All Comments on 'Little Mona'

I will be waiting for the rest of the story.

Not a bad story. You got the idea right but you need to work just a tiny bit on grammar. It built up nicely but the story ended too quickly. Work a little on seduction and tease by the characters and you may have a good one down.

You started in past tense and went into present tense.

Do you realize that? I swear, some people just don't get it when it comes to writing.

Other than that, not too bad of a story.

But it kind of leaves one hanging. Is there going to be more to this story line? Perhaps with Daddy and Mona going all the way, and living as man and wife?