by Cassie201019
Omg, be still my beating heart, Adric is a fool, poor June, this is going to be so good.
Better editing needed, but I'll still give you five. I sense potential.
What a great start, I see this going so well is he keeps teasing her like that.
But you need to find an editor. There is potential there, but the lack of editing makes it hard to sink my teeth into your story.
that is so adorable, or is he just got one of those deals goin on with his buddies to get the shy girls knickers off?
It's a great story but could use some editing, better character discriptions and more back story.
You had minor errors and the chapters could stand to be a tab bit longer but other than that it was a nice chapter from start to finish. So enjoy the stars! And can't wait until the next installment
It's a great beginning. I can't wait for the next chapter. But definitely describe the characters in detail.
Needs to be edited. Lots of errors. You can find editors in this site. That being said the story is well written and engaging. However you have not provided a physical description of the characters.
Good job so far.
P.s ---- followed you here from pep's blog.
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i like the start of that, but as mentioned it could even be better with an editor. i didn't mind so much that there wasn't much description of how they looked, the emotions took over that part. would really like to see where you'll take this(from pep's blog as well ;-) )
i hope their is more to this story i really like the start of this story.
I like where this is heading! Plus June Bugg is a very cool name :-)
This story is so freakin cute. Please update!!! Please.................