Just Hanging Out

I could not keep myself from laughing. In fact, I was laughing so hard it almost hurt. I mean, this was fucking funny as shit!

And then, from just behind the basement door at the top of the stairs, a voice, "What's so funny down there?" Oh shit! It was my mother!

"Oh, I, uh, just banged my funny bone, yeah, my funny bone while getting out of these sweaty yard clothes, Mom." (I was, in fact, using my "funny bone" to "bang" Patty—a case of telling the truth, just not the WHOLE truth.) "I'm so nasty (again, so true) that I decided to undress down here instead of traipse through the house and leave a trail of dirt, grass, and sweat."

"Oh, you're so considerate. I appreciate that. Well, I just heard something down there and wanted to make sure everything was OK. The yard looks immaculate. I'm going to go take a bath now."

And with that, I listened to her footsteps tread across the kitchen and on to the other corner of the house, then the hot water pipe rattle as she turned on the bath water. Excellent. My mother takes extraordinarily long baths.

"Who was that?" asked Patty.

"My mother. She will not be joining us" I joked.

And with that I resumed pumping my fine country club manager. Checking over my shoulder again, I saw that the grounds crew had disappeared. I guess they had heard my mom and scrammed. Just as well. We'd had our fun, and, anyway, I was ready for a new position to take advantage of her front-loader status.

So I plucked the plungers off her buns, noticing the large, perfect circle marks they left, spun her around, and stuck my rod back in her from the front as she wrapped her dark legs around me and laced her fingers around the back of my neck. She was such a petite thing that I easily picked her up for a flying fuck. That's the thing I like about hundred-pounders like her. And she knew just how to get her weight centered on me for perfect balance, too, so I stood there for a while flying fucking her as we studied the pleasure in each other's faces when we weren't French-kissing.

I shuffled us to the other side of the basement, beneath the bright florescent light fixture hanging from the floor joists above and lowered her ass onto my heavy work table. Man, what a great-looking pussy she had! Her engorged , wet pussy lips would disappear on my in-stroke and then reappear on the out-stroke. When I wasn't looking at that super-pussy, my eyes would go to her priceless, this-is-good fucking expression, and then to her tits.

Patty enjoyed thrusting at just the perfect pace—not too fast and not too slow—and that rhythm was also the perfect one to make her excellent tits jounce for maximum visual pleasure: Up, jiggle, down, jiggle, up, jiggle, down, jiggle. We fucked like that for a good half hour, then I picked her up by the buns again to flying-fuck her some more when I heard the chrome adaptor I'd completely forgot was in her ass fall out and clunk to the floor.

Oh, yeah, her butt hole! Right there, on top of the work table was a can of lithium grease I used earlier to lubricate a squeaky hinge on my car door. Should I? Oh, why not. So I curled my middle finger in it and came out with a big hunk of the slippery stuff, showed it to her, and then reached around and slipped it right up her ass all the way up to my third knuckle.

She gasped with pleasure, so I stuck another finger in her bad hole as I vibrated the thumb of my other hand against her big, red clit. Shortly, Patty unlaced her hands from my neck, lay back on the table, grabbed her boobs, bit her lip, and came. And came. And came.

I love to watch a woman's face when she comes. There's no other expression even remotely like it, and Patty's was so incredibly intense.

But not so intense that she was unable to say, "I want your cock in my hot, horny ass." Now that's not being equivocal! I really like big pussies like hers, because those little tight ones aren't much to look at and simply make me squirt too soon, but the downside is that if I'm in a rather lengthy fuckfest—which this definitely was—then there comes a point when I'm just not going to ejaculate in such a loose, wet orifice.

That's when the good ol' anus comes in handy, and Patty was not just offering, but positively demanding, immediate rectal insertion.

Even so, my dick is WAY thicker than two fingers, so I pulled it out of her pussy and slathered a huge hunk of grease on it. Then, Patty raised back up into the flying fuck position, clamping her legs around my waist and arms around my neck, and force-fed me her tits, which I sucked and chewed hard, just like she liked, while I positioned Mr. Johnson on the entrance ramp to the Hershey Highway.

I was going to gradually ease it in, but she suddenly plunged her hips straight down, gulping all 7 inches of me ball-deep into her hot ass before freezing still but for her heavy breathing.

Though I was just short of shocked--pleasantly, of course--I was so glad she was holding my throbbing cock perfectly still inside her extremely narrow dirt road, for I would have certainly come on the very next stroke.

We were stuck together motionless like two statues for what seemed like an eternity before she finally started to move ever so subtly, eventually working up to long, slow, all-the-way-in, all-the-way-out thrusts. And when I say all the way out, I mean ALL the way out. At first I thought it was accidentally coming out until she said, "I love the feel of your cock's head sliding out past the rim of my pooper before it plunges back in to fill me completely up." Devine.

Adding to the great feel of her tight ass was the fact that her juicy, front-loader pussy, now bigger than ever from all the fucking, was smiling up at me. Man, I gotta tell you, if ever there was a better-looking twat, with its fat labia mushroomed out below a swollen, nearly thumb-sized clit, I'd certainly like to see it. I'm very flexible, and the notion of eating it while I butt-fucked her crossed my mind, but I'm not THAT flexible.

So I just continued to work her ass while my eyes roamed from her sex-contorted face to her superb, jiggling boobs and that super, probably-has-its-own-zip code pussy.

With my dick on doo-doo detail, and her pussy vacant, it occurred to me that something really should be in it. But what? There were all kinds of wrenches behind her on the peg board, but that was, by now, old hat. Hmmm. Needs to be something big, thick, and cock-like. I bent down and nibbled on her nipples while thumbing her nubbin as I tried to think of the perfect tool. She came again. How distracting!

My mind sifted through all the stuff stored out of sight in the basement. I remembered my deceased dad having some old-fashioned auto body repairing tools in a rusty toolbox on the floor. Inside it were a set of tools designed to hammer out dents in a car body. As difficult as it was, I pulled out of her butt to go take a look-see. Yep, there they were, all lined up in order.

They look kind of like chisels, flat on the hammering end, with an octagonal shaft, only the ends are rounded over very smooth smooth for shaping a curved piece of metal. The biggest one was really heavy and large, a good 3 inches in diameter. Perfect. I plucked it and a 2-incher out and came back over to Patty.

Eyes on the bigger one as she twiddled her clit, she said, "Now wait just a minute..." I pushed her back on the work table, steered her legs high into the air, and plunged my cock back in her well-greased ass. She seemed relieved. Then I pushed the bigger body tool into her gaping pussy. She gasped. It fit, although very tightly.

I resumed buttfucking her and managed to use my crotch against the flat end of the body tool to push it in on the in-stroke, and she squeezed it out on the out-stroke. Wow, what an incredible sensation! With that thick tool sliding in her cunt at the same time my cock went in her ass, it made her pooper even tighter. I bet my dad never imagined such a use for this tool! Then, again, it being so obviously phallic, he probably had!!! Like father, like son, they say.

Every time I was on the brink of cumming—and there were many--I somehow forced myself to choke back. She, on the other hand, seemed to be having one continuous orgasm punctuated by major climaxes I never bothered to count. The cumulative result was that I was simply not going to cum in her ass.

Sensing my predicament, or perhaps just desiring a change of pace, she nibbled on my ear and whispered, "Let me take the lead."

By this point, we were so hot down there in the humid July basement that we were both literally drenched in sweat. I would have given a hundred bucks for a cold beer. Hell, I had done most of the "work," and if she wanted to take charge, that was fine by me.

Patty knelt to the floor and carefully placed the larger body tool on it, so that it was pointed straight up, and lowered herself down on it until it disappeared into her pussy. Satisfied with its placement, she took the two-inch-thick one and poked it into her butt, trapping the flat end of it against the floor, as well. Then she reached into the can of lithium grease and thoroughly rubbed it onto her hands

She looked up at me, standing in front of her, smiled, and said, "I'm going to jack you off until you cum all over me." I had no objection to that superb plan. And so she took my dick into both hands and began, at first gripping me medium hard and jacking slow and progressively tightening her grip and increasing her speed.

As good of a fucker and sucker that she was, I believe this was her real forte. Appearing to veritably worship my cock, she used her small but strong and agile hands like a true penis masseur. And she knew just how to scrape those fingernails on just the right spot on my scrotum while she wanked and twirled the other hand on my shaft.

For variety, she would rare up to wrap her boobs around me for a nice titty-fuck. Incredibly, she could hold those big, heavy body tools inside her pussy and ass long enough for me to use the top of one foot to hold them in her orifi. Then when she lowered her butt back to the floor, I kept my foot there and rocked it on the ball to keep some action going for her. She would even occasionally rub my cock's sensitive underside against her chin and cheeks and nose. I'm sure she wanted to suck on it some more, but it was, after all, covered in petroleum grease, not to mention having dwelt in her ass for quite some time.

I finally decided to just relax and let 'er rip, so I affixed my gaze on her wonderful breasts, all shiny with grease, with the perfect up-turned swoop that terminated in hard points, and jiggling so fine from the motions of her arms.

And so I came. And did I ever, blasting a thick rope of cum onto those bobbling boobs before she leaned in to wank the next few squirts on her tongue, chin, and cheeks, then steering my pulsing cock down against first one then the other tit, continuing to milk me over and over as more man-juice bubbled out on to those satiny soft, slick boobs.

The sperm in her mouth lingered there for quite some time before she licked some more from her lips and swallowed with a gratifying "Yummmmm." She was sporting the biggest smile I've ever seen on a woman, and was obviously enjoying the accomplishment of making me cum as much as tasting and being covered in it. I don't think I had cum that much for that long since I was 25, so I'm sure my smile was at least as big as hers. I had shot but one salvo, but it was on a nuclear scale.

As she stood up, she let slide out from her orifi the two large body tools so carefully that they remained standing upright on the concrete floor. The zany notion that this could be some competitive event in a new reality show momentarily flashed through my head before it was replaced by the more aesthetic thought that they were like two exclamation points so representative of the afternoon.

She seemed in no hurry whatsoever to wipe away the whitish cum contrasting so dramatically against her fine brown body drenched in it, and it dribbled on down in rivulets across the broad expanse of Pussyland as she helped me wipe up all the tools and put them away.

I got some clean terrycloth car towels we used to clean each other up, but that lithium grease was stubborn. So, I scooped out a giant glob of Go-Jo onto our hands and we went to work on each other—I scrubbing her pussy, ass, tits, and she my balls and cock, which had refused to fully deflate and was now feeling frisky again with her talented hands rubbing the slippery hand cleaner all over. We were ready for chapter 2, but I mentioned something about her dog, and then it donned on her he'd been out there tied up in intense heat for a couple of hours now and was probably out of water.

So the dog would be the means of her departing as it had been the conduit for her greeting.

We finished cleaning up and wriggled the wet clothes back on our sweaty bodies. I checked to make sure the coast was clear before we quickly scurried across the kitchen and outside to the back steps. Unfastening the panting dog from the railing, now in the direct sun, she gave me a deep, lingering French kiss while reaching up the leg of those shorts to fondle my now rock-hard cock, saying, "Next time, we should do something really unusual, like do it in my bedroom where there's air conditioning!"

"Yeah, but it'll be BYOT—bring your own tools! Bye for now, Patty."

I watched her walk with the huge shepherd down the driveway, her nice round ass cheeks, barely covered by the cut-off short-shorts, bouncing with each step, just as I had seen her earlier. I could not take my eyes off her, so I continued to watch as she took a left at the sidewalk, enjoying even at this distance the look of her boob from the side view, it jiggling alluringly with each tug of the leash.

She continued on down towards her house and gave me one last smile and a cutesie wave before disappearing behind the magnolias.

I heard a leaf blower somewhere out of sight, which snapped me back to the unfinished task at hand of sharpening the mower blade. I squatted down on the blistering concrete to loosen the bolt. Strangely, it was tight as the hinges of hell despite the Liquid Wrench. Then I noticed the bright edges of the blade tips. Sombitch! Someone had sharpened the blade!!

Happy but thoroughly puzzled, I pondered what could have happened. I mean, Patty's dog was very intelligent and highly trained and all, but sharpening mower blades? I don't think so! And if someone else had come along (the infamous masked blade sharpener?) surely the German Shepherd would have barked like crazy, which we would have readily heard in the basement just a few yards away.

I just stared blankly into the distance trying to figure it all out. Then the leaf blower got louder, and from behind a magnolia tree emerged one of the country club's lawn crew. My new friend—one of the voyeurs! He smiled big, waved the same cutesie way Patty just had, and motioned behind him, summonsing the other two Mexican guys to join him.

I hollered for them to come on over, and they cut off the blower, and ran. Even though I was meeting them for the first time, it felt like a reunion of old buddies. The guy who'd first seen me and Patty in the basement, the one riding the mower, was the one who could speak a little broken English, and the first thing he said was, "You sure fuck Patty good with everything in cellar. So funny! She like all kind tools inside her, no? Patty is boss lady over here, our boss lady! She mean, very mean lady. Maybe she just need good fucking and be nice person now? So funny!!!" He and the other two just kept laughing and shaking my hand over and over and giving the thumbs up sign.

I got us all cold beers which led to more cold beers, and come to find out, THEY were the ones who sharpened my mower blade as a thank you for me doing sexually perverse things to the woman who routinely mistreated them. That explained the dog not barking, since it's familiar with them doing Patty's yard, as it's country club property.

Well, come to find out, they had voyeured her numerous times before when she was in her bedroom playing with herself as they quietly peeked from outside. They'd watched her shave her pussy bare, and though there was a definite language barrier, I gathered that she had a whole chest of sex toys of every shape, size, color, and description. Further, on another occasion, they had witnessed her on what they jokingly referred to as "el dia de fruta" in which she inserted into all holes all kinds of fruits and vegetables, including a giant plantain in her pussy and a big carrot in her ass while she sucked a cucumber. Hilarious!

Apparently, as many times as they had watched her, they'd never seen her with another man, or woman for that matter, only just Patty sticking all kinds of implements in herself. That's why they made all the hand motions at my basement window for me to try out various tools on her. Even so, they were most satisfied by the so-called real stuff—she sucking my real cock and me fucking her real pussy with it and playing with her real titties. So, they confirmed my gut feeling that was the first time she'd had actual sex in a long time.

I tried to describe the part of the show they missed (they booked when they saw my mother go by the kitchen window and said they tried to warn me she was coming) but that wasn't working so I invited them down into the basement and personally demonstrated to them all the other stuff, like where we were, what position we were in, and the tools used.

When they saw, and especially felt the weight of, that huge auto body tool, I've never seen men crack up so, and then when I showed the not quite as large one that I told them was simultaneously in her ass, they totally lost it.

So, on the same day, I'd had massive and great sex with a nearby petite front-loader cutie who loved to do almost anything, as well as made friends with three like-minded voyeurs who kindly sharpened my mower blade.

And to think it was all spawned by my just "hanging out."