by SEAWATER1
This is a really good start to what looks like could be a great story. I'll be watching for chapter 2
way to rushed this should have been spread out over weeks not 24 hours people need time to adjust to what is happening after he walked in on her no way she would have gone to his room maybe in a few days but not that night slow down and keep it believable from now on speed kills the story
From a cucumber to a dick would be different for a girl.. No lady has been able to rub one off on the first try.. Really too fast.. Making a girl cum. "the smell, the feeling, damn I came the first time I got a girl to cum!
you should have given more and better background and built up the characters and plot more. it may have been better to start with them as kids or with her first visit using this as chapter two or three. all in all a waste of time.