All Comments on 'Law of the Heart: Consequential...Ch. 01'

Well written with realistic emotions and motivations on the part of the husband. My only criticism is that you could have written the entire story in one go but thats just my impatience talking :)

Thanks for writing.

p.s. even if you are going for a twist in ch. 02, you didnt need to split the story up IMO. Twists work just as well when they are part of a single story as when they are split over chapters. Maybe better in that they seem to be more natural and less forced if you dont have to wait days or weeks for a 180 degree shift.

your story sucks just like the first queer that wrote it. fucking bunch of cry babies

chapters to this story. It was too short by far. Maybe the husband could pick an emotion and stay with it for a while. He was angry, then melancholy, now he's bawling his eyes out as he crosses the room. All this emotion in what; 100'?

While I am glad that you are taking HHT up on his offer to complete the story, I am a little sad that you did not finish your story, "Truth and Consequences," with the husband's rebuttal to the wife's letter.

Give us more at a time.

Thanks.

Why not try writing more than 3 lines at a time?

There is no prize for the most chapters to a story.

What an asshole!

Why not write your whole story and put it up as a whole story. Makes it soo much more enjoyable to read. I'm getting weary of all of the one page stories that takes weeks to get out. Or worse yet authors who start their stories like that and never complete it.

FireFox59

You made the chapter WAY too short. Essentially nothing happened, except that he walked up to the door, found it unlatched, stands in the living room, and then reminisces about the night before she left for Miami.

You split the story in the wrong place, and posted a nothing chapter. A better place to split would have been after he confronted her, at least it would have given us something to read.

Although I didn't like your last story, it was very well written and creative, so I eagerly await the next chapter.

I was really happy to see someone put in some new endings. But it started out fine but as one reader said it was nothing new except opening a door and reminicing. We already knew how they felt about each other. Also I agree that a story should be written so it can be read pretty much in it's entirety. Not just a chap. You can always add more ideas later for more chapters and other viewpoints. Still hoping for some new endings for this story.

Very well written and I am glad that the author is continuing HHT's story. I just would like to echo the other comments in that the story line should be developed to a greater extent. Chapters should be longer so that could be accomplished.

That said, I eagerly look forward to additional chapters to this tale.

A well done, well written story. I am really glad that the author decided to continue this tale by HHT - I think that it needed this. I would just like to ask the author to expand upon the future chapters so that the characters could be more well developed. I certainly hope that this couple doesn't end up with a swift and easy reconcilaition. Her betrayal should have serious consequences. While I would hope for a happy ending, it should come with a lot of anguish, time and angst.

In any event, kudoes to capecodmercury for providing another interesting and well written tale with a theme that certainly captures the imagination.

A well done, well written story. I am really glad that the author decided to continue this tale by HHT - I think that it needed this. I would just like to ask the author to expand upon the future chapters so that the characters could be more well developed. I certainly hope that this couple doesn't end up with a swift and easy reconcilaition. Her betrayal should have serious consequences. While I would hope for a happy ending, it should come with a lot of anguish, time and angst.

In any event, kudoes to capecodmercury for providing another interesting and well written tale with a theme that certainly captures the imagination.

i hope this has a great ending to me the other never really settled it ....he needs to get it all .... but doit with style ...been ok so far finish it

Folks, to answer comments on the chapter being short, please be patient. The entire story was written and submitted at the same time so I hope the other chapters will be posted soon.

I broke it into chapters because it is about two and half times as long as the first four chapters written by HHT. I could have submitted it as one story, but (at least from comments I have read on other stories), I would be getting the complaint that the story is too long.

This is the shortest chapter by far and I hope you will see why I chose to break it why I did. Forgive me for wanting to set up some anticipation and suspense.

I realize this is only the beginning, but so far this is the best continuation of this great story that I have read to date. The others were so awful that I had given up reading any more offerings. It has been a long time since I read the original ant it remains with me to this day, utterly heart wrenching and compelling. I can't wait to read the rest. As I have contemplated writing my own ending, I had thought that the hotel room would be the place I would make my confrontation. Glad I was not the only one to have that thought.

He's a highly effeminate man isn't he.

you are driving readers away not attracting more by releasing less.

Only laughable!!!

The bodies of a man identified as Juan Mendoza and an unnamed female, pending notification of her husband were discovered in a Miami hotel last night. Police say they have no suspects at this time.

You really are a wimp-ass yourself, aren't you??? Why is it these characters get torn up so emotionally they can't move, then they get angry,but....they won't do anything...rash....they have to think it through cause they don't want to go to jail?????!!!!! REALLY! Kick ass and kick the slut out!!!!

He should have entered the bed room giving them due time to get underway and when he did tell her not to come home but await to be served in due course.

So that's your great answer? He goes in wimpering like a sissy after filling his eyes with tears to get his ass kicked by her predator? Stupifying.

What are you people smoking?

Finaly its all only in his mind! She would have only made him jealously!!! Pathetic!!!

The whole story is about before she left, nothing about what he found in the room!

He is a pathetic wimp. The whole rant about not getting physical because, as a lawyer, he's seen what it did to other men, is just a plain cop-out.

Not in line with the original. Maybe you can recover, maybe.not.

needs to be finished,

Where is part 2?

Where is the rest of your "conclusion"

Apologies, just found the rest of your conclusion. I only gave 2 stars because I thought you had left us hanging. Would have been 4 if I had realised this wasn't finished. Sorry.

Again, don't like the crying. Just kick the door open and go in.

Stop stalling and finish the dam story. This was no effort.

Take pics and Fuck him and kick his ass. Throw the bitch away

Nice

Good start. Now get to the good part.

So you do an alternate ending with no ending?

Shit so far

Will read comments before starting second part

Ten million words and he still has not said anything worth saying.

What kind of fucking lame writer drops a stupid, irrelevant flashback right in the middle of a scene like this? Oh, I answered my own question. Find this in a published novel, and it's on the $.99 table!

Ugh this guy obviously lost his balls somewhere a long time ago 🙄 God get a grip or get a box of tissues 😂

Disappointing!

Your hero is a hopeless pussy.

Ok story and then you went into an overly long reminiscence that detracted from and took away from the tension,

"The last time I had heard that laugh was the night before Jill had left for Miami. Jill had spent the evening teasing me. At dinner, Jill had appeared wearing a mid length wrap around skirt which allowed her to show as much or as little leg as she desired. For a top, She wore a loose peasant blouse with a scoop neck and no bra. The neck of the blouse hung down whenever she leaned over allowing a view of her breasts to anyone standing or sitting in front of her.

The entire meal, Jill took every opportunity to tease. Whenever she got up from the table, she made sure to brush against me as she walked by. She insisted on serving me, smiling as she bent over at the waist giving me glimpses of her breasts nestled in her top. When she sat, Jill deliberately arranged her skirt to show off her soft silky legs all the way to the top of her gorgeous thighs. And under cover of the table, she ran her toes up and down my legs, all the while keeping up a steady conversation with Jake Jr. about his upcoming trip to Grandma's. It was maddening because I wanted nothing more than to throw her across the table and take her, but I could not respond because Jake Jr. was sitting at the table.

At the end of the meal, she snuck up behind me while I was clearing the table and gave me a big hug grinding her erect nipples into my back. With a soft throaty chuckle, she whispered in my ear that she had a surprise for me. When I asked her what it was, she told me that I would find out later. Then she smirked at me and told me that she wanted me thinking about what she had on under the skirt, if anything.

It was still an hour before Jake Jr.'s bedtime and she continued to tease. Although each glimpse was quick, she kept giving me flashes of her breasts and legs. My imagination was running wild as I tried to catch a glimpse all the way up her skirt, but even with all of her flashing and teasing, she managed to keep her crotch just barely hidden. I tried to grab her a few times to see what she had on under the skirt, but she kept pushing me away with a laugh telling me to wait.

Although she was forced to be subtle because of Jake Jr., she kept me on a slow boil. Her behavior was flirtatious, not overtly sexual. I knew that Jill was not a tease and that she did not promise what she did not intend to deliver. Her behavior promised that I was going to have a great time later that night.

Finally, she asked me if I would take care of getting Jake Jr. ready for bed because she had some things to take care of. I told her yes, and she whispered in my ear that she would be waiting for me in the bedroom.

I've never put my son to bed quicker than I did that night! Usually I love to read to Jake Jr., but that night, I couldn't wait for the end of the story.

A half-hour later, Jake Jr. was snug in his bed and I walked into our bedroom expecting to find Jill barely dressed in something naughty ready for a long lovemaking session. But, she surprised me again. She was sitting on the bed in a mini skirt and tank top waiting for me with her suitcase open on the dresser. When I reached for her, she pushed me away and told me that she needed my help to pack.

For the next half-hour Jill proceeded to model each outfit that she intended to take to the reunion. While the outfits themselves were not too outrageous or sexy, they showed off her body to perfection. Jill had always been the most beautiful woman in our school, and I could see that she had planned her wardrobe to let everyone know that, even with a child, she retained her title.

For her fashion show, Jill had set all her outfits up in the bathroom "I want to give you a private show." She had told me. For each outfit, Jill would come out and strut around showing me the outfit from all angles asking me whether I liked it. Then she would slowly take it off and place it in her suitcase. The result was a series of short, but sexy, strip teases as she packed.

With each outfit, she also modeled a set of sexy, but tasteful lingerie. Seeing her in it was enough to make me regret that I wasn't going with her, but I looked forward to her wearing it for me in the future.

She kept up her teasing. She kept her front hidden from me as she took off each set of lingerie. With a sly smile she would turn her back to me as she unfastened her bra, flashing me only an occasional glimpse of an erect nipple as she bent over to place each silky bra in the suitcase. Although I longed for her to turn around, I truly enjoyed the views of her taut panty clad ass as she bent over the suitcase to carefully arrange the clothing with her legs slightly spread. And her sexy banter was quickly driving me to a fever pitch. But, she was careful to never turn and give me a view of the sights I most wanted to see.

On a couple of occasions, I made an effort to caress Jill, but she was enjoying her teasing too much. She would give me her low sexy laugh and tell me to behave. I let her keep control as I could tell from her playing that she was in a mood that I didn't see as often as I would like. I knew that if I could just hang on, the rewards that I would receive would be well worth the wait.

For the last outfit, she came out is a sarong type skirt with a tight shirt cropped to show off her tight tanned stomach. She told me she was planning on wearing this outfit to the Friday night Luau. Jill had been working out for weeks in preparation for the reunion and had even gone to a tanning salon. I knew that she was looking good, but I wasn't prepared for how sexy she looked as she slowly peeled off the shirt and untied the sarong and let it drop to the ground. Under the outfit she was wearing a blue bikini.

The bikini was smaller than any bikini than I had ever seen her in before. The bottoms were thin and high cut on her hips and cupped her mound closely. The top was so small that it was almost a string top. It fully covered her shapely breasts, but was tight and I could see her erect nipples mounding the fabric.

She looked beautiful. With a small smile, she asked me whether the bikini was too daring and slowly took the top off giving me my first good look at her breasts since the show began as she bent to pick up the sarong and put it into the suitcase. She then laughed and turned her back and quickly skinned the bottoms off and threw them into the case as she ran into the bathroom telling me that there was one last item she wished to show me.

The finale to her teasing fashion show was a black baby doll negligee. The baby doll was so thin and translucent that her breasts were not hidden so much as highlighted. Her taut belly and ass could be clearly seen through the shadow of the silk. As she pirouetted to show off, it floated up to show that she also wore a black silk thong. On her feet, she wore a pair of stiletto heels that shaped her legs and ass to perfection. As she walked towards me as I sat on the bed, she laughed and told me that I had been a good boy and that it was time to unwrap my surprise.

At her words, I knelt at her feet and, almost reverently began to pull off the thong to get at the treasure that she had been teasing me with all night. As the panties slowly inched down her hips, I discovered her surprise. She had shaved herself completely for the first time in years.

At this discovery, I couldn't help myself and grabbed her by the hips and pulled her towards my mouth. As I ran my tongue up and down her slit, I found that her teasing had gotten her aroused as well. Her pussy was sopping wet and her delicious juices filled my mouth as I brought her to her first orgasm of the evening.

Her throaty laughter as she saw my reaction to her newly shaved state is a memory that burned itself into my heart. How I loved her at that moment. Her playful aggression and demands during the lovemaking that followed make that night one that will stand out in my mind for a long time.

Jill took charge of our sex that evening and controlled the pace and timing of our pleasure. She unfolded the evening slowly and spaced out the orgasms that we both enjoyed, never allowing either of us to rush our pleasure or collapse before the evening ended. At times our lovemaking was fast and frantic. More often, it was slow and languid. Intertwined with it all were delicious episodes when both she and I displayed our oral and manual talents. Finally, she pushed me onto my back and mounted me. As she slowly slid down my cock and brought her nipples to my lips, I could hear her delighted laughter as she rode me to final crashing climax."

You are in a room just outside a room where your wife is going to fuck another man and you are going to pause and reflect all that?? Give me a break.