Learning the Rules Ch. 05

Alexandra is in shock. The bright light behind her eye lids is gone. The exquisite sensation of pure pleasure no longer exists in her sex. The electric like tremors that flowed through her body are no more. She was so close and he stopped her. She doesn't know what to think.

I can't believe he just did that. I was so close to coming. Another few strokes and I would have been there. What the fuck was he thinking? Why the fuck would he do that? He can't be that cruel, that vindictive.

Jamison is still holding her hands and looking into her eyes. He has to wait until she comes down from her heightened state of arousal. As he holds her hands some of her sex juices drip onto his fingers. He can smell her scent from the juices coating her hands and now his. He wants to taste her sweetness so bad, but he can't. That will have to wait along with everything else he has planned. She has much to learn and this is just the beginning.

Alexandra comes back to baseline. Her eyes are moist with tears but she doesn't cry. She is too angry to cry right now. "Jamison, what were you thinking?" She practically sobs out the question. "Why did you do that? Why did you stop me from reaching my orgasm?"

He looks directly into her eyes and calmly states, "Let me see. First, I was thinking that when someone breaks a rule they shouldn't be rewarded with a gift, they should receive a punishment. Letting you orgasm would have been rewarding you with a gift. Denying you your orgasm was your punishment."

Jamison waits to see what if anything Alexandra's retort will be. When she remains silent he continues. "Then as to why I did it, the first answer still applies. In addition, you said you weren't excited and you weren't wet, so I figured you didn't really need to come. Even though we both know that you lied about that. As to why I stopped you, the first two answers fit, but also, I thought it only fitting to punish you for lying about being sexually excited by having you hold off your orgasm. Do you understand my reasons any better now?"

She looks at him in disbelief. Shaking her head at him, "You really are a piece of work. You spent all that time, talking me to in to an arousal, watching me every step of the way, by the looks of things getting excited yourself, only to deny me in the end."

Alexandra barely finishes the last sentence when tears start to flow from her. She is overloaded with multiple emotions. She is emotionally and sexually frustrated, she is mad, angry, and pissed off. The problem is she can't figure out if those feelings should be directed at herself or at Jamison. She knew the rules and she knew what would happen if she broke the rules. She just didn't know when or how it would happen. The truth is she doesn't want to look too closely for the answer because she fears what it may be.

As her tears begin to flow, her body begins to tremble. All of her emotions are hitting her at once and on barely four hours sleep she just isn't able to handle it all right now. "I have to look away from you. I can't look at you anymore. Please Jamison, let me look away."

"Alexandra you may break visual contact with me for now. But I won't allow it for long. You have one minute."

Alexandra turns her head as the tears start to fall. She tries to wipe them away but it is a losing battle. She's tempted to get up and leave the room but she already knows Jamison won't allow that.

Jamison senses her need to get away from him but it's not an option. Without hesitation, he lets go of her hands and crawls up behind her. Straddling his legs on both sides of her he pulls her back to rest on his chest. Alexandra tries to resist but Jamison just pulls her back a little harder until she is against him. He reaches for the sheet and blanket and pulls them up to cover them. Then he engulfs her in his arms and kisses the side of her head as he whispers to her. "You're ok Alexandra. It's all right. Everything will be ok. I've got you." He holds her close. She can no longer hold back the tears. As she cries he just keeps whispering reassurances to her. It takes a while but her crying calms and she brushes away the remaining tears from her eyes and face.

Alexandra rests her head back against Jamison's chest as she takes a few deep breaths in and out to calm her breathing. Once she regains control of her breathing Jamison starts to talk to her. "Are you ok? Are you able to talk to me about what you were just thinking and feeling?"

Alexandra takes a deep breath in, filling her lungs with much needed air. She slowly exhales and gives a big sigh. "Do I have a choice in the matter? Because if I do, then I would rather not talk about it." She turns her head back and looks up at Jamison.

"Sorry, but that doesn't answer either of my questions. I asked are you able to talk to me not do you want to talk to me. Those are two different things." In hopes of lifting some of the tension from between them, he bites at the lobe of her ear and tugs on it. "And yes, you always have a choice. I'm just hoping you make the right one. And no, just because you rather not talk about something doesn't mean we won't talk about it." He looks down at her face and gives her a quick kiss. "Now, are you ok?"

"Yes, I think so. I'm not happy, but I'm ok." Again Alexandra blows out a deep breath of air in order to relieve some of the pressure she feels is built up inside her.

"Good. It's good that you think you are ok, not that you are not happy. I can understand that you are not happy. Being denied orgasm doesn't make too many people I know happy." He laughs. "Of course there are a few people I know who enjoy it, but not many."

Alexandra looks at him in disbelief and then starts lightly laughing with him. "You would say something like that."

Jamison smiles, he is relieved to have lightened her mood. "Now what were the tears about? And please don't tell me you don't know." Jamison's voice is calm and his words are soft and smooth as he speaks to her. There isn't a hint of anger or disappointment in his voice and she doesn't understand why she is so surprised by that. He hasn't exhibited any anger or disappointment to her since they met. He has definitely been frustrated with her and by her, but not angry or disappointed. He is so even tempered it is a little scary sometimes.

Alexander takes a minute to put her thoughts together before answering. "I think they were mostly tears of frustration." She is trying to be honest with him, but also with herself.

"Frustration regarding what or should I say who?" He kisses the side of her head again and tightens his hold on her.

"That's more difficult to answer than you might think." She shakes her head. "I guess I'm frustrated with you for doing what you did to me." Alexandra hesitates before going on. She waits thinking he will say something to address her last comment but Jamison remains silent and she doesn't feel any change in his hold or touch. She continues. "I'm also just frustrated with all of the feelings that seem to be attacking me. I think because of the 'newness' of this situation and all of the emotions it seems to stir up in me, I'm a little overwhelmed by them. That only adds to my frustration because I'm not used to feeling this way. And then of course we have the sexual frustration, thank you very much for adding that one on to my list."

"Anything else?" Jamison is smiling at her and makes light of his response, but he is taking each word she says to him very seriously. He makes a mental note of not only what she says, but what she doesn't say. They will address each one as necessary.

"If you really want to know, I'm also a little mad, angry, and pissed off. Not necessarily in that order!" She looks back up at him to see if she can get a read on his reaction to her words. Again, no surprise, he remains calm and neutral in his affect.

"Ok. I hear you. Can you elaborate a little on who or what you are mad, angry, and pissed off at?" Jamison pulls her closer to his chest and rubs his hands up and down the sides of her arms. Then he pulls his legs in closer so that there is no room between her legs and his. They are rubbing up against each other and she is fully encircled in his body.

How can I be mad, angry, and pissed off with a man who has only been truthful and straight forward with me. He fully informed me about the rules. He told me what he expected and what would happen if the rules were not followed. I agreed to the twenty-four hour bargain and all it entailed. He just held true to his word and our agreement. Can I really direct any of my feelings at him? Or is that just easier than taking responsibility for my own decisions and actions? Or is that what he is waiting for me to realize? Son of a bitch, it is. He is waiting for me to realize that I brought this all on myself because I didn't answer his questions truthfully. I failed to follow rule number one. Because I was too stubborn to admit that I was turned on by him. Damn him. Damn me. Damn he is good at this, maybe too good. Well, I can place the blame on him for not reaching orgasm. Or will he explain that away as part of the punishment for lying. Damn is there any way I can win in this discussion?

"You're taking rather a long time to answer Alexandra. Did you figure something out or are you trying to put your thoughts together?" He is smiling and there is a hint of laughter in his voice.

Alexandra hears the laughter in his voice and she is aware that he knows what conclusion she has come to. Now, does she maintain her stubborn streak which got her into this mess in the first place or does she swallow her pride and admit the error of her ways. An idea comes to her and she likes it. She is going to go with it and see if Jamison has a sense of humor.

Alexandra sits up and starts coughing. She coughs and doesn't stop. Jamison looks concerned. "Are you all right Alexandra? What's wrong?"

"Water." She says hoarsely. "I need a drink of water."

Jamison reaches for the pitcher of water on the bedside table and pours her a glass. She drinks the glass of water and clears her throat.

"What happened? What were you choking on?" He takes the glass from her hand and places it back on the table. Holding her hands he asks with a voice full of concern, "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm ok." She nods at him.

"What made you choke?" There is a look of concern and worry on his face.

"I think I was choking on my own stubbornness. I think I was choking on my own words. I think I might have been choking on rule number one." She looks at him and smiles as she gently caresses the frown from his brow and strokes her hand down his cheek. Her fingers gently trace his lips. "Is that what you were waiting to hear me say?" She smiles as she looks into his face and sees his amused look replace the one of concern it just held.

"Well, I will admit, I was hoping you would come to that conclusion. But I wasn't sure you would be willing to admit it out loud. When did the light go on for you?"

"When you asked me to elaborate on being mad, angry and pissed off. Every time I tried to place the blame on you, my stupid conscience wouldn't let me. My own head kept pointing the blame back to me and to my failure of following your rule number one. I realized if I just swallowed my stubborn pride and told you the truth in the first place, this all could have been avoided."

"So, I guess we have a lesson learned." He looks at her and smiles. "Are you ready for part two of your punishment?" He looks at her with his brow raised and a facial expression informing her to choose her words wisely.

"Part two? Why do I have a second punishment?" She looks heartbroken by his words.

"Denying you orgasm was punishment for your lies about being excited and wet. That was a fitting punishment for the infraction. Part two's punishment needs to address your disrespectful manner and poorly chosen words." He says in a straight forward manner. "Be glad I'm not adding additional punishments for the challenges you continuously threw at me. Are you ready?" He is looking down at her and watching her think it over.

He is slightly worried that this may be too much for her at this stage. She may say no and pull out of the bargain. Jamison is aware that he could not only lose what's left of their twenty-four hours, but he could lose Alexandra forever. He carefully watches her face as multiple thoughts and emotions register across it. Finally, he sees she has come to her decision. Holding his breath, he waits for her answer.

Alexandra turns her head up to look into Jamison's face and focuses on his eyes. "I guess there is no way out of this, is there?" Her quiet voice is trying to measure his intent while still trying to bargain for an out. She bites on the inner side of her cheek waiting for his response.

"We talked about this earlier Alexandra. There is always a way out. You always have a choice. A simple 'No' from you is all it takes and that will be your way out." He looks directly into her eyes but he makes sure that she knows she has to take the out. He will not give it to her. The choice has to be hers. Jamison remains neutral as he looks at her. He won't put any undue pressure on her one way or the other. But that doesn't change the painful feeling in his gut as he prays she doesn't say no.

"A 'No' will put an end to everything though won't it? A 'No' now just won't be for this punishment, it will be for everything. The punishment, the twenty-four hour bargain, and the ...the...the possibilities of a next time, it will be a 'No' for all of that and possibly more." She looks to him for an answer.

"A 'No' now would mean you don't trust me enough to know that at this point I wouldn't give you more than I thought you could handle. I will never give you more than I believe you are capable of handling. I already promised you, more than once, that I won't push you to soon, I won't hurt you, and that I would explain everything before I did it. I have been true to my word, true to my promise. So yes, Alexandra, a 'No' now would put an end to everything. But don't let that influence you. You either trust me or you don't. That is the question you have to answer. That is the only question that matters right now."

Jamison's face is neutral, but his eyes are hiding worry. I hate the fact that she may say no. I really hate the fact that she may not trust me not to hurt her. But I have told her, promised her, and shown her that she can trust me. If she can't trust me at this introductory level, she never will. After last night and this morning, if she doesn't have even the beginnings of trust in me, a no is the best answer. It's better to end it early if that is what she wants before either one of us gets too involved. Ok, so I may be a little more involved than she is, but I had more time to know her. It has to be her decision.

"Jamison is it ok if I ask you a question?"

"Yes. But Alexandra, that will not always be the case. I will not always allow you a question. You both trust me and do as I say or you don't. I will give you this lead way because of your lack of knowledge and inexperience. Know that if you choose to continue with me a time will come when that will not be the case. It will be all or none. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"Yes Jamison I do. I just wanted to ask how bad this punishment will be." She says quietly.

"Only you can decide how bad something is to you. Only you can determine how something feels or makes you feel. I can only help you to experience it and to understand it better, to understand yourself a little better. I can only help you to expand your knowledge and experiences. But as I said, the important question here is do you trust me? Do you trust me to do those things?"

Alexandra sighs and looking into Jamison's eyes she quietly answers him. "Yes Jamison, I trust you. I know you won't hurt me in the sense of truly hurt me. And Yes, I'm ready for my punishment."

The relief Jamison feels as she tells him this is without description. His heart beats again, he can take a breath, and the pain in his gut subsides. Relief and happiness are carried in his blood and flow through his body. But being well versed in controlling his emotions, he remains neutral on the outside.

"Are you sure?" He needs her to confirm her decision to be sure for himself.

"Yes Jamison. I'm sure." Alexandra is not purposefully posturing for him but during their discussion she has moved and is now in a submissive pose. She is on her knees with her buttocks resting back on her calves. Her arms are at her sides and her hands are resting flat against the bed. As she spoke, she was looking at Jamison, but now that she has finished, she holds her head in a slightly downward position contemplating what will come next.

The sight of her in this pose has a major effect on Jamison. He is in awe of her beauty and grace in this position. He knows she can't possibly be aware of how she has positioned herself. She isn't even aware of submissive poses. But her lack of awareness doesn't influence the affect it has on him.

Jamison reaches down and strokes the side of her face. His hand comes to rest under her chin and he lifts it slightly. Gently he strokes his thumb across her lips. "I'm glad you decided in our favor. I promise the punishment will be entry level and you will be able to deal with any pain it causes you. If at any time you feel you can't deal with it, you just need to use your safe words. Do you remember your safe words?"

"Yes." She nods.

"I need to hear you say them Alexandra. I need to know that you are aware and clear on what they are and how they work. I need you to tell me." Jamison continues to stroke her cheek and gives her a look of encouragement.

"Ok Jamison. My safe words are my name. All I have to say is Alexandra Newman and that will stop anything that we are doing. If I say my safe words, you will stop no matter what and you will not be mad or angry with me." She repeats the last part more to reassure herself and to get Jamison's agreement. He agreed last night and she has no doubt that he will still be in agreement.

"That was good Alexandra. You're right. If you say your safe words whatever we are doing will stop immediately and I will not be mad or angry. Are you ready now?"

"Yes." With that Jamison leans down and gently kisses her lips. It's a quick and gentle kiss but it is enough to reassure Alexandra and to calm her down a notch or two.

"Good. Now, I want you to come off the bed and stand here beside it."

Alexandra does as Jamison instructs her. As he walks over to the bedside table she watches his every move.

"Alexandra look straight ahead." His command voice is in full force and Alexandra follows immediately.

Jamison returns to the bed and tucks something under the pillows. He sits on the edge of the bed with Alexandra standing just to his right side. "Alexandra move close so that your legs are against my thighs." Alexandra does so.

"When I tell you to 'take your position', I want you to bend over so that your pretty ass is over my lap and your torso is resting here on the bed. Do you understand what I want?"

"Yes." Alexandra can't help the tremor in her voice just as she can't help the butterflies in her stomach. Her legs are a little shaky but she won't have to worry about that soon.

Jamison's voice is firm and strong as he commands Alexandra. "Take your position."

Without delay, Alexandra finds herself positioning her ass over Jamison's lap and lying face down with her torso exactly where Jamison placed his hand.

"Good. Now, turn your head to face me." Alexandra follows Jamison's command.

"Place your cheek flat against the bed." Again she does as told.

"Stretch your arms out flat in front of you, palms down." Immediately she does so.