All Comments on 'Lusting for Brother'

i hope you continue :D

Your dialog and narrative are well done. Keep up the good writing.

Definately didn't suck.!!

Nothing here sucked, nothing at all! There are people who've been submitting for a long while now who could learn from this. Keep it up, and more, please, soon! 5 stars!

It was alright... I wish you would have gone into detail with what she was wearing... Also you just kind of jump in... There is no seduction to the story... Meet brother and sister... They have sex... The end...

Excellent first story. I was hard almost from beginning. Keep writing, add more buildup and more detail next time, but you're on the way.

that was not bad keep writing and see if you can get an editor . It helps to have someone read your stuff and give advice .Not me though I don't know enough about it to help .Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

thanks a lot for your feedback!

But for your next story drag it out for a bit, before they jump into bed :) . At least i like when it takes a little time, but this was not bad..

Pad it out a bit and, for heaven's sake, pass it by an editor who will correct your numerous spelling and grammar mistakes. It makes it much easier and more enjoyable to read if everything is correct.

You could have her tease him during dinner, e.g. "her breast accidentally touched his bare arm as she reached across the table..." , "as she leaned over the table to pick up their plates, she saw his eyes glance at her low cut top...and her nipples tingled", "their eyes met for a brief moment and she thought she noticed the beginning of a bulge growing in his shorts", "she left the bathroom door ajar as she sat to pee...and waited for his footsteps coming down the hall"....

Lots of ways to get his, and your readers attention! Keep up your good writing! :-)

You are contracts to you're, not your. Try and get this one right, because it really messes up the reading when you have to go back to get the sense right.

Many sister have seen or want to see brother jo. Sometimes other guys don't measure up to what is at home. Siblings helping each other can have great benefits. keep writing you have good perspective

You're off to a good start. Don't be discouraged! You've got a good pair in Jason and Allie -- and you could give more details about Jason: give him some hair on his muscular chest and abs -- he's 23 after all, and a healthy, sexy young man. Allie can rake her fingers through his silky chest hair, and kiss his pecs. Have Allie repay him with a great blow job, since he has licked her pussy.

This is a great description of how plenty of kid sisters feel about their big brother's boy-stuff--his stiff prick and loaded balls. The anon who wrote "nice short story" has it exactly right. In a family, it's inevitable that sister and brother catch exciting glimpses of what each has between their legs that makes them "different." Everyone understands that a brother will be real interested in his sis's adorable little coochie, as Jason is in this story. That's just the way boys are, especially towards their kid sister. But many don't realize that lots of sisters are like Allie. They're enthralled by their big brother's big meaty prick and his heavy balls--and what's in those balls of his. It makes the girls wet between their legs, their cute little cunts literally drip down their legs. That's nature's way of getting sis's sweet coochie ready for her bro to introduce his fat young dick up the honeyhole between his sister's slim legs. Brother and sister smile at each other, it feels so darn natural as the boy stretches his sis's pretty little twat, then he gets serious and fucks his baby sister like there's no tomorrow. Sis cums like crazy, and the boy blows his young balls in his sister, shooting her a great big twatful of his creamy semen. This happens every day of the week, all over the country, lots more than a worried society and scared parents care to know. It's just so convenient and exciting and easy--a sister getting to know her brother's prick, a brother getting to know his sis's cunt--real, real well!

Not bad for a first try.

Some grammatical, thematic and narrative problems, but please don't give up.

I might have made them closer in age (Allie, 18, Jason, 19, perhaps), and maybe had them deflower each other. The idea of a completely exclusive, fairy tale, true-love type of incestuous relationship is irresistible.

Never understood why so many people inject the acts of masturbation and coming inside a highly fertile female into these stories. If an 18-year-old kid is making love to his 48-year-old mom, who's obviously too old to get pregnant, and he ejaculates inside her, that's different. But anything otherwise—unless the girl is menstruating or can't get pregnant for some medical reason—is just irresponsible.

Still, I was able to block out certain things and enjoy this short piece. And if Beach Bum likes it, count yourself lucky. That's high praise indeed.

Keep trying! Let me know if you'd like an editor.

—All the best,

Tristan Sparrow

(INSIST ON THE BEST; INSIST ON INCEST!)

Please more... This is one of the most erotic stories i've read!

great first submission. look forward to the story continuing

wonderful first submission, can't wait to read more!

Waist not waste (I've seen that a lot lately). And you're (you are) your means belonging to you

She might hve enouraged him a bit easier/sooner [not that it was particularly difficult] by saying she'd been on the pill for a couple of years. After all, once he was in her, it should have been clear to him that she was no virgin.

Sweet Brother/Sister love story...

I like it!!! Moremoremoremore!!!

What is the definition of 'virgin?' Admittedly when he penetrated her, there was no hymen to break. Does that mean he wasn't her first man? Not necessarily . . . don't

overlook that dildo! They break hymens too. I say she was a virgin with respect to his penetration. And yes, she should have mentioned the pill.

I would have preferred a bit more romance and less coarse language as they consummated for that first time! Hot story otherwise!

The story was pretty good. but I was reading the comments but they don't make much sense. A couple of them must have missed the part about with she was 16.

I have read a ton of books and stories over the last seven decades and I like this little story. Never mind the nitpickers and naysayers and write what you like and those that like it will tell you and those that don't like it can go suck a rope. As long as your spelling, diction, punctuation are pretty much OK and it is a good story and the facts fit (and yours did) to hell with those that don't like it. It was an exceptional story for a first story so please keep on writing. Thank you.

That is the sort of sister every horny young male should love.

I also loved the story. You put it over so well.

Malcom missed para 2 where it said she had just turned 18. Spelling: It's you're, not your. Waste should have been waist. There were a couple of others . . . get a proof reader next time. Hope she was on the pill!

its a really good story very sexy parting between brother and sister i would reccomend reading this

"as he grabbed the waste of her shorts"

Sorry - This is so bad, and so funny at the same time, I was totally thrown off the flow of the story with laughter.

that story was a true laugh

waist not waste

you're = you are, not your

A mention, either of ondums or being on the pill [little sis might have forged mom's signature to get pills . . .

I think you are a good author , your story made my cock hard and started to leak pre cum

I think you are doing quite a good job just work on your spelling

She sure knew how to seduce him, but It didn't take much,,,

For a first effort, you have done very well. Your descriptive imagery was evocative, your dialogue was real and believable, and the over-all structure worked. (I can't even complain about typos which is my usual gripe about first efforts.)

Please keep writing. You're fun to read.

I was also horny for my older brother after spying on him the same way and discovering that his penis was even larger and thicker than our dad's. (I was a bad girl and peeked at his too). When dad was away on a weekend and it was just my brother and me at home to ourselves, I seduced him by parading around in just a towel wrapped around me. I could see the outline of his big manly penis in his shorts and talked him into letting me touch and play with his throbbing erection until he blew his huge load of hot manly semen all over my thighs and pussy! He licked me to orgasm. It was epic!

Very well written. Can't wait for part 2! Or, any other story you'd like to honor your readers with!

My only negative comment would have to be about the length. Hope any future stories will be longer with more details.

Thank you. For your first try, I would give it a solid 9 (out of 10).

for never finishing the story, but it did start very good ASSHOLE!

I hate writer who never finish what they started especially ones who’s story shows promise..

Need to learn the difference between 'your' which is a possessive pronoun and 'you're' which is a contraction for you are.

Don't be worried about what some people say. You will get better and your stories will be great. Keep writing.

I loved your short story. Keep writing. Thanks, Reeb

I agree with the others and say ignore them as you have a great story and you'll improve over time . Soo looking forward to more chapters . I was my younger sisters first and after our first time we were both so nervous until she got her period

This was a bit quick. More fore play/build up please.

Way to short and not very sexual.

This needed editing, spelling and grammar could use some work.

A little more setup would have been nice to...

So nice to know your sibling is as dirty minded as YOU....

Wish I had a sister like this...