Lessons Learned Ch. 08

"I don't know what you mean." Mother replied nervously.

She moved her arm from Andreas's grasp and walked to her office. Andreas was right behind her. She went into the office and walked to her desk. When she got to the front of the desk, Andreas came into the office and slammed the door behind him. Mother turned and locked eyes with Andreas. The tension between the two was unbreakable. Mother was the first one to break the connection. She looked away and turned her attention the bookshelf behind him. He smiled at her reaction, turned to the nearby couch and sat down. . "I'm sure you don't." he replied sarcastically.

"You are on the verge of losing both your daughters. Do you realize that?" he asked.

"I don't believe that!!" Mother retorted.

Andreas looked at her in disbelief. "Are you serious? Or are you so delusional that you don't even realize the damage that you're actions have caused?" Andreas replied.

Mother narrowed her eyes in anger, "And what exactly have I done? Raised you? Kept a home over your heads? Protect you from the hurt and heartache of the world? IS THAT WHAT I'VE DONE WRONG HERE?" Mother exclaimed.

"Mother your dramatics don't work on me. You and I both know that that's not what this is about!!" Andreas replied.

"Then what is this about Andreas? Mother asked calmly.

Andreas paused for a second. He looked at our mother in complete awe. Mother continued to challenge his gaze with a prideful one of her own. After a few more moments of tense silence Andreas continued,

Do you realize that your need to control everything has caused a catastrophic chain of events? DO YOU EVEN CARE?" Andreas demanded.

"Of course I care. Do you think I wanted my daughter's house to be burned down by some two-bit whore she befriended years ago? Do you think I WANTED my two daughters to hate each other for almost six years? What kind of person do you take me for?" Mother asked.

"I take you for a woman who loves her children but has used way too many misguided attempts to keep them close to her. You've really fucked up this time Mom. So as I said before, if you want your daughters back you need to tell me everything. Don't leave anything out!!" Andreas replied.

For awhile Mother kept silent. She walked around the desk and sat in her chair. She swiveled the chair around and gazed out the window into the night. Andreas sat patiently and waited for her response. Mother took a deep breath and began,

"I love all of my children. You all are the lights of my life. But Angela, she's special. She's more like me then any of you realize." Mother replied

"How so?" Andreas asked.

"You know that I've always thought and said wonderful things about your father. He was a good man, a good father and a good husband. What you children didn't know was that our marriage began as a loveless one. His first and only love at the time was his first wife Cecilia. She died three years before he met me. He was still mourning her and saw a reflection of her in me. We saw each other for a short amount of time and then got married. I knew from the beginning that I was being used as a warm remembrance of his dead wife and he in turn was being used for security. Within the next ten years I had Maurice, Marguerite and then you, Andreas."

"How could you have kept this from us? You both always seemed so in love in front of us. Was that just an act?" Andreas asked.

"In some ways yes and some ways no. When you spend a good part of your life with someone you learn to love them. I went from caring for him a great deal to loving him. He was my best friend. We did everything together."

"But you weren't in love with him?" Andreas replied.

Mother turned to Andreas and replied, "There was only one great love of my life Andreas, and unfortunately it wasn't your father. Your father and mine's relationship was different but it worked for us. I truly believe that he was happy. When he died he was finally able to be with his Cecilia. "

"Did Dad know about this other man?" Andreas asked.

"Your father knew that I loved another. But everything didn't come to light until Angela was born."

Andreas was taken aback, "What do you mean? What was brought to light when Angela was born?" Andreas asked.

Mother returned her gaze back to the full moon. She watched it glow in silence. Andreas got up from his seat and asked again,

"What was brought to light when Angela was born Mother? Are you telling me that Angela is not Dad's daughter? ANSWER ME DAMMIT " Andreas demanded.

Mother whipped around and answered darkly, "Oh come on, look at her and then look at you, your brother and sister. How can you NOT see a difference."

"You always told us that she took after your mother's side of the family. What else were we supposed to believe?" Andreas replied.

"Really Andreas? I'm 5'10, your father was 6'3. If we both were this height, the people in our family had to be about this height as well. And then think about something else; for ten years your father and I produced four children that are consistent in height, size and skin color. Then all of a sudden there's a short, mocha colored baby in our midst and no one thought there was anything wrong with that."

"Well what did you expect? You both had been feeding us lies about this child for years. After awhile it didn't matter anymore. We began to love her more because she was special. And anyway, Maurice is close to her complexion. We thought that maybe she picked up the same gene he did." Andreas replied

"Well maybe you and Maurice stopped questioning it; Marguerite sure didn't. And fortunately for her, her questions were answered in January 2005." Mother replied.

"Why January?" Andreas asked.

Mother turned back to the window and returned her gaze to the full moon's glow. "That's around the time Charleston Harper died." she replied.

"Sherise's Dad? What does Sherise's Dad have to do with this? Wait a minute.... Are you telling me that Angela is Charleston Harper's daughter?" Andreas asked softly.

Mother lowered her eyes to the desk and nodded yes.

"Huh... that explains a lot." Andreas replied.

Tears began to form and run down Mother's cheek. She turned to face Andreas's angry gaze.

"You do realize that you were literally the catalyst to everything that happened to Angela. Well at least when it comes to Sherise." Andreas replied

"What are you talking about?" Mother asked as she wiped away her tears.

"Mother think about it. If Marguerite found out about it, what makes you think that Sherise didn't find out about it? Which brings me to another question. What is the importance of Angela's house?" Andreas asked.

"It was the house that she was born in." Mother replied softly.

"What did you say?" Andreas asked.

"The house that Angela inherited was the house that she was conceived in." My mother replied louder.

Andreas looked incredulously at our mother. He lowered back down to the bed and waited for her to continue.

"At one time Charlie and I were going to be together, live in that house and raise a family. At the last moment he decided that he loved his wife and child more. He left me and my unborn child and returned home to his family. He ironically sold the house to my husband. Maurice in turn decided to keep it as a trust for Angela when he died." Mother replied.

"Did Charleston know about Angela?" Andreas replied

"Of course he did. I told him myself."

"He told me that another responsibility was too much for him and that his wife and child needed him." She said with a sad smile.

"And what did you do?" Andreas asked.

"I called him a few expletives and then I went home and told Maurice Senior everything. I was ready for him to kick me out and call me all sorts of names, but he didn't. He took me into his arms and held me as I mourned over my lost love. He soothed me and promised me that we would raise this child as our own. I think that, that was the exact moment that I knew I loved your father. We even made love that night. And with both instances happening close to each other, no one could question whether or not Angela was biologically ours." Mother replied.

"And dad had no problem with this arrangement?" Andreas asked.

"No he didn't. By that time your father and I had become very comfortable with our roles as parents and best friends. He just wanted me to be happy. And you know your father loved children. The thought of having another child in the house appealed to him instantly. When Angela was born he was so happy. He coddled and loved her as if she were his own."

Andreas smiled at the memory. "Yea , I remember the day you brought Angela home. I was five, Marguerite was seven and Maurice was ten. I was the first one to hold her out of the bunch. Pretty soon we were all fighting to get the chance to hold the baby. Boy did she have some lungs. Every time one of us tried to hold her, she would scream her head off."

"I know. You're father knew she would be singer the first time he heard her cry. Her cries would resonate throughout the house. He was right." Mother replied with a smile.

"Yea he was. But I have to ask. When Angela and Sherise became friends and the Harpers would come over for dinners, barbecues and any other function we hosted, how could Charleston step foot in the house of the man that was raising his child?" Andreas asked.

"Sweetheart he had no choice. He could either claim this beautiful child as his own and lose everything or watch her grow from afar and lose nothing. Trust and believe, he was very prominent in Angela's life. He knew everything that happened in her life. He made sure of it." Mother replied.

"So if Sherise knew this about her father, why was she such a bitch to Angela? Angela had nothing to do with this." Andreas replied.

"Charleston loved Angela because he loved me. He always wondered what if? I think that our affair distanced Charleston from his life at home. And even though we stopped; the damage was already done. And as you know Sherise's mother is not the nicest woman in the world. She raised her daughter to be a disrespectful slut just like herself."

"Selena had affairs as well?" Andreas asked.

"Oh yea, all through their marriage. It got so bad that he had to do a paternity test on Sherise to make sure that she was his. And she was of course. It broke his heart that his wife wasn't satisfied with just him; but he loved her. I think that in Sherise's mind her mother's affairs were so much of a regular occurrence that she felt as though a woman had every right to cheat on her husband. But if Daddy did it, it was the unforgivable sin. Sherise loved her father very much. And if what you say is true; I'm sure she would have been very upset to know that her father not only had an affair but produced a child from this affair. I think that knowledge would have been too much for her." Mother replied.

"I understand the hurt of finding out that the most important person in your life is not as perfect as you would like. But if she knew that her mother was a whore; why should it matter?"

"Because her father was her constant. His love for them is what kept them together. And then to find out that he loved another.... It had to have been a terrible reality check for her." Mother replied.

"Why did she burn the house down Mom? Angela had nothing to do with this. She doesn't even know that Charleston is her father." Andreas replied.

"Angela was Sherise's best friend. Finding out that the girl you grew up with, the girl you called your best friend is the unknowing product of "Daddy Dearest" affair may have been too much for her. Her father was dead so she couldn't lash out at him; so she did the next best thing. She lashed out at his illegitimate child." Mother replied.

"One more question, If you knew all this why did you suggest to Sherise's mother that she move in with Angela?"

Mother lowered her eyes in shame. " Because I was mad at her."

"What?"

"I didn't want Angela to move. I wanted to hold on to her as long as I could. I'm like that with all of you. You guys stayed; she was different. She wanted to see the world so she left. Then she decided to move into that same house that I found I love in. That house was meant for me, my child and the man I love. It was not meant for just her. We all were supposed to live in that house together. Now I admit, this whole fiasco with Marguerite was not my finest hour, but what could I do? I loved Charleston Harper and we were supposed to be a family and HE destroyed that!!" Mother exclaimed.

Andreas shook his head in disbelief, "Do you hear yourself? This isn't about you mom. Well actually it is about you because somehow you made this about you. You have single-handedly ruined your daughter's life. And the funny part is, she doesn't even know the half of it. Wow!!!" Maurice replied.

"What was I supposed to do? Hmm? What would you have had me do? I was in a loveless marriage and finally I had found my way out. Something that was for me. Why wouldn't I want to grab it and hold onto it as long as I could. Angela was the only link I had left of Charleston and Maurice. She was the product of the only love I've ever had and she was the reason why your father and I found each other. Why wouldn't I want to hold on to that?" Mother replied.

"Because Mom, Angela is not some keepsake that you store away in the attic. She's a person. She's a full-blooded human being with wants, needs, ambitions and desires. She has to have a life of her own. You can't control that. No one can control that except her. And you wonder why she wants to get away from you. You push her away by putting her on a pressurized pedestal that she shouldn't be on in the first place. But the thing is, Angela isn't the only one you try to control. You try to control all of us in some way or another. This has got to stop. YOU'VE GOT TO STOP!!" Maurice exclaimed.

Mother lifted her chin up with pride, "I will not apologize for loving my children, for being there when they need me, and wanting to stay in their lives as long as I can. I also will not apologize for finding a love that many aren't able to find. You can blame me all you want. The only thing I'm guilty of is doing what I had to do to protect my child. And if I was wrong in that, then I'm sorry. And that's the only thing that I will apologize for." Mother stated.

Andreas chuckled to himself. He turned and walked to the door. He unlocked it and opened it up to leave. Before he left he turned to our mother and replied,

"You will never know the extent of the damage that you've caused. Lives have been ruined because of your selfishness. I don't know if Angela will ever forgive you for what you've done. And if she does, wonderful. But if she doesn't; I definitely wouldn't blame her. Goodbye Mother I hope you rest peacefully in knowing that you have caused chaos in all of your children's lives. Sleep well!"

Andreas turned and walked out the office. With her head held high, Mother watched Andreas walk out of the room and slowly disappear out of her sight into the night. When Andreas was gone, Mother picked up the phone and made a call, "Hello?" A voice replied.

"I did it. I told Andreas everything." Mother replied.

"Did you really tell him EVERYTHING?" the voice replied.

"Well not everything. I couldn't very well tell him that the father he and the rest of our children know and love to be dead is actually sitting pretty on an island off the cost of Mexico, now could I?" Mother replied.

"Estelle you know that, that's not what I was talking about." Maurice Sr. replied.

"I gave Andreas the version of the story that we decided on. And it's your own damn fault!! If you hadn't of left, we wouldn't have to lie to our children." Mother replied.

"Well Estelle you kind of gave me no choice with the whole Charleston Harper thing!!" Maurice replied.

"Maurice that's bullshit and you know it. Me and Charlie were done years ago. You were ecstatic when Angela came into picture. Charlie was just a means to an end." Mother replied.

"You keep telling yourself that Estelle. I will admit, I wanted another child. And since I was forced into a vasectomy by those damn doctors I couldn't have one. But fortunately for me, my wife was having an affair with the next door neighbor. So what better way to satisfy all of our needs. But then you had to fuck it up and fall in love with the bastard!!" Maurice Sr. replied.

"What was I supposed to do? You were so caught up in the memory of your dead wife. I couldn't compete with a memory Maurice. I did what I had to do for me" Mother replied.

"You keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you'll start believing it." Maurice replied

"Oh I do believe it. I loved Charleston Harper. He was the ONLY man I ever loved." Mother boasted.

"You know what's hilarious?" Maurice Sr. asked.

"What's that?" Mother asked.

"You've told these lies so many times that you are actually beginning to believe them yourself." Maurice replied. He chuckled to himself.

"Whatever Maurice!! And why do you care? You never loved me. I might as well... "

"Whoa there.." Maurice interrupted. "I do love you. I've always loved you. But you slithered into my life when I was mourning my dead wife. You knew what the deal was and you still extracted your claws into me." Maurice Sr. replied.

"Well if you knew what I was after, why did you continue with the ruse?" Mother asked.

"What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment. Still am!!" Maurice Sr. replied heartily.

Mother chuckled. "I will always love your confidence. I wish you could come home to me. I miss you." Mother replied.

"I know my darling. After all these years my desire for you still holds strong. But it has to be this way for a little while longer. We covered our tracks with the Charleston Harper incident. But at any time they could realize that he didn't die of the heart attack they assumed he died of."

"You're right. I just miss you so." Mother replied.

"And I you." Maurice Sr. replied.

The two paused for a brief moment in content silence.

"So tell me, what's going on with my children?" Maurice Sr. asked.

*

CopyrightÓBBWLove 8369 February 2010

Revised 2010