by loveorlust
You have a good plot, but you need a proof reader to eliminate spelling errors and minor other flaws.
I just loved your story, but I do agree that it could use some proof-reading. The story was great, but when you have to re-read lines and paragraphs because the author merged two thoughts without finishing the first, it gets a little difficult to follow. Just wanted to bring that to your attention without insulting you or counting it against your score for the story. Keep writing, but re-read it or ask an editor to take a look at it before it is submitted. If you ASKED for an editor, then they need an editor too!
one of the worst most poorly written stories on the site way to many wrong words and extra words glad you never wrote any more.