by StangStar06
Once a year, readers should be allowed to rate a story ten stars. This story deserves a 10.
I like the fact that you've changed the point of view in this one. It made for a better story and added some much needed humor. Let's face it, even us who have gone through these nasty divorces and trauma; need a good laugh every now and again.
Myhands316
Their were lots of ups and downs, and some neat head fakes, keeping us unsure about Ms Abra's intentions for some time... I like you better and better, stang.
Whew. . Just when I thought that maybe you had run out of ideas and then this masterpiece came along.
" he fell down and broke his coccyx " - ROFL :-D
The change of POV to the daughter is refreshingly wonderfull .
Ive been wracking my brains but i just cant figure out which story has the car crash scene .
By the way , how is alleycat related to this story ?
All-in-all , a greatly amusing and gripping tale and eaisily one among your best . It deserves 15 stars . Keep up the excellent work .
When Millburn Drysdale was introduced, I bailed.
Not only is the story just as bad as the author's other works, the idiot can't even think of original names. For some reason, he thinks it's clever to appropriate names from literature and popular culture. It's not. It's called laziness and plagiarism.
God, this is awful.
Stang, you are one of my favorite authors. I look forward to your story each week. Again you have done yourself proud. Im glad that the daughter stood up and let it be known that she would not tolerate her father being hurt or her mothers actions. More kids need to do this when one of the parents are hurting the other. Thank you for a wonderful story, and keep on writing.
Your best story in a long while! When cheaters screw themselves over it feels like there's some semblance of balance in the world.
I always look forward to your stories and this one was a fun read.
Thanks!
Just the names alone kept my interest...lol. Kit Carson, Melinda Carson, Helena (Troy) Abra, Russell Eddington, Coach Kleats...LMAO. True Genius! Always looking forward to your stories...lol
How do you do it every week? I always enjoy your work. I'm a big fan. I never paid attention to the words to that song before now.
you keep telling the same story, over and over again. Even the characters don't really change. Sorry because, even though it's written so well, I just can't see any reason to give it any more than 3*
I don't know how StarStang and MOTB do it, but we have here yet another clever and well-told story. Perfectly paced. Excellent character development - the daughter and second wife are SO cool! Not only that, the psycho first wife gets an appropriate "ever after".
Take a break get a few new ideas your stories are beginning to become like a cracked gramophone record, Playing the same line again and again
Your public is here in LW - but this reads as a Romance.
The moderators should consider dual listing - not a big deal, just have it show up in both lists. The voting could be kept seperate as well - you would get much higher scores in Rom.
I was amused by the muscle-car-for-girls concept, as well as the description of the female lead as a reflection of your wife. Using the daughter as a protagonist has been done before (I am reminded of twin daughters high fiving each other), and I will add that the "voice" of the daughter didn't sound female to me - it was, I think, the focus on anger and revenge rather than hurt.. which may be stereotypical, but there it is. The "wanna grow up to be a lawyer" cover for the POV of the daughter was a good save on the voice, but you can only use that one a few times.
I believe the source story of the car crash scene had the organ bitten but not severed - there are reasons why not severed is probably a better story line, as being grotesque generally detracts from a serious story. You can have the guy lose function due to nerve damage, and make the same plot point.
Again, your productivity is notable. Thanks.
Green-something
Excellent read. I absolutely loved Melinda; although I do wish she she told her father about catching her mom fucking her boss. But I also get why she didn't tell him . Any woman who would conspire to have her husband bang another woman isn't meant to be married, the wife had no intentions of ever stopping her affair, if she truly did she would've told her husband the truth, she would've tried to work hard to make it up to him; but she assumed that all she had to do was spread her legs for Jim & she would be redeemed, why is it that all cheating sluts think like this? Why do they all have this fuck'd up mindset that he loves me too much to divorce me for something so silly such as a little fling--all I have to do is give him some pussy & everything will be ok. WTF?! Enjoyed this story, I'm glad no one died not even the gutter slut. I can't wait for next weeks masterpiece . Awesome job as usual...
I can't point the exact similarities but this felt a lot like Cobraxicodone - husband being clueless and taken care of and by the vindictive daughter , who is out to destroy the faithless whore of a mother who shall soon be replaced by another of Aphrodite's faithful.
The amusing focus of this 'tres' readable story was the intelligence of Melinda. She had a point of view way beyond her age but SS fit her in well. Her adventures might well be be the beginning of a particularly amusing serial. Think about it, SS. She (you) was (were) fun.
enjoyed the story. Easy to read and fun too.
Challenger Guy
comes wisdom beyond reaonings, instead of Bloopers, TK U MLJ LV NV
especially Little Becky Thatcher. Good story. TK U MLJ LV NV
I liked the way you told this story from the perspective of the daughter. It's kind of refreshing to see one of these told from the perspective of someone not directly in the marriage that's failing / failed. The protagonist is very likeable, as well as most of the characters. The villains are likeable in that you can love to hate them. Good story, thanks for sharing.
I always enjoy your stories. Keep it up and cant wait until the next won!!!
I think Eddington's insurance would have paid out the wazoo for the facial damage and all. Besides that minor point I loved it. 5 stars.
Written from a different POV. Very good! Virtually no structure, tenses, or spelling issues. You are venturing away from standardized characters. Melinda was great. Keep moving forward.
Outstanding storyline. (Probably in the wrong category; perhaps more appropriately in Drama.) Excellent plot, and certainly uncommon. On a 5-scale, this is around a 7 rating.
You've written some good ones, but I believe this was the best of all.
I gave it the full five stars and a spot on my favorites list.
The plot was in the same vein as corbraxicodone but this was a much better story. I loved the characters, the plot , the pacing, and everything else. For the person who asked what this story had to do with Stang's wife. I'm one of those perverts who downloaded her pic before she took it down and if you read his description of the character Helana Troy (lol) she looks exactly like mrs Stang. And AlleyKats real name is Helen. All in all this is my favorite Stang story since Fur and I'm a fan.
I very much enjoyed how you crafted this piece. Written from a first person perspective but as a third person narrative. Your storytelling was entertaining. While their was no one dying this week, there still was a lot of blood. :) Thank you!
I keep saying that but I keep reading yours. There was so much going
On here that I couldn't stop reading it. The wife biting the pricipal's
dick off was hilarious - the gym teacher breaking his coccyx - what is
A coccyx anyway? But the coolest thing you did is something that some
Of your peers will probably try. This is the first story I read where the
Husband doesn't pay the alimony the cheaters had to pay the alimony
I wish that could really happen
Is that really the way you see me? You know I love everything you
write. But I loved this one. And the reason this is my favorite
song is because it reminds me of you. Thanks to you too MTB
I still think it's totally romantic that your wife comments on your stories and is clearly your biggest fan. And yes, Mrs. Stang, (okay, AlleyKat, Helen of Troy, fill in the blank) real men in love DO see you that way. Well, I don't see you that way, but...my Helen of Troy is named Irina, so I know the part about how we see you. Not to sound mean, but you can't compete with my Irina, any more than my Irina can compete with YOU--in his eyes. See? Simple. True love's like that.
This was a stang star special and I loved the daughter,especially the daughter finding out mom wasn't just a slut but also a raving hyopocrite,and I think that is why she is really pissed at her. To hell with the trolls I love the references,even if I don't always get them....You should think.of writing further tales of melinda,could prob do them in any category,romance,science fiction,world of possibilities for a great character:)
I'm suprised you didn't use the name Ellie May Clampett and reference the Double Barreled Slingshot......
Excellent story, and beats the hell out of anything word narcissist DQS has ever written IMO.
I thought every angle in LW has been covered, but you came up with some creative new ones.
There's someone who lives near me who has a bright yellow Mustang. Coolest car ever.
Well done with the daughter taking the long view in this story. No just "nuking" everyone (wife, cheater principle, kids, etc.) hard to write a win-win tale . Author again bags the 5 stars with a fine story.
Thank you for not going down that path; I was sure when she started going on about how hot and toned she was now, this was going to be another pseudo incest story where the kid turns out not to be the real daughter and fucks her former "father". That's always creepy and really belongs in a category of its own. Thanks for not going there!
As for the lol, that's for the whole spiel about child support, I'm guessing Melinda's supposed to be ignorant of divorce law because it doesn't really work that way. She's eighteen, and there's not going to be a custody issue at all because she's legally an adult. Same goes for the child support; some states such as Denver indicate child support through 19 y/o, but in normal circumstances no parent would ever be obligated to pay for an adult child's entire college education. They're not required to in the first place - it's a burden many parents choose to take on for their child, but given Melinda and Theresa's relationship, not gonna happen.
Minor glitch and easily suspended on the disbelief front. FIve stars. Nice to see a father who is flawed enough as a human being to be a little dim, without immediately resorting to the genius mastermind/action hero fallbacks or a child who functions as the same.
Your Mustang driving lead male character is an easy-going clueless nice guy and your protagonist is a strong (masculine?) woman. In my recollection, these are both firsts for you. You even introduce a second strong woman to protect daddy. Of course, the cheating wife is still the dumb blond, as in all your stories. You do keep it interesting.
It seems any subject matter is handled extremely well by you.
I look forward to your stories each and every week, do you really need vacations, just kidding.
I started reading your stories about two years ago, and found them to be lively, and well written. Thanks
I've enjoyed your stories since I stumbled upon them. I have to say that I really like this one. I especially like the change in point of view. I haven't seen it done that well before. I'd like to see more like that when you are able to conjure them up. Well done and I'll be waiting for next weeks story.
You're ruining my sleep! When I start reading one of your stories, I can't stop until I get to the end.
And each one is better than the previous one. Keep up the great work!
This child narrator is incredulous! After catching her mother cheating on her father this young woman determines to break up her parent’s marriage and deposit her father in the arms of another of her choosing. How fitting that this creature has as her life’s goal to become a lawyer.
As my grandmother used to warn me when growing up, “stay out of grown folks’ business child.” This child certainly does not know her place. While her mother was wrong to cheat, the contract she had was with her father…not with her.
This girl was loved by her mother, raised and nurtured by her and then so coldly rejects her mother. While disappointment in one’s parent is a fact of becoming an adult this child takes this to an uncomfortable level. The child determines that she should interject herself in her parent’s relationship.
While the author alerted us at the beginning that this story would not offer the same carnage he is known for, I think that with this story I would be happy if someone ‘wacked’ this devil’s spawn of a daughter.
I consider many of your stories classics. Put this one on that shelf right next to the other classics you have as it deserves it.
Witty, some romance, pain for the cheaters, the POV from daughter is priceless, the innovative solution at the end, and just good characters acting out their parts in the great play you have created. Keep writing, I look forward to the next one.
MTB, I'm not sure how you keep up with all that Stang writes and I understand you edit stories for others too. Awesome job as always. The growth from his first story to this one I put on your shoulders. Kudos!
Great story and finally a lot of other readers agree with me, again.
Thanks for sharing on Lit.
Oh and Helena, sound almost as nice as your sweet wife.
x
I need to make sure that when I find a woman for myself and we have a girl to treat that child with as much love and devotion as I can. I want my daughter to treat me as well as this one did hers ^_^
Same old, same old, give writing a break for a while and come back fresh, you're stories are just getting boring because they're basically the same. 2*
LOL, I immediately caught the Helen of Troy reference, but none of the others (also, Abra, is that a reference to something?).
You've portrayed the dad as an easygoing guy, but at one point he didn't become just easygoing, but as having no opinion of his own. The scene I'm pointing to is the one where Helen convinces him to see his wife in the hospital (and not go in angry). The other is Kit telling him how to handle his divorce. He even objects, but she overrides him.
Now, I'm not saying that the solution Kit came up with, was bad (infact it was great), but it very much seems like dear old dad will go along with anything someone ELSE does and wants.
Aside from his car obsession, he's like a blank slate, to be filled in by others on how he should feel and act.
He's not allowed to get angry at his wife in the hospital? OK, he won't.
He's not allowed to get his pound of flesh from the cheaters? OK, he won't. I know that the solution Kit came up with was the best, but he could at least have given SOME thought on how to proceed, instead of just following her directions.
As good a guy as he is, dad doesn't have much of an opinion on, well, anything.
It's quite a Something to have acquired 58 (now 59) comments in a matter of hours.
Cheers and Thanks,
Kilroy
This was freakin' AWESOME!
I admit, I almost stopped reading sometime during the first few paragraphs as I didn't think it was what I was looking for in a reading selection. I can't even begin to describe how glad I am that I kept reading.
Now I just have to figure out it whether I'm going to be discouraged because I'll never be this good or take it as a challenge and maybe become a little better writer even if I won't be this good.
A full page to describe a character? lol
I enjoyed it as usual even with the impossibly intelligent 18 yo. Have you worked or been around teenagers lately? ;o)
Looking forward to the next one.
Ha ha Coach Kleats...as in the kleats on your football shoes, loved it Thanks!
@ If the story plot match well with one of the characters' FICTIOUSE death (murder, accident, illness or suicide) we readers follow you (writers) into your story threads. If it does not fit well with the story we (readers) are angry as with Katmai's last story.
Melinda is sympathetic for me but Stacy from Vulcez and Jennifer from thecelt are more sympathetic, but she got the third place................
This story is pretty good but it's not great. Wat really hurts this story is that the teenage daughter is just too unbelievable and t0o over the top.
The super smart amazingly adult like actions of the teenage daughter were believable up to a point. But when the story reach the divorce and settlement phase and the solution was proposed by the teenage daughter ideas had to say.... no fucking way.
When the daughter discovers her mom screwing the principle she makes the bad decision not to tell her father that she loves so much. WHY the daughter makes this decision we don't exactly know and the author never explains it.
And when the daughter decides in her own teenage fantasy like Grasp of reality to manipulate the situation so that her dad and the beautiful science teacher get together and start to develop some sort of emotional connection... OK I can see that happening.
But then of course events intervene which the super smart brilliant daughter did not anticipate -- the traffic accident involving the mother / wife and the school principle. Not even the super smart and brilliant teenage daughter could anticipate how reality would intervene and disrupt her fantasy plans.
Up to this Point I'm OK with the story.
But having the teenage daughter come up with the divorce settlement ... a settlement which is so unique that it would probably set legal precedents.... is just too much. It is too unbelievable and its two over the top.
I'm sorry babe but I just can't buy this stories, nor many of your others as well, most are just too full of hate. Most of your female characters are hollow sluts, no personality at all nor any redeeming qualities. They are for the most part underdeveloped, which allows a reader who hates women to give her all the bad qualities a woman could possibly have.
Yes you surely do have a large following of male readers, but like you they're all, "Burn the slut", "Kick the slut to the curb" type men. The same men that if a story even mentions that other desire of you men, 'watching his wife have sex with another' votes a one, no matter how well the story is written.
What's really funny, none of your stories reflect this, is that in most divorce cases the cheating wife is the one who files for divorce. Somewhere around 70%. She's stays in a bad marriage for her own reasons, when the cheating is found out she files for divorce.
In this story your Kit is a brainless, 'Father Knows Best' brat. Neither Father nor Daughter fit. In the real whole a daughter that is so attached to her father that she can see nothing but bad in her own mother and only good in her father, has a father who is cold, emotionalist and in most cases abusive, at least mentally. A daughter who is always trying to earn her father's love but never succeeds.
You're a good writer. Why not write a story that reflects real life, a story where the husband isn't blameless. Where the wife is a real person, where she cheats because of something lacking in their marriage or lacking in her husband or even both, you men aren't all perfect. A story where they both have emotional damage from her cheating.
A story where she still feels love for her husband but is willing to leave him if she has to. Not a weak woman who gets on her knees and begs her husband to not kick her out. Most of us women are not weak, most of us do not beg, when we make mistakes we are willing to take the consequences. We move on with our lives. We do not pine for the rest of our life over a lost love.
I'm not saying he has to forgive her but a real man has to at least struggle with some thoughts of forgiving the woman he loves. Love does not turn to hate, love can die and it has to before hatred can take its place. Both husband and wife have to deal with the hurt, anger and despair of that lost love. In real life both women and men do forgive, couples gets counseling, they move on with their life together and do become happy.
From a woman's perspective, at least this woman's, your story are hateful and cold. Your women characters are not real, the cheating wife is weak willed not able to live her life without a man, we don't know women like you portray them.
You could do so much more with your talent, why not give it a try, if you don't get the ratings because your story doesn't end hateful so be it.
Naturaly this story is fable story and I recognize some excellent other writer's effects on the story......but I have 2 pages from it.
Not one of your best and more memorable stories. The story reminded me of “Corbraxicodone”. Also, there wasn’t a single character in the story which was likable.
As usual the wife however is incredibly stupid: she gets caught and gets none the wiser from it and repeats her mistake. Perhaps it’s time to reverse the roles in a story? Have a heroine and a cheating husband who gets his just deserts instead of the same week on week… After all: for each woman who cheats, there’s a male counterpart.
Dyslexicea is full of crap. I have written several burn the bitch stories. Usually, men like them, except the wimp cocksuckers, women not so much. I would not have to agonize as to whether I should keep a cheating slut in my life. Her ass would be history. Your readers want and need to read about strong men and remorseful sluts. She may be correct in saying that when most bitches get caught cheating, they shrug their shoulders accept that they fucked up and move on to another sucker. However, most of us don't want to read about cold calcuating women who destroy good men without consequences. Many of us have experienced that reaction first hand. Don't change a damn thing. We like your stories! 5 stars
SS06, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your weekly stories. I have no idea how you do it, this volume of output is just mind-boggling. I don't have a problem with doing 1200 - 2K words per day, but coming up with new characters and new situations every week is incredibly impressive.
Now, about this story in particular: I really liked it a lot -- I loved the character Kit from the get-go. Most of all, I really enjoyed the feeling of the whole story. One of the interesting, generally implicit things in these LW stories is the stark difference in thought and behavior between the decent, loving folks on the one hand, and the sybaritic, selfish hedonists on the other. This story drew that distinction in a lovely and consistent way throughout.
One last comment: idiots who say, "not one of your best SS06", "Oh, that's just another fugue from Bach", or "just one more concerto from Mozart, and not his best", remind me of the old story about Manny and Moe who looked down, bitching and moaning the entire time they were crossing the divided Red Sea, complaining about having to walk through muck and mud. It's so sad to be so lost in the pettiness of your own little concerns that you completely miss the wonder and the miracle of reality.
Sorry this is anonymous, I just hate creating logins. (MRL)
@ Harry The smart 18 years old daughter's solution is an very humorous (fable) answer to FD45's story "The Forgotten Woman". SS06 has near to Central European humor sense and this can be felt well in the story, because this fable story is near to a satire. The Lit's rule forbids that story in which a below 18 years old high school student has sex with other high school student as well, so SS06 uses a smart virgin Melinda (who is ABOVE 18 years old) and the Author keep explaing the virginity by a boyfriend who is son of a prayer. Melinda's virginity situation is extrem humorouse, because of the real World. One of my favorite SS06's story was refused by the editor of LIT , because 2 main characters had sex in the High School (You can read on SOL storiesonline.net "Iraq I Run"), so SS06 brings virgin women in his stories with very humorouse explainings. Melinda's discovering scen is a honor to Vulcez's character Stacy (Vulcez wrote a flash story, so he mentioned Stacy sent the foto of her Mother and the loverboy to her Dady by mobile), SS06 has time scedule for a longer plan for Melinda in his longer time frame story. However Melinda's new wife project is known from a mentioned SS06 story "Corbraxicodone"..." and the School teacher's Second Chance Woman from another SS06's story "PTA". SS06 likes humor and does not like cheating wives and his stories are fable stories. SS06 writes his stories as a mathematical theorema (engineer husband characters) as If there is a not whimp husband and a cheating (slim, chunky, tall, short, etc..) wife what may be in the future???? Or a children centered husband and..........or........and SS06 writes for us the better and better mathematical theoram's solutions!!!!!!!!!! Thank you and Exponential5***** for them................
BTW I am sorry for you Harry because you like only 100% near to life stories so you lost much!
I liked it! It read like an 18 year old girl was telling the story. It flowed well and had just enough surprises to make it Mustang fast. Thank you.
I know I have said it before ... After reading some of the stories on this site I feel like slitting my wrists. Your stories always leave me happy and feeling better. And it is not simply because your stories are clever and engaging. You are a truly gifted writer. I am amazed how prolific you are, pumping out great story after great story, weak after weak. I appreciate all you do and look forward to your future installments.
I am sorry I forgot Azpiri's outstanding story "Shattered" to mention (blowjob in car accident), but SS06 wrote Helena to be pregnant................Unfortunataly Azpiri had forgotten this the pregnant Second Chance Woman possibilty..........
Damn good story. I normally don't like reading long stories but I didn't wantto stop. Awesome job....
@ Dyslexicea Did I understand you well. The 70% of cheating women divorces AFTER DISCOVERING HER CHEATING. If the husband is CLUELES THE CHEATING WIVES RIDE ON 2 HORSEBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You explained fantastic well one of the backgrounds of the Revenge Stories. I recommend you to read Vulcez's 2 fantastic hyper super Revenge Stories "How Are You?" and "Choice Made" . In both stories the wives decided on divorce after discovering their cheating by the husbands and both wives got the Revenge Dose..................
BTW SS06 has not double standard at all.
You should never try anything different. You should only portray teens as stupid and mindless. All teens are exactly alike so don't try to make them more intelligent than they can possibly be.
Kind of like Harry's reviews.
@ Dyslexicea You wrote seriously the cheating women remain in the marriage with the clueless husbands but 70% of them start the divorce IF THE HUSBANDS DISCOVER THEIR EXTRAMARITAL ACTIVITIES. If the husbands do not know the cheating wives remain with the clueless husbands, and YOU DO WONDER ABOUT THE INVENT OF THE NEW LITERATURE GENRE THE REVENGE STORY!!!!!!!!
Do you know the logic or are you true blond?????
BTW I recommend you to read from FrancisMacomber "The Honey Trap". The wife starts the divorce and gets the Modern Figaro Type and Romantic mix Revenge dose!!!!
I think Dyslexicea is reading in the wrong category. Try Lifetime movies, you'll like them better.
There are a few times where you read things into the story that aren't there. First off, the comment that wives go for divorce, after they're discovered cheating, may be correct, I don't know the statistics. But this:
"She's stays in a bad marriage for her own reasons, when the cheating is found out she files for divorce."
This implies the wife was in a bad marriage. Was she in this story? No. Actually, in NONE of Stang's stories the wife has a bad marriage. Saying that the wife cheats, then divorces BECAUSE of a bad marriage, is NOT true in Stang's stories. NONE of Stang's stories reflect this. Reading what isn't there, perhaps?
"In this story your Kit is a brainless, 'Father Knows Best' brat."
Just because you don't like a character, does that mean that character is not intelligent? I thought lawyers needed a pretty smart brain to finagle money from their clients...
In fact, the entire paragraph where you deride Kit feels like you're reading into stuff that isn't there. Getting very Freudian there. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, you know?
The paragraphs after that very much read like a Lifetime movie. Wife is suffering in a bad marriage, because her husband is inattentive, doesn't care about her, or abusive (this one is very popular in Lifetime movies).
She finds a man who really understands her and commiserates with her, and in a moment of weakness, she succumbs!
The horrible husband finds out, smacks her around, and threatens to kill her.
So, she has no choice but to divorce him (and hide in the meantime because he's out looking to kill her).
The divorce goes through, and when the vengeful ex-husband attacks her in a public place, he gets arrested, goes to jail, and she lives happily ever after.
Am I hitting on all the points here that you mentioned?
Bad marriage. Check. Not in Stang's story? Check.
Something lacking in marriage or husband? Check. Not in Stang's story? Check.
Wife still feels love for her husband (the poor dear! In love with someone who doesn't deserve her!). Check. Not in Stang's story? Check (Didja read the part where the wife cheats for no reason at all? And even does it again when she has been warned, leading to the accident? Can't have missed that, right?)
"Most of us women are not weak, most of us do not beg, when we make mistakes we are willing to take the consequences. We move on with our lives. We do not pine for the rest of our life over a lost love."
Exactly. Most women don't feel any guilt or remorse when cheating, don't beg for forgiveness ("I did nothing wrong, besides, it's YOUR fault!"). And when discovered (consequences!), it's "Oops, got caught. I'll file for divorce and get half his money". While the husband is left wondering what he did wrong, the ex-wife has moved on, not thinking at all about the heartbroken husband she left behind, having taken half of his money, and sitting pretty with alimony.
The old double standard "When he cheats, it's his fault, when she cheats, it's his fault" seems to be true, according to Dyslexicea.
Sorry Dyslexicea, but I think that you're so desperate to want the husband be at fault for the wife's cheating, that you invent stuff that isn't in the story itself.
"Most of us women are not weak, most of us do not beg, when we make mistakes we are willing to take the consequences. We move on with our lives. We do not pine for the rest of our life over a lost love."
I KNEW I read a story where a woman is like that. Just couldn't remember, but I found it: Dyslexicea, go read "Mercenary", by Salamis. The wife in that story is like what I just copypasted.
Arba is the worst most amoral person I have seen in your writings. Her role in the situation and her relationship with her student was hediously inappropriate and she is an utter disgrace to the profession. I get Kleatz, he's an asshole and you made that clear, the problem is that you seem to hold up Abra as some shining example of what a great teacher should be. As a teacher myself, let me tell you that you don't get personaly involved with your students like that, you don't tell them you have the hots for their parent, you don't let them disrestect other faculty members (fat art teacher), you don't conive with them to hook up with their parent, in short you don't do any of the things that Abra did. Like the man said "Human kindness has many faces, one of the best is the face of the teacher.". The disdain you show the profession is beyond the pale. Seems a bit ironic since the only reason a shithole like you even writes this crap is because somewhere along the line someone took the time and trouble to TEACH you how.
The previous rant was very interesting. Someone has an axe to grind for some unknown reason. Says more about themselves than anything else. Maybe anger management classes?
Many of the comments here seem to want to pick the story and/or author apart on minutiae like the story doesn't doesn't sound like reality, the teenager is way too smart for an 18 YO, etc.
Damn, people, this is fiction or fantasy, not a documentary!
I enjoyed the story. I thought the characters were well developed and well defined. The story contained enough humor to keep me interested beyond the basic plot.
I literally laughed aloud envisioning George Peppard taking a drag on this stogie as Col. Hannibal Smith chuckling as he says, "I love it when a plan comes together."
Remember, it's entertainment, not journalism! Maybe that will help you enjoy the writing.
I found it enjoyable and entertaining.
i love your females when they are not stupid, just proper villans. you had me rolling with this one. evidently some people dont understand that this is fiction and will give you shit over it and then watch mission impossible 12 times and not realize that none of that shit is real either. 5
I am glad others like the not 100% true life (fable, satire, fantasy, Sci-Fi, humor, etc.) stories and I am not alone. Majorities of SS06's stories are fable stories. Some of them show possibilities of consequencies (plural) of the cheating, others show a choice situation, whether reader whom/what you would choice: I mentioned SS06 refused story by LIT editors "Iraq I Run" from SOL storiesonline.net. In that fable story the Author shows us (male readers) a lifetime choice to be long term mate in a marriage and the Author shows his decide on it and I go with him. Other SS06's fable story "Forever Gone, Forever You" is also a good fable story to show Who is the true father, the DNA ancestor or....with a fantastic humorouse beggar scen????!!!!!! However here SS06 shows a cheating wife situation management with an after divorce situation management.
1. To avoid the deep depression or the deep new connection obstacle anger behavioral with quick grabing of the good oportunity to reach the neutrality to the ex...........
2. The children must maintan a connection to the cheating parent, against not being the favorit parent. However the true love is gotten............
3. And a special honor to Azpiri's gem Revenge story "Shattered" and Vulcez's gem Revenge story "How Are You?".
4.A very good answer to FD45's debate story "The Forgotten Woman". FD45 there is not among the commenters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Has he readt this story????
5. We get this with excellent humor (funny above 18 years old virgin but vise girl Melinda.....). Nose rub of the LIT editors as Stacy with her Mother......
BTW I go to SOL (storiesonline.net) and vote the highest vote for this story and DO YOU FOLLOW ME????!!!!!!!!!!
BUT WTF! I enjoyed the hell out of it anyway.
I didn't like the bit about the chastity pledge, not very realistic for today's' kids and Dean was portrayed almost as a non-entity, instead of a real live teenager.
Would it still be kiddy porn if Dean & Kit did some cosplay, or mild B&D but didn't fuck?
Your writing style is similar to Egmont Grigor.
Long winded, convoluted, and the bits worth reading can be condensed to about a page and a half.
There has to be a better word for it, boring doesn't begin to describe your writing.
I have read a few hundred stories here and many comments seem to be based on a misunderstanding that stories are being posted for criticism. I guess I have been off the mark, I read the story for enjoyment. I don't care that some grammar or spelling is incorrect. I read the story for enjoyment. I don't care if the story goes fast or slow, or even if it gets muddled. I read the story for enjoyment. I finally have to admit I have quit reading the comments because some folks choose not to read a story for enjoyment, but to spotlight their skills at criticizing the most minute, piddling things which, I guess, destroys their pleasure or reading a story for enjoyment....
Stangstar I found the story entertaining, pleasurable, painful, and at times disconcerting, but it was a complete story and had a happy ending for the leading characters...please keep up the good work and let the anonymous posters kiss you computer....
Wow I simply dont understand the rancid attitude some people seem to have. So often in the comments of SS06 stories people slash and burn, wow just wow. If you dont like his writing, then dont read it... you know its commin pretty much every couple of days....
Let me say that while I dont like all of SS06 stories, I enjoy many of them, and even those I dont like I dont pan for the simple reason of hes writing for his and our enjoyment, not for our right to slash and author that gets nothing more out of his work than the enjoyment of writing it and having people enjoy it themselves.
With that said, this one was different in the POV it was told from, and yes seems to be another fable type story rather than a true possibility. Still all in all a good story, and thanks again for another piece of entertainment SS.
Here's to hopin for a good store Santa's gangbanged the ex-wife story for Xmas this year :) lol
Keep on wirting them and we'll keep reading them SS06, even the people who wanna just piss and moan.... I guess that no matter what they say, since they keep commenting you must be doing somethig right.
Thanks again dude
Mister Stang, Itunes should really consider giving you a cut. Given that so many of your stories makes us go shop there to buy all those song you put in them. For this one you made me discover a nice little song with a good voice.
Thx a lot
7 posts out of 92...
way too much
and the thing is No one still has nay idea what the fuck you are talking about
Compelling story, great characters, wonderfully written, innovative viewpoint. I can't praise this one enough.
Another well deserved 5 star outing. Thank you.
Ok when are we going to have a story about the "the bubblegum-chewing college girl" that features so heavily in your stories, besides the Mustangs ;)
I'd love to see a story about her someday
Bubble-Gum girl deserves her hour of glory! Or maybe a chronnicle of the craziest cases she served?
When the daughter tells her father," Both Mom and Mr. Eddington are paying for what they did. It probably isn't enough, but they are paying." That says it all. They ARE NOT paying enough which is simply another way of saying she gets away too easily. NOT FAIR!
I know it's just a character, but it's a very unconvincing one. She sounds like a 40 year old man rather than an 18 year old girl. At absolutely no point in the story can I believe that this is the voice of a woman, let alone one as young as that.