All Comments on 'Last Night of Freedom Ch. 04'

Would love to see your ending to Occamspiledriver' s 'The Coward' or 'Clarence and Millie, an alternate ending'

I have often wondered if someone would come along and be a story finisher. Look forward to reading your stuff in the future.

Tremendous conclusion to a lousy tale. I gave a higher rating for this tale then all three previous chapters combined. Keep it up. Many tales need a proper ending.

Go for it!

Good little tale, i like your username too. Nothing more frustrating then unfinished stories.

Like Anon said, "A story finisher", there are way too many stories here that need a better ending. And yes, 'Clarence and Millie, Alternate Ending' is one of them. Very appropriate user name. I'm like the author in that regard. Wish I could write.

Pretty decent writing too. Thanks. Look forward to more of the same.

One thing I sense in your submissions is a rushed nature that leaves the story (chapter) short or shallow. This one in particular seemed hurried at the end. It is ironic that you have good ideas for finishing stories, in some cases you may leave the reader still feeling as though its unfinished. I'm glad there was resolution and justice but take some time to complete your ideas.

Thanks for the feedback, and suggestions for future stories! To tell the truth, there are so many I'm tempted to finish, I may never get around to half of them. Still, I've finished a few and they'll be rolling out in the next couple of weeks.

Some of them include stories by DamonX, Dakota North, razorlyt, fireballxl5.

I liked the ending comments by the spurned bride. Very apropos. She got exactly what she deserved. No guy deserves to be married to a woman willing to do what she did. And no woman willing to do that would be able to remain faithful in marriage.

It was ok, as it has some poorly developed plot lines. Hard to believe the groomsmen would act so callously then confess the next morning. I understand you needed a mechanism for him finding out, but another device would have been better.

If someone treats a guy that horridly and expects the whole bs of 'but I wasn't married yet' to cover it she needs some shock therapy. At the very least he's better offer knowing before tying the knot then trying to get loose after.

Thanks

Looking4it: Thank you for that feedback. These were some of the first continuations I've tried. The initial issues were so bad, I felt a simple resolution was in order. One of the stories I've submitted, is much more fleshed out, almost 5 pages. I'll be interested in seeing if that's better. I am working on two long responses, each multiple chapters. Kind of ambitious for me. I think the more ambiguous the initial author's problem is, the more likely it will take a longer response.

I know a few women who wound up single, or married late in life to men looking for second wives without kids. They never had families, no kids, nothing but their pathetic egos. By 50, these women are bitter, childless, old sluts who traded family for cock and bullshit.

So in your criteria for continuing another's story, no matter how long ago they stopped writing, do you ask permission? A lot of writers that I have seen continue someone else's story, has gotten permission from that writer, did you?

...for completing the story. I had a good time reading it. Please keep at it.

4*

Writing shows promise, only a few editing mistakes. The ending seemed abrupt and was not really credible. I doubt the three would have confessed right after screwing the bride-to-be. I also doubt Tom could beat all three up without at least physically showing signs of having just been in a fight -- what is he, Bruce Lee, that three against one won't be a problem?

Finally, a basically good man like Tom would have been a jumble of emotions after learning of his fiancé's disrespect (next to where he fell asleep!), fighting three former friends, then trying to deal with all of it. Improbable he would be cool as a cucumber until the saying of the vows. Still, it's good this slut got "exposed" for what she was, before she could saddle him with kids and then cheat. Thanks for writing.

As far as asking permission to end these unfinished stories. Most authors offer that in the epilogue. Others walk away from an unfinished story aware it will be finished off by someone else. Those who ask permission to finish Or continue a story usually do so for recent stories or still active authors. Keep them coming for us readers!

I didn't read the original story so for me this is a stand alone and it is well done. Why Harry would marry Jan is beyond me but it's your story.

You throw clichés at us that all BTB fans love. This is not good writing. It's plodding and predictable, but you can't go wrong with many readers as long as the husband is happy and the cheating wife is not. There is no imagination of skill demonstrated here.

"A lot of writers that I have seen continue someone else's story, has gotten permission from that writer, did you?"

He might have tried to contact the original author for permission, but if the author hasn't posted to this site in years then that person is probably a million miles gone and impossible to contact. I'll agree that this new author should make an attempt to contact the original author, and if that person responds and objects then skip that story. But in the case of someone like "SallyJam", whose profile was last updated in 2008, it is unlikely that that person would respond. I am glad this new author took it upon himself to update this story, and I encourage him to continue.

By the way, if you enjoy stories of this sort, be sure to check out "Wedding Day Blues" by Britease.

At least it was an ending. I've always wondered if there were any rules about finishing another Author's work? Because there are certainly a lot of stories that people leave unfinished. Can anyone pick a story and write an ending? I've seen a number of these "Finishes". People are either disgusted with the Author's ending or the Author has apparently stopped writing and someone finishes a story.

Too funny. Her ass would've cheated during the marriage.

Even though it took her a near decade to realize she was what she would always be, she still has not realized what love actually means and the sacrifices one must make to keep it alive. Her life now is a series of deep meaningless relationships where sex is the only reward balanced by deep loneliness for something of substance and purpose. The latter she will never experience until she is buried. A winner in life, no not even close.

The guy meets the girl of his dreams within 2 weeks of (rightly) running out on his wedding.

Can you BTB guys please keep it real, with something above playground revenge.

Love it when a slut still cannot fathom how destructive her actions are. She still is in denial. Well hope she can enjoy her slutiness well into 60's and the best part is she will be all alone. Just the opposite of what she said she wanted. Good job for Tom. He is due something much better.

I almost never read serials until they are done, and I can read reviews to ensure that I'm not wasting time on something that ends up going pro-slut/cheat/cuck. Too many authors think it is funny to do stuff like that, and either don't mention it up front, or worse, lead you to think it's a BTB story, when it's not. Pro-cheat/cuck/slut stories should be REQUIRED to state that up front.

About the comments on getting permission.

Prior to writing, I attempted to contact four different authors about continuing their stories. I use the 'contact' feature under their profile page. That was over a month ago. I didn't hear from any of them, but I did read a rumor that theCelt has passed away.

I didn't expect this much response or reaction to these little stories. I guess I was testing the waters, so to speak. I've gone ahead and initiated contact with another half dozen authors whose stories I'd like to continue. Some of them are active.

I've updated my profile to contain what my personal feeling are on continuing stories, and the rules I've set in place for my own peace of mind.

Hansbwl has graciously given me permission to continue his Does Honesty Pay? It is an open invitation story, but I contacted him and let him know the story was complete in case he was interested in reviewing it. I just finished submitting it.

Thank you for the feedback. (BTW, I did remove one comment. It was spam)

Love your finish

... to suit *your* endings, how about writing your own stories instead of taking over other peoples? Honestly, it's cheap as hell, and it's pretty clear that your entire gimmick is based on grabbing works that you admit you haven't been given permission to use, and altering them in ways you think they should have ended. Why even bother changing them? Why not write your own?

I say cheap, because your banking on someone ELSE'S success, taking their popular stories and making them your own. Except it's not your own, and it's a cop-out from actual story-writing, because you're doing nothing but filling in cheesecake endings that you know BTB audiences love. Even when they don't fit the story, as pointed out in the other one submitted today. In that stupid pro-wrestling shit, that's what they'd call a "cheap pop". You got yourself some applause, but you didn't do shit to earn it. It's not outright plagiarism, but it is plagiarism of a kind because you certainly did not take those works with permission.

In short, stop taking the lazy path. I know it's the easiest way to get the love of the BTB crowd, because writing full stories takes time, but at least you'll have the integrity to say *you* wrote this, and be able to take credit for your own work without looking like a liar.

Glad some one took the opportunity to clean up the unfinished work,

Thank you for your time and effort.

One suggestion Slow down on end. elaborate more..

Best regards

I am thankful another anonymous poster knew who the author of the story was that was all I could think of while I read this. The similarities are too great, with the slut bride nailing a number of men the night before the wedding, while proclaiming that she will be faithful once she's married, only to be castigated and left at the alter by the now-informed groom. And Britease is a better writer.

5***** for a sexual majority groom story. X_JohnDoe_X had (past time) a similar story.

Unfortunatelly x_JohnDoe_x withdrew his all stories from Lit and SOL alike.

Great ending to a shit original story.

I 100% approve of your plan to finish so many of Lit's unfinished tales :)

When someone tells a writer, "at least you'll have the integrity to say *you* wrote this, and be able to take credit for your own work" and it's signed Anonymous.

Thanks for finishing the rest of the story.

There is always some desperate loser who will marry the slut. I have seen this over and over again. Eventually they convince some sad sack to marry them, and it is the beginning of a living Hell for that guy. That is the reason Muslims stone these women to death.

smegma speaks from experience, a loser cuck through and through.

And a win!!

She turns out as another clueless hole with no sense -

I rated this 5 stars. The issue is commitment versus personal integrity. Although the drama at the altar of marriage was fun it was totally implausible. No man of integrity would embarrass a person in such a public manner. However, it was fun to read. Thank you for the entertainment.

Loved it. Want more!

Another very good ending...What I liked more? The the cheating whore didn't learnt nothing with what happened!!! And still thought: "I'm probably better off, right?"...The real problem will show when she no more is pretty and she become an alone and bitter woman.

I never liked the before marriage high jinks where the soon-to-be married went wild. A little foolishness, no sex, watch a naked woman jump out of the cake; that's all I will allow. Call me an old fuddy-duddy, that's how I feel. A woman that takes on all hands at her hen party should get just what this woman did, no marriage then and no marriage ever. Those that get married never succeed by staying faithful. If people want open marriages and freedom for debauchery right before the wedding that is their business but unless it is agreed ahead of time it should not be tolerated. Now, I am a perverted old man who was never faithful but I did not humiliate anyone purposely and tried to keep things hidden. I am not excusing myself but I do have SOME standards. As far as you following up on stories that cried for an ending (or a better ending) deserve accolades for what you do, thank you. Keep up the good work.

The ending was about right and, as usual, well written.

I'm reminded though of the expression, "you can put horseradish on a turd, but it's still a turd".

And yet is another story by FTDS that I like, haven't read one by this author that I haven't liked yet. I wade thru all the crap laden cuck/fag stories but am rewarded in the end by the work of this and a scant few other authors....and it's worth it.

the timing of the reveal was perfect

the sarcasm was spectacular

From the stories you read elsewhere it seems the world is populated wimpy cuckolded husbands and boyfriends.

“It's not like we were married.” – No, but you were engaged, on the night before your wedding! And even if not engaged, just being exclusive would preclude what you did!

“Nope. That was going to remain my little secret.” – What makes you think that the groomsmen are going to be able to keep that “little secret”? Looks like I was right on that one!

And as someone else said, she had been a "wild child", so why did she need "one last night of freedom"? She's had years of slutting it up before settling down.

Is a hen night the same as a bachelorette party? I didn't have a bachelorette party-- but if I did, my bachelorette party would've consisted of going out to dinner, a club or two, dance until my feet hurt & getting drunk off my ass with my besties. Getting felt up, getting a train run on me & Sucking a strippers dick wouldn't even come to mind. Why would any woman disrespect her body and future hubby like this? He dodged a bullet. He needs to get rid of them shitty friends also. The only reason the groomsman told him was because he was mad he didn't get all 3 holes like the rest of the guys. Poor guy needs a new chick and new friends.

but her life still goes on and on and on, TK U MLJ LV NV

Great ending for a common slut! Maybe the 3rd time she catches something it will be a gift that keeps on giving!!

Love these cheating fiance gets what she deserves stories. This is a good one.

" I mean, getting kissed, groped and felt up by a hundred men was one thing, even sucking a stripper's cock and swallowing was questionable, but typical for a hen night".

I used to work in a bar, that was in an area that seemed to become a mecca of sorts for stag/bachelor and hen/bachelorette parties. Sadly, what was described in this tale isn't as far fetched as you would think, but is in fact, all to common. It wasn't out of the norm to see not only brides to be, but even their married friends, having oral sex with strippers. A few even openly had sex with them. One girl laid out on the bar, and took on all comers. Needless to say, I handed in my resignation the next day. I heard the place was shut down by the cops six months later.

And it's not just the women either. The men were every bit as bad on their nights. Some would hire prostitutes off the street for the night! What kind of person does that? When they were getting married in the next few weeks?

My experiences working in that bar put me off not only working in bars, but made me question if I would ever want to even get married. I mean it was how they were so casual in what they would do, as if it was normal, that really got to me.

If I ever see a group that looks to be celebrating enter a bar where I'm drinking, I leave. I don't want to be reminded of those days.

Cheaters caught and punishment your forte

Keep it up

One of the best BTBs with this particular plot.

I've had similar experiences. I worked as a male stripper back in the day to help put myself through college. Something happens to women when you get them in a group and give them drinks. They become like wild animals. It usually starts with the single ones, who then encourage everyone else. It usually didn't take much persuading either. Strangely, if a lot of the women are related to each other, it's more likely to happen. Sisters and cousins cheer each other on, even fiancees pushing their mothers to cut loose. I've seen quite more than a few putting their wedding rings in their purses. And I had sex with more than a few brides to be and even married women. I thought it was great fun at the time, being a horny 21 year old, but as I've matured over the years, I look back with great regret and guilt.

I often wondered why so many women in a group did it. The bigger the group, and the more varied the ages, the more likely it was to happen. I suppose it's a herd mentality thing. If one cuts loose, she encourages everyone else, so she won't be the only one. If one or two suck the stripper, everyone else might tell, but if most of them do it, the guilt keeps them all quiet. Not saying that I was a naive kid. I definitely encouraged and sometimes instigated it. Not my proudest moments.

Thankfully someone fixed SleazyJam's ode to slutdom....

The slut got exactly what she deserved in public. Bravo!

Studies indicate that the "critical mass" in group/herd behavior is ~40%. So when 4 out of 10 engage in behavior, an additional 20% to 40% will join or become passive (not attempt to stop the behavior). So, it's not unsurprising for a bachelor or bachelorette party to get out of hand, especially when there's alcohol and no real supervision.

FTDS always makes a good finish!

So, does the remaining half of FTDS still publish here? I wonder who it is?

Slut got hers.

5/5

FTDS finished it for good!

5

Like to hear a little regret from that mouth!

RIGHT

A sad ending for a sad person. You reap what you sow!