June Gets Even... Oops

I decided to take it slow and I called June and asked her out to dinner. It was awkward and too hard to talk much but I did manage to tell her that I loved her and that I needed time to get through it all. That night after dinner she asked me to come in for a nightcap and I did. The conversation was just as awkward there and I decided to leave, as I did, I kissed her goodnight but she kissed me back and before I knew it we were on the sofa with my pants down and my cock in her mouth. I tried to enjoy the feelings of her mouth on me, and, maybe most of all, being with her again, but over and over again I could hear her telling me how great Ralph was and how great his cock was. In my mind I could see the two of them there on our bed and I couldn't keep it up! Mortified, I pushed her away, apologized and left.

For the next two days I tried to rationalize. It had been traumatic. I just needed to stay with it. Ralph may be bigger than me but the size of a cock isn't all that important especially where there is so little difference.

Man, it is easier to say than to believe.

While at work I overheard, Carrie, my secretary, girl Friday, tell one of the other girls in the office that she and her boyfriend still had not managed to sublet his apartment. They had recently moved in together and decided to keep her place. I called her in to my office and within an hour I was taking a tour of a very nice, mostly furnished apartment not too far from work or home, or, . . . at least what used to be home.

I called June to let her know and was taken back by how upset she was. It was becoming apparent that she wanted to make things better and that I was now the problem.

I was! But better we get on with our lives separately than June be saddled with an emotional cripple who couldn't get it up anymore. Try as I might, I really couldn't hate her, or Ralph for that matter. Having reviewed all the facts and if the circumstances were reversed, I fear I would have come to the same conclusion as June and Ralph. I actually dropped in to see them and to let Ralph know how I felt.

He looked worse than I felt. I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that for a moment I felt some pleasure from that but in the greater picture, it didn't help. I called and asked June for my desk and one of the computers and although she said she would rather I come home and use them, she wouldn't object if I took them.

The next day I saw my family doctor who sent me to a clinic that specializes in men's problems. I was there for more than three hours while they poked, prodded and asked questions that were as embarrassing as hell at first, but which I finally began to answer as calmly and coolly as I could.

At the next appointment the doctor was both blunt and brief. "Please excuse the apparent crudeness of my response, but there is no organic reason for you being unable to achieve and maintain an erection. All the plumbing works fine. You, to continue an analogy, need some reprogramming that's all. There has been some trauma and you need to recover from it but that should only be a matter of time and continuing to try. Failing now and then is normal even when there has been no trauma."

Back at the apartment I thought about that; continuing to try, yeah sure! All I would need is to get with June and be a "limp dick" again, especially after she was so impressed with Ralph.

Later in the week I was at my dentist appointment when I saw Mary. She came over and hugged me warmly and it felt good. I've found I really care for her but I would never do anything inappropriate and when I found that her closeness and her hugging was giving me a hard on, I was conflicted! The hard on felt good, especially since I had been having problems getting it up, but I didn't want to hurt or insult Mary either so I broke off the hug as soon as I reasonably could. I wasn't sure but she seemed to have something of a mischievous smile on her face and it occurred to me briefly that I may have been busted after all. She however seemed really excited to see me and wanted me to come to the food court as June was waiting for her there. Having already the start of a significant erection and hoping to continue in the same manner in June's company, I went with her, my excitement growing as we neared the court.

All hopes were dashed however as June appeared to be with Carl Tedley. Carl is a ladies man and I would have thought not June's type but they seemed to be deep in conversation. I was having an argument with myself! I felt I should still go over and say hi but also I had to realize that things may not work out for June and I and it would be wrong to interfere in any way with her attempts to move on with her life. I believe that when your "estranged husband" shows up while you're talking with another guy it could hurt your chances with that guy. In deference to what might be in June's best interests I decided to beg off. Mary was concerned and tried to talk me out of it and then even got a little angry but I insisted and I left.

We did have one nice encounter that was not planned. I was having lunch with my cousin Ruth when June came in and waved. We asked her to join us and she did. It was the first time since that night that I had been totally comfortable in any conversation with June. Ruth was the cause however. Ruth has been far more like a sister and friend than a cousin and I had told her everything on the understanding that she would not tell any of it to our family just yet. If June and I were able to patch up our lives together it still might be difficult for some of my family to forgive her. Best they be left out of it, at least for now.

Ruth carried on about her kids and Johnny her husband. She made it clear to June that she knew we were having a bad time of it just now and said she hoped we would be able to work it out. I could tell that June was comfortable with Ruth as well. When we left Ruth said that she believed she could see the hurt in June's eyes and that to her, Ruth, it was clear that June had not forgiven herself for what had happened. Somehow I began to feel a glimmer of hope!

Very few people know my cell number so I was expecting it to be Carrie when it rand Saturday afternoon, or, I hoped briefly, June, but I was surprised to hear both Ralph and Mary on the line. They were on a speaker-phone and had decided to ask me, together, to join them for dinner. They assumed, correctly, that I wasn't up to returning to the old neighborhood just yet, so I was to join them at an upscale steakhouse not too far from my office. Mary and Ralph were a big part of my life and I needed something to fill the huge void with June missing from it, so I accepted.

I managed to find a suit, dress shirt and tie that didn't look like I had slept in them and after showering and dressing I managed to get there almost at the appointed time. When I was taken to their table, Ralph was there alone. He stood and held out his hand. I briefly considered refusing it but there were tears in his eyes and I just couldn't do it. He took my hand in both of his and shook it warmly.

"Mary has just gone to the ladies' room. She'll be back in a moment. Please sit down. Would you like a drink?"

I ordered a vodka martini and, as it was delivered to the table, Mary appeared from the hallway across the room. Mary is an attractive woman but decked out as she was just then, she was a knock-out, a black cocktail dress with a deep neckline showing some fine looking cleavage, short hem line, sheer stockings highlighting a spectacular pair of legs and spike heels. Wow!

"Mary, you look terrific. It's good to see you." I said as I stood to greet her.

"Thank you." She answered as she gave me a warm, extended hug then sat down beside her husband.

We made small talk for a while then Ralph said, "Jerry, we want to do all we can to help you and June get through this and get back together. Our problem is not knowing what to do. From everything you and June have told us, it looks like that's what you both want but something is in the way. What, if anything, can we do to help?"

"Thank you. Thank you both but I'm struggling with this and I want it to work too but I'm either not ready or not able to talk comfortably about it right now." I said knowing I was thinking, "Especially, Ralph, as it's your cock and your skills in bed I'm trying to compete with!"

They seemed to respect that and the pressure to open up eased. We began talking about a mutual interest in music and the soundtrack to a new musical that was just released.

"I just got that!" Ralph said, enthusiastically. "It's great. We'll be glad to lend it to you." He continued. The conversation continued about non-threatening issues and I began to get more comfortable with them and with that and my pleasant encounter with Ruth and June that afternoon, I began to feel better than I had for a while. It was strange though, sitting here with Ralph who not so long ago was one of my tormentors. . .further evidence that I was the problem.

Just after 8:30 Ralph said he had calls to return out to the west coast and that they would have to be going. I admit, I was disappointed but didn't want to say so. I thanked them sincerely for the dinner invitation, thanked them again when they re-iterated their offer to do anything they could to help, then shook Ralph's hand, this time with much more sincerity on my part. I enjoyed a long, warm embrace from Mary. At that moment I almost wished she and I had been getting it on. She looked great! I could feel the stirrings in my loins and once again, broke the contact before embarrassing myself or Mary. Her parting grin suggested I had been busted again.

Back at my apartment I undressed, pulled on a sweatshirt and jogging pants and nothing else. As if to add insult to injury, having continued visions of Mary at the dinner table, I was still sporting a pretty good erection. I tried to prolong the mellow feeling by mixing myself another large vodka martini, my third of the night. I had just settled down to enjoy it and see what was on the tube when someone knocked on the door.

It was Mary, if at all possible, looking even sexier than she had at dinner.

"Hi again! Ralph thought you'd still be awake and sent me over with this." She held up a CD of the musical we had been discussing. She handed it to me as she walked by, took off her shoes and went in to the living room. I decided to put on the CD and as I did I asked if she would like a drink. "Yes please. I'll have one of those if you can manage it." She said, pointing to my martini.

I made her the drink as we listened to the music. "Ralph was right. This is terrific!" I said.

Looking me straight in the eyes, she said, "Yeah! He is right . . . . sometimes."

I decided no response was appropriate.

"Is there any chance," she began, "that you might be able to talk to me about things more comfortably than with Ralph or both of us?"

I had felt better as our dinner conversation went on and had been disappointed when it ended but I answered, "Probably Mary. Maybe, when we have some more time."

"Ralph says he has a shitload of calls to make and I don't have any other pressing matters. Do you?"

As I sat there staring at Mary trying to formulate a response, I experienced a load of conflicting thoughts. I wanted to talk. Talking earlier had made me feel better. The idea of talking to Mary, as great as she was looking just then was a pleasant thought. I didn't want her or them to feel sorry for me. Mary is wearing the same outfit as she had to dinner and maybe I just didn't notice before, but she is definitely not wearing a bra now. I am sure that the top two buttons on the front of her dress were done up at dinner. They aren't now. This is beginning to look like a set up. Do I care?

Somehow, with a straight face and, at least initially with good intentions, I said, "Thanks Mary, I would like to talk. Are you sure it's O.K.?"

She smiled. "It's O.K."

It took me a while to get going but with the help of the martinis and Mary's caring and compassionate gaze, I began to spill out all my fears. I couldn't understand how June could have sex with Ralph while saying she loved me and not Ralph. If she liked sex with Ralph so much would she ever really be satisfied with me any more? And, after two more martinis, the clincher. . . . . I couldn't get it up anyway, so what does it all matter?

I was struggling not to do the complete job of making myself a fool and break down and cry. It must have been obvious to Mary because she moved over to the sofa and held me in her arms. It felt good and after a short while I had another struggle going on. Mary was holding my cheek against her chest, my face pointed to her right breast. Her neckline was pushed out revealing most of the braless tit. Trying not to do anything inappropriate, I looked down only to see that her dress had ridden up almost to the crotch and her legs were now bare. Finally, I straightened up and as I did she kept one arm around me and pulled my face to hers, her mouth finding mine, her tongue forcing its way past my lips. It felt so good, I went with it and when the kiss ended, I was looking into a very lovely, smiling face.

"That felt great!" I said. " And I think you're very, very sexy and desirable but I'm not really looking for revenge or to do anything to get back at them."

"Me neither." She said, but she didn't let go.

"I want to do this but I'm not sure I can. I don't want to embarrass you or me."

"Let's just keep going along and see what happens."

I kissed her again and this time put my arms around her. It felt exciting to hold a woman in my arms again and after kissing and duelling tongues for a while, I felt Mary's hand slip inside my sweatpants and gently take hold of my cock.

"I don't think anybody's going to be embarrassed about this!" she said as she stood pulling me up with her and leading me to the bedroom. When we got to the bed, she let go, turned to face me, then lifted the cocktail dress up and pulled it off over her head. Aside from the shoes, which she had left at the door, she wasn't wearing anything else but the very beautiful smile.

I pulled off the sweatshirt, kicked off the pants, took her hand as we both lay down on the bed. As we had earlier, we kissed for a long time. My hand eventually found its way to her breast and her hard extended nipples. I loved the feel of her moan of contentment as I stroked first one then the other breast. I kissed my way to her neck where I drew tiny circles with my tongue, then slowly dragged it across her shoulder and down to one breast which I kissed several times then took the nipple into my mouth and stroked it with my tongue. Some time later, I moved to the other breast where I repeated myself, my excitement being fuelled by her moans and the occasional quick intake of breath as I moved to a new sensitive place. I trailed my tongue down her chest to her stomach and twirled it in her navel. The intake of breath was emphatic as I moved across her groin and down to her pussy lips where I carefully stimulated all around and as "inside" as I could get before focussing on her clit which had become hard and prominent. Soon I felt her body shudder and heard groans that sounded like they had been forced out from down deep.

As she recovered from the orgasm, I "walked" on my hands and knees until my face was even with hers. She took my head in both hands and gently pulled it down to hers and kissed me, licking herself from my face. As I laid down on her, she spread her legs forcing me to reset inside them and her hand snaked down to my still hard cock and pulled it to her very wet pussy pulling me to her. I slipped in easily and in moments we began a rhythm that felt so wonderful I was determined to make it last. It was fantastic and although I have no idea how long it was, it seemed to go on for quite a while when I began to feel Mary pick up the pace. We quickly transformed to a heated "fuck", staring each other in the eyes as if in a competition to make the other cum first. It wasn't very long before I realized this was one I wasn't going to win. I was at that point where I knew I was about to cum and in an instant, I did. I no sooner felt that incredible rush of pleasure than I saw Mary's face grimace as if in pain then, this time with my whole body pressed against hers, I also felt her shudder and call out as she too came.

I lay beside her as we both came down from that magnificent high, our limbs still entangled. After a while she pulled the comforter up over us and more content than I had been in a long time, I fell asleep with her in my arms.

The dreams must have been pleasant, unlike most dreams these past few weeks. Whatever I was dreaming about, the feeling was exquisite, but I was trying to identify exactly what that feeling was when I came more fully awake and realized Mary was sucking my erect cock. I reached up to touch her but somehow without releasing my cock from her velvet mouth she pushed me back and had me lay there focussed on the sensations caused by her mouth and tongue and the vision of her bright red lips wrapped around my cock. I remember thinking how wonderful it was to wake up this way and how great it felt. I think Mary must have been rather experienced at this as she soon had me on the edge and warning her I was about to cum. Again she pushed me back and soon I did cum. She took it all without missing a beat and as I became flaccid she cleaned me off then kissed me letting me taste some of myself.

I reached out to stroke her but she firmly but gently pushed me away with that wonderful smile on her face.

"We need to talk."

Talking wasn't exactly what I had in mind just then but, in moments of sanity among the wonderful sessions of lust and passion, I knew this was coming.

Mary's beautiful face smiled down at me and she said with apparent sincerity, "You do love me, right?"

The look of shock on my face gave me away before I began literally to stutter, "Mary, I . . .I . . .think."

She burst out laughing in such a beautiful way I had to laugh myself.

"You don't love me at all. You love June don't you?"

I nodded.

"You just had sex with me but you know you love June. Are you sure you can't accept that June could have sex with Ralph and still love you?"

She had me there. I was struggling to point out that there was a difference but she beat me to it.

"They shouldn't have done what they did and June was terribly wrong to let you think Ralph was any better or even as good as you, but it was a mistake, a terrible one and perhaps the most important thing about making a mistake with someone you love, is forgiveness. You've forgiven her already. It will be a long time before she forgives herself."

I could only stare at this wonderful friend who was helping me do what I needed to do. "Get over myself!"

"I need to ask you something."

"Please do."

"Is there anything that I did or that happened last night that would make you think I was faking anything?"

"Either you're the best actress I ever knew or you weren't." I said trying hard not to appear boastful.

"I wasn't. Now keeping that in mind and adding the fact that I am married to Ralph and I love him a great deal, why would you really believe June might think more of him than you? You are a terrific lover! You really are, more than I expected, much more. You are different from Ralph. Not better or worse in a technical way, if any one can be technical about these things. Be careful and listen to ALL that I tell you. For me making love with Ralph is better than fucking you only because I love him. June does not love him. She loves you and I'm sure that even if Ralph had been all that good that night, she would still rather make love with you than fuck Ralph."