All Comments on 'Karen: The Rewrite'

Much tighter and smooth version of the original plot, still missing a sequel.

It ended better than the last version.

The second version was by far the best. The final act was spontaneous and very entertaining. Keep it up!

I greatly prefered the rewrite to the original.. Keep up the good work.

I liked the second one better. This was a gift to both and I felt Matt deserved the chance. Besides, he was a virgin also.

Loved this one.

Much better than the first version of it

i loved the story it was a realy good one the only thing i did not like was the ending, they should have been toghether thats my point, other than that it was great thanks and more stories pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!!!!!!!!!

First version was good, but the second one was BETTER!!! Your brother deserved the "Cherry".

anatomy if you're going to write about cherry taking.

Good point. In my defense I would point out that it was written over seven years ago, and I've learned since then! One of these days, I'll rewrite it. One of these days ...

the rewrite completes the story. Version 1 left a big hole at the end this version fills it nicely. Excellent pace too not over too quickly yet not too tied up in itself. Thanks.

The rewrite is much better, the story needed this ending to make it sing!

The original was less to my liking, but I really enjoyed the rewrite. Thanks for a great story.

Utterly, totally loved the re-write. I had no problems with the first version you wrote. But on reading the re-write, I'd have to say I agree with those that said it made it 'sing'. It did. :)

~ R.

Much more satisfying because of the love. I hate just rutting and want both men and women to lose their virginity to someone they truly love. I want them to remember this beautiful event with shattering joy for the rest of their lives.

I definitely like the rewrite more than the original! This is the way it should be!

Definitely like the rewrite better!

this was a brilliant piece of writting, more polished than the original. the story is brilliant. but i must say i liked the original better, not because i don't like that they make love in this one (i like the powerful emotions displayed in most incest stories i read) but because something of that believability is lost, the reason it is so powerful emotionally is it is a taboo one i think most people will never even examine. kissing your brother is one thing, letting him put it in you is something else.

i am Kai Schipper not just another anon, i should probably just join this site.

have to be much stronger and less horny than the story indicated to stop at just oral sex, and I think he too. So, this is the rewrite that most asked for after the first read. I just skimmed through and probably didn't give the story its full due (did give it the 5 stars) because of that. It is worth another read some time in the future. I really like Alex's choice of situations and how they seem to lead naturally into sex. When it's the taboo kind, it is even more erotic. Thanks.

First: You described Dave as a bigger shit (blaming her for his premature ejaculation). 'The anger is strong in this one.'

Second: For someone who was incredibly horny, enough to seduce her own brother, it made sense she would want to fuck him.

I liked this one much better. Thank you for writing.

I did like this more than the original. Thanks for the rewrite. I'd be interested in hearing more about these characters.

... second one better although they're both good stories.

Herb

needed to have more sibling fucking

Two damn good stories but it seemed a little more believable when they both got naked and on the 'couch' that human nature would take over.

Nice job on both but... as above.

I haven't read the earlier version, but this was a very good story.

Just about the correct length and more importantly, you finished this one in the right place.

You do write a very good story !

the rewrite is better than the original, the brother should always get the cherry.

The second one cause the brother got her cherry.

Okay! Thanks for the rewrite! The old version got a three, but this one definitely deserves a FIVE!

One tiny detail that I absolutely loved was Matt popping her cherry bareback first, then putting the rubber on afterwards to finish the deed. I've read other stories where the guy is wearing the rubber before the initial penetration and it seemed to take away something special from the moment. Call me crazy, but it wasn't as intimate as your version. 5/5

Re-write is great. You have a gift for dialog and understandable descriptions of the intimate scenes.

You should write a multi chapter story about a brother and sister or step-siblings who become life partners. Most are just like this without getting into the complications of a life long partnering scenario...family and friends reaction or acceptance. There are some and a few are well done. Cousins isn't as a taboo subject many make it out to be as half the states in the US it's legal for cousins to marry, though family reaction to cousin coupling is an issue, regardless of what the law allows. My maternal grandparents were cousins.