All Comments on 'Lovers Ch. 04'

You have every opportunity to make this a good story. Take these stories off site. Get an editor. Read them again. Then re-read them. Then get a friend to read them. Then maybe post them. Also read your comments. I have seen a lot of constructive criticism that would be helpful.

DocAnkh

You can make this a great story, but you do need an editor and spell check. Follow their suggestions and take your time, but not too much between chapters.

I love stories in which a young man makes his mother &/or sister pregnant. Once you polish this per the suggestions of previous posters, it will make for one hot story!

Making bad comments from non-authors is bad enough, but bad comments from gutless "anonymous" people is both not wanted or needed. I fully support authors rights, and to be able to respond to a person's comments. An anonymous person is a coward, no other word for it.

The sex is hot, but the love is even better. I think both women can share his love, and still feel more loved than if they would have a man of their own.

Thanks for the read

Yes, you need some spell checking and grammar. The dialogue gets better, but you still have room for improvements there. When you finish a story or a chapter, leave it for a while. After some time, read through it again and make the changes you feel is needed. Do this a couple of times and the story will have a much better flow to it. When you work on a story for a long time you get really focused on it. When you leave it for some time, and then read through it again, it's almost as if you see the story with new eyes. Then you will notice errors and structure problems you didn't see when you had your head in the middle of it.

I really like that you made this a love story instead of just about sex like a lot of other authors do. Throw in some pregnancies and you have a winner. =)