Leaving Home

"So, I'm in love when...."

"...when you feel like doing hand-stands in the rain at midnight for no apparent reason, grinning all the while, and you don't feel the slightest bit embarrassed in front of anyone who happens to wander by."

"That's jus weird, huh?"

"Yip. That's love. Just weird and inexplicable. Ever felt that way?"

"Yes, pretty much. For a while at college. But it didn't last. Maybe next time. So, let me see. The opposite of love would be hate?"

"Yeah, hate. Hate no-one son. It has to be the most destructive of emotions, one without any redeeming qualities. It has no redemptive value. It serves no purpose in furthering humankind's interests."

"So don't hate anyone, no matter what they do?"

"An argument can always be made for retribution as, for example, when seeking justice in the case of crime. But beyond that we raise our human existence to another level if we can find it in our hearts to forgive."

"That's tough to do sometimes."

"Precisely. And that's why forgiveness is such a high virtue. So forgive your enemies. But also do not forget them."

"The not forgetting part. That's easy."

"Good. Because I don't just mean be circumspect so you can avoid the next ambush. I'm proposing that you remember your enemies so that if the opportunity presents itself, you can be charitable towards them."

"Why? That's insane. Like, reward them for bad behavior?"

"Most who receive your considerations will overlook their privilege. But remember what we said about not burning bridges. Today's enemy may someday save you from yourself."

"If I look confused again, that's 'cause I am."

"Example. It's a bit crude but simply to illustrate the point. This is a true story, by the way. It happened to me. You're in a night club and bump into another guy on the dance floor. He has a reputation as Mr. Tough and uses every opportunity to prove it. He wants to go outside to 'settle' things. You notice his wrist is bandaged. You ask him what happened and express empathy when he relates a story about a motorcycle accident. You ride bikes, too. You tell him you know where he's coming from. The fight has gone out of him and you part ways without causing a scene.

"A week later you're in the same club and strike up a conversation with a cute girl. She seems willing to spend time with you. At this point her boyfriend shows up at the table and stakes his claim to the girl who, it turns out, is in a relationship with him. He verbalizes his decision to 'take your head off.' Mr. Tough from the week before is suddenly at your side. He calms the troubled Casanova, explaining that 'this 'ere dude is okay' and to let your oversight slide. You're off the hook and have kept your head."

"So love your enemy and save yourself?"

"Something like that son. I hear your mother calling. Better go see what's up."

"Okay. Be right back."

****

"What did your mother want?"

"Nothing. She jus wanted to know what we were talking about."

"I see. Well, where were we?"

"You want me to love everybody when I leave home."

"Ah, yes. Well, something you can aspire to anyway. And hope."

"What about hope?"

"Stay optimistic about the future. For if you no longer hope you take strong and sole authorship of your own fate."

"But I thought you said earlier that I can't write my own destiny."

"I believe what I said was that no-one really writes their own future. That destiny is never totally within your influence to control. Yet you can influence it. It's also true to say that if you abandon all hope you also empower destiny, a fate that may or may not be benevolent."

"That's a scarey thought."

"Agreed. So, never lose faith in yourself or the hope of tomorrow. Discover what is pleasing to you and believe in those things because faith has the ability to reward by protecting and guiding you."

"So, kinda like stay optimistic and you have a better chance of coming right side up in life?"

"Exactly. But realistic optimism, based on self-knowledge."

Silence.

"Seems like pretty much everything comes down to self-something Dad. Self-respect, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-awareness, self-knowledge. Everything but selfishness."

"Very astute, son. That's it in a nutshell. Stay true to what you know about yourself. Others will recognize the strength of that commitment and rally to your cause when the time comes for you to make a stand, whatever the issues."

Silence.

"Son?"

"Dad?"

"Are you thinking again?"

"No, Dad. Reflecting. It all comes together. Everything we've talked about comes down to just that one thing. Be true to yourself. Is that what you took two hours to tell me?"

"Why certainly. But I couldn't just tell you. You had to help write the lesson so it would be that much more memorable, as it has been for me."

"So you're Socrates now?"

"That's too much flattery, son. But thanks anyway. See, I know your Mom and I have taught you all the intangible skills to succeed out there. Your morals, values and beliefs. We taught you about humility, about modesty, about trustworthiness, choice and discretion, respect, love and commitment, hope and faith amongst other things. These are the building blocks of continuous learning in life's arena. Stay true to them. They are your compass points. Abandon them and you'll lose your way."

"Right. I'll remember."

"And while you journey on, son, smile. Smile at providence for if you do not honor her gifts she will pass fleetingly to shine on another. Know when life favors you and be grateful. Look kindly upon the face of your angel or you will find her weeping."

"Who said that Dad. It's beautiful."

"I did. I only mean to say that I don't believe we should place our mortal existence above the spiritual plane. We do not see beyond the horizon. We do not know what powers might reside there to nurture or harm us. Respect that reality. Don't fear the unknown, but also do not challenge ignorance with arrogance."

"Makes sense, I think."

"I tend to be a little cerebral son. Your mother, on the other hand, is intelligent and highly pragmatic. You've learned much from her. Let that knowledge guide you. I think you're ready to enter the game. Now, good luck convincing her."

"I already have Dad."

"How? When? About leaving home?"

"Every time I left the room I passed along what you were saying. I just explained things to her in my own way. And she agreed I could move out. She said good luck getting your support though."

"So how come she never listens to me? She just keeps walking out of the room."

"Nothing wrong with big words, Dad, but it's the thought that really counts. Oh, by the way, Mom said it would be okay to come home for dinner on Monday night. See you then."

"Yeah, sure. See you then son."

"Oh, and Dad. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"One more question. Did you ever lose your moral compass?"

"A couple of times, yes."

"How did you find it again?"

"Your mother."

"Why are you're smiling Dad?"

"I'm thinking about a certain angel."

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