by areece
I'm sorry, but this was so disappointing on several levels. I realize that you created a work of fiction, but even so you took plausibility and threw it just as hard as you could right out of the window.
You lead into the main part of the story with: "no I hadn't got a girlfriend, she was single as well after just breaking up with a boy who made to many advances, and so yes, she was still a virgin."
Then a few paragraphs later on: "I tried something a little more adventurous by suddenly moving my hand to feel her breasts. She pulled away and I stopped, but she surprised me by taking her top off instead!"
So let me try and understand this...she breaks up with her boyfriend because he's trying to get into her panties, but she is okay with being a total wanton slut with a total stranger that she JUST met for the first time.
I'm sorry, but you wrote a jerk off fantasy and not an erotic story. 1/5
it was interesting although much of a fantasy...i enjoyed and i look forward to more
... well written, but a it too unlikely, even for Fantasy-land! Keep writing, it's a learning curve.
it´s ok 4 your 1. story. a li´l bit more fantasy would´ve helped. or maybe u could tell me the name of the beach, where all these willing 18 years old virgins live... :-/