All Comments on 'Life as a New Hire Ch. 13'

A solid 4 star until the LAST line. That line was worth a whole star just by itself. Well played sir!

More and more is being revealed as Cael survives each day. They face an existential threat; will Cael be another? I cannot wait to see.

to that idiot Bushpig. Your stuff is one of the best reasons for coming to this site. This is a great story and the dialogue is absolutely fantastic. I look forward to each installment to see what happens next. You could use a better proof reader but the storyline is totally engaging. Please continue, you make my day.

Still mis-spelling schmuck, I see. :-(

Cael is just too much , and Felix he is too dumb to realise he is in the wrong world , were the parents money can't help him .

It's horrible but really really interesting to see how it plays out.

Choose choose instead of chose. Simple mistake you keep making.

Love the story, love the dialogue, love the characters.

Please keep this story going its the best I've read hear a terrific mix of action. humor and eroticism.

i dont care about grammar or spelling...just keep this "best in class" going or I'm going to have severe withdrawall !!

This is a great fun story and I love the humor and creative skill. Keep them coming!

Awesome as always. Pump out a hundred more already. 4 pages is just a tease now lol.

I'm only on chapter 5, but I have a comment on your use of quotation marks. In normal English quotation style, if a person talks for two paragraphs, the first paragraph doesn't have end quotation marks. See: http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/96608/why-does-the-multi-paragraph-quotation-rule-exist

There are also other styles, such as starting every new speaker's quotations with a dash, or with ellipses; these styles generally appear in other languages. All of these styles are designed to make it immediately clear who is speaking in each paragraph. Your use of quotations does not fulfill this purpose.

I have been waiting to see when all the little hints, that they might be trying to change things somewhat, were going to make it through the stress he has been under. Now thirteen chapters in it finally happens. Please keep up the fine work. Thank You for sharing with us.

When I change the 3 into a 4 in the url, my 'ocular devices' detect a "not found" message. Please help with further scrolls of this story or I will have to shed tears cuddled to a 'maternal unit'.

I finally found a story to read in public. Thank you and keep up the good job. I'm enjoying the read, so bring em on and screw what the people who always got something negative to say.

Nitpickers? The story is awesome! Enjoy the free ride and stop looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Wonderful story like always!! I can't wait to read about the fight and what impact it has on havenstone. I keep coming back here day in and day out so when you submit the next chapter, could you please post a notice on it here?

Br,

Impatient and eager ☺

"Anonymous 08/05/14 Not found...When I change the 3 into a 4 in the url, my 'ocular devices' detect a "not found" message."

has always worked fine >

http://www.literotica.com/s/life-as-a-new-hire-ch-13?page=4

back on topic - this story is some seriously brilliant stuff!

Progress: Right now I am waiting to hear back from a new editor (second attempt). I have had excellent volunteer effort by several readers, but I'm clearly missing things on my final review before I submit the story. My health has sucked, but I have finished Chapter 19 now and have made good progress on Chapter 20. An odd side effect of my poor mental condition is the ONLY thing I seem to be able to concentrate on is this story. I've also been handed several good plot ideas from Feedback that should add at least 5 more chapters beyond what I've already done.

For those who have had to put up with my depression - thanks.

Dude - Fantastic story, great writing...ignore the naysayers and keep up the good work.

My wife suffers from depression, so I have an inkling of what you're going through. (I say 'an inkling' because to claim that I *know* what you're going though would be dishonest. Only someone who has suffered from depression truly understand what it's like.) Anyway, I hope that things get better for you soon...you deserve it.

Have you heard from your editor yet or is he/she still on vacation? ☺

If you need another editor I'd like to help. I haven't done it before but I would like to try and help you out if you need it.

Br,

Impatient and eager

I have a new Lit. editor as of Monday and sent him the next three chapters. After some difficulties, I have finished Chapter 20 (as of about 5 minutes ago) and am halfway through 21 (due to having to restructure some events that started in 20, but had to be moved to 21 due to length). I've had a great deal of help from several readers with ideas and clarification of linguistic and historical issues. So far, so good. Sorry that I took a bit of time hunting down an new editor.

FinalStand,

First of all, thank you for all the fun you've given me through your stories. I hope you get through your troubles soon. It will get better. The death of Robin Williams made me think of you. Remember that people care about you. Take care and get well soon.

But i keep clicking on the next chapter and reading on.

...And laughing out loud...at 2;30 AM.

We share acquaintance wit Churchill's Black Dog of depression.

I think it comes with the curse/blessing of irresponsible creativity.

Thanks for your word-work....Ironyworks

Great Story ! Loved the read . Keep it up it ranks right up there with " The Morrisions" and A New Life of Dr. Mitchell !

Sent you and E-mail so look for it .

Thanks again

tx cracker

When will the next chapters be posted??

I waited a week on m editor - nothing yet so I'm putting up the next chapter anyway (Aug. 18, 2014). Still going strong on this story. Starting Chapter 22.

Glad to hear that you're still steaming ahead with this story. Hope you get some better luck with your editors in the future.

Hoping the site posts the submission soon!

This is the first time I've commented on this story. I usually try to give a comment at the end of each chapter of every story I read, but this story is fucking fabulous. I've selfishly not allowed myself to take the time to write a comment because I wanted to move on the the next chapter. That being said, this story is phenomenal so far.

And this part:

"What are you talking about?" I protested. "I'm freaking awesome. I point the boom-stick at...whatever you call them...pull that trigger-thingy and the bullets go in a direction that doesn't hurt me. Honestly, this crap is easy."

was fucking hilarious!!! Thanks for posting!!

I noticed a number of typos in this chapter which lends credence to the strange comment about them dodging taxes.

Normally I don't mind but as an editor myself, I take exception to using the wrong 'there. they're, their- that's basic stuff I find to be really annoying but it's made worse (despite it happening only once in this chapter, I think) because of how incredibly high quality this series is. I lost four hours of sleep last night because I stayed up reading. The wit, intelligence, and ancient history angle is absolutely superb.

What is with all the grammar-Nazi comments for this chapter, sheesh? When an author is cranking out content, spelling and grammar is not a priority. That is the function of editors whom are volunteering as best they can. Get a grip peeps.

If you are so focused on the typos to enjoy the gift of this (or any) story, keep it to yourself like a decent person. Unless you are the editor or someone the author has asked to proof-read, just read around whatever mistakes happen to be there and move on. If you are halfway bright, you'll always be able to understand what's being conveyed.

My compliments to the author! I laugh audibly at some of this story, and I don't find myself skipping to the juicy bits like I do with some stories with less character building. I appreciate the chosen lifestyle of the MC...almost makes me want to adopt the same "laissez les bon temps rouler" attitude. Such a fun story, and wonderful characters! Thank you for sharing it with us!

Xoxo Annimalistic

I completely agree.... the odd typo does nothing to detract from what is an awesome storyline.

Odd typo? The stories are riddled with typos. So what? Good stories.

I should do better and hope one day to reach that mythical perfection. It is what a reader deserves - free site, or not. Likewise, I appreciate the defense of how my imperfections in technique do not detract from the overall creative effort. It does my heart good to know people take pleasure from my work. It truly does.

Take care all,

James aka FinalStand

Personally, I think that your "Life as a New Hire" and "Christian College Sex Comedy" series are among the very best on this site and I truly hope that someday you can find the time & motivation to finish these masterpieces. I have read both series, multiple times, and your vision and sense of humor are inspiring. Thank you for sharing with us.

At the bar, Katy Lee Baker tells Cael: ""I'm curious because two of the three arrived five minutes before you did and they appear somewhat unhappy with you right now,"

Problem: Brooke and Libra never left the bedroom when Katy Lee made the delivery to Libra's apartment in Ch 9 ("Oh My God! All their clothes fell off!)", so I'm not sure how she recognized them, she only saw Marla and Cael.

This didn't keep me from enjoying the chapter however, since its my 4th or 5th reading and I only just noticed it!

Back again for a re-read.

Something that's always bothered me is that I feel you're missing a somewhere over the last 10 chapters.

When does the Great Hunt transition from being one of Cael's offhand jokes into a real thing?

From Chapter 5, Cael to Brielle & friend in the elevator:

"I don't see any Havenstone women for 79 more days," I stated. "Corporate policy. After that, all requests for

hunting licenses are submitted to Desiree; non-lethal weaponry only until I develop more refined survival skills."

Presumably, he is joking. While there are (again, apparently joking) allusions to being hunted in x days before and after this, the next time actual hunting licenses or an official, organized, corporate hunt are clearly mentioned is in this chapter (13):

Naomi to Constanza on the firing range:

"Besides, if you hate him that much, getting (sic) a hunting license for him like the rest of us."

So...somewhere along the way the Great Hunt became a real thing and I would have loved to watch that happen.

If you ever do another "deleted scenes" addendum, consider the humor to be mined in the following sequence:

- Desiree gets a cold call (or two) requesting a hunting license.

- Once she figures out this is due to one of Caels jokes, she thinks about it, realizes its not a terrible idea

(plus it would serve him right) and takes it to Katrina.

- Katrina concurs, and takes it to Hayden

- Hayden approves "The Great Hunt"

*** Someone gets the pleasure of telling Cael one of his jokes has taken on a life of its own.***

(maybe Desiree, casually informing him of how many license requests she's fielded so far just to see his reaction)

Geon54 - great idea. I'm sure Desiree would LOVE to tell Cael the 'good news'. Hayden herself would think this would be the ultimate way of showing the new males the are an addendum to the Amazon culture now. The winners being treated as 'Runners' and the losers ... well, that's what breeding farms are for, right?

As an addendum to my prior post re: the Hunt and when did Cael find out it had become a 'real" thing:

Toward the end of Chapter 12 Cael thinks:

"Before Buffy opened her big mouth an hour ago, any contest for me had been a joke -- the whole 'hunt me down in X-number of days'."

Indicating that an organized "Hunt" isn't an real thing yet (or Cael simply doesn't know about it yet), but in this chapter he talks to Naomi and the other Amazon fey (love that image) in the firing range about "hunting them right back". This is the first clear indication that he knows its become a Corporate thing, knowledge apparently gained offscreen overnight.

But we still love you!!!

Hope you & yours are well.

Felix gets his

5/5

Cáel does seem to have a death wish but obviously the only way to survive here.

RIP Felix, no Cael would not kill him just humiliate him.