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that's it! And I especially don't like the ending here - it feels really abrupt to me, without the emotional resonance that I want - but I can't figure out a good way to fix it up, so...yeah. Hopefully, if you read this far, you at least found something enjoyable in it. I have vague ideas of something more of a period piece that I may work on in the future. Maybe.
- COMMENTS
Anonymous7 months agoWhile there are many things I can nitpick at, mostly from a personal preference perspective, overall this story was really good. I liked the telling style and it was nice to see it from a female perspective. I agree that the Eric scene was a little much - did it really have to get to pussy licking (feels like an extra unnecessary humiliation)? And being made to think she would be raped? Made me feel queasy. I think that could have been avoided, but what's done is done.
It was a really slow burn overall but I think it was too much considering where it ended up. So much resistance to getting with David, but slowly overcoming it, then a sudden rejection (hate this but it seems to be all too common in these stories sadly), then a traumatic experience, then the realization of what she should've known already: they belong together. I thought Sam was a complex character at first, but in the end, I've come to think she's just a run-of-the-mill damaged woman that thinks she's unworthy of love and sees herself as nothing more than a set of pleasure holes. It made me cringe a little and roll my eyeballs at times, but still, it was an overall enjoyable read.
The ending was a little lacking but I see there is a part 5 available. Gonna check that out.
Axel7over 2 years agoThis is the only part of the 4 I have read that I am not going to vote 5 stars, I understand that the scene with eric and sam was necessary for more drama or conflict but I don't like those types of scenes even more so if it reached to point of cunnilingus, I was hoping that it wouldn't get to that and sam would put a stop to it, I truly disliked sam in this part, and even thinking that David is better off without her and find someone else, maybe that is exactly what you intended when you wrote the scene, I am really into the bro/sis stuff but I rarely dislike the "experienced/slutty" sisters in stories but this one did it for me, you're one heck of an Author, I hope you would find the "mood" to write stories again. Thank you
Anonymousover 2 years agoThis is one of the best stories on vhere. Sell written. Nice slow build up to the finale. Wish I could write half as well.
JaceyTreyover 3 years agoThe ending is perfect. We don't need to know any more. We know she loves him, has accepted his love...that moment...frozen...perfect.
