Little Things Ch. 04 of 04

While there are many things I can nitpick at, mostly from a personal preference perspective, overall this story was really good. I liked the telling style and it was nice to see it from a female perspective. I agree that the Eric scene was a little much - did it really have to get to pussy licking (feels like an extra unnecessary humiliation)? And being made to think she would be raped? Made me feel queasy. I think that could have been avoided, but what's done is done.

It was a really slow burn overall but I think it was too much considering where it ended up. So much resistance to getting with David, but slowly overcoming it, then a sudden rejection (hate this but it seems to be all too common in these stories sadly), then a traumatic experience, then the realization of what she should've known already: they belong together. I thought Sam was a complex character at first, but in the end, I've come to think she's just a run-of-the-mill damaged woman that thinks she's unworthy of love and sees herself as nothing more than a set of pleasure holes. It made me cringe a little and roll my eyeballs at times, but still, it was an overall enjoyable read.

The ending was a little lacking but I see there is a part 5 available. Gonna check that out.

This is the only part of the 4 I have read that I am not going to vote 5 stars, I understand that the scene with eric and sam was necessary for more drama or conflict but I don't like those types of scenes even more so if it reached to point of cunnilingus, I was hoping that it wouldn't get to that and sam would put a stop to it, I truly disliked sam in this part, and even thinking that David is better off without her and find someone else, maybe that is exactly what you intended when you wrote the scene, I am really into the bro/sis stuff but I rarely dislike the "experienced/slutty" sisters in stories but this one did it for me, you're one heck of an Author, I hope you would find the "mood" to write stories again. Thank you

This is one of the best stories on vhere. Sell written. Nice slow build up to the finale. Wish I could write half as well.

The ending is perfect. We don't need to know any more. We know she loves him, has accepted his love...that moment...frozen...perfect.

Fantastic.+++ Thanks.

I absolutely loved this story but I think you are too hard on yourself, too self-critical, too dismissive of your obvious talent. Two examples: 1) In your forward you wrote that you didn't think you captured a feminine voice. I beg to differ and I've thought all along that you are a woman (I noted that your profile didn't specify your gender) ; and 2) In the afterward you wrote that you found the ending too abrupt. Again, I simply don't see this. Samantha"s epiphany, as with the the rest of the story, was presented in a most lyrical prose. In the final paragraph, especially with the brief verbal exchange, I felt you "landed" the story, giving it an earthy, more humanistic ending.

Such a loving story, filled with all the conflict that must arise between siblings on occasion.

Thanks!

Felt like I was there!

but I found Sam's final resolution within character. Once the emotional dam burst, her emotions had to some pouring out until there was nothing left. When she woke up in her bed, she saw what was left - her love for David.

Agreed, the ending was very short. And tells nothing about how they will cope with what is painted as a very conservative set of parents, much less their future.

Wondered a bit about their falling asleep in the barn. Farming is hard work and a lot of work. Not just morning chores but evening chores, too. When Dad returned from town, I expected him to find out where David was and what he was up to. Yes, there's less to do in winter, but there is still a lot to do. And, the mention that dawn was just visible in the window when she wakes up and decides to consummate the relationship. In winter, dawn comes after you at the chores, especially the further north you are. If she saw dawn, David should have been up and out the door already, working with his Dad.

Only a few odd typos or extra words toward the end. After a long missive like this, not surprising (sometimes one hurries toward the final goal), and overall, exceptionally well written. Haven't read the chapter five yet, and based on the hints, wondering about that.

I enjoyed it a lot, but I would've loved to see David fight back or ignore her and be angry at her, and make her fight a little to get him back ya know?

Overall loved it :)