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"Oh my little tortoise, I can't take all the credit for that. You've gotten bolder, and braver since we've been a couple. More secure in who you are as a woman, and what you think and believe, and it's delightful to see. It gives such meaning to my days, to see you thriving in our love like that," he added sweetly.
"But it's the good love, the tender love that has allowed me to grow up. You'd be surprised what...knowing that you'll always be there for me, that you're in my corner, that I can talk to you, and that we can play, and love and I can get back some of those pieces that were missing, those voids that just ripped through me...can do to build courage. Knowing you won't mistreat me, and just that safety that I feel. Today hurt like hell, but you're filling a deep void in me, and in some ways I'm okay with it happening, it helps me see even more how much we meant to each other," she added sweetly.
"Well now speaking of voids, there's a Ferry we need to catch. I hear they have tons of cocoa and marshmallows, and I hear the prettiest girl, she gets to have as much as she wants. And since you're the prettiest one, well, I hope you brought a strong stomach, or someone's going to be sick with a belly full of cocoa, and candies, and anything else she wants today," said Leif with a smile.
And he patted her knee, and she knew she was his most special girl, his favorite woman in the whole world! What a feeling!
***
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 10 years agoI don't mind if Leif kills him, and martin too, rapist should die, I'm a guy. Love this story. Keep going
Anonymousabout 10 years agoFirst of all I love this storyline and these characters but it's coming of as very repetitive and the dialogue feels very mechanical and awkward. They honestly don't sound like hip young 20 something's to me. The people in this story don't seem to possess their own unique voices and they all sort of sound the same. A lot of the dialogue seems like cheesy gobbly goo that comes up in each sentence. The plot is great but the dialogue is coming off as very unnatural for me. Maybe work on fine tuning specific characteristics in each character's diction. Also, Leif's parental male role comes off as sort of sexist which contradicts his liberal hippy persona. Also Leif calling Lynn his little girl rubs me the wrong way. Despite all of this, you're still a great writer and I can't wait to see what happens next.
mssoft2hldabout 10 years agoI was hooked when I read the first chapter but as each chapter is submitted I find myself skimming more. there is A LOT of repetition in your writing, it seems they cannot go 2 seconds without a long drawn out declaration of love. Reading it, it doesn't even seem like a dialogue sometimes.... For some reason the word diatribe(yes I know what it means) pops in my head when they go on and on with the "oh leify ...." or the "oh lynney..." (thank the lord you stopped with all the oh's). Some times... just sometimes it seems as though you are looking for filler, that is just how I felt. The words Tender and Sensual are used VERY often. There has to be some other words to describe their affection for each other. I enjoys the progression of the characters although Leif being her father figure borders the sweet and the unhealthy. I guess what I'm saying is I would like to see this written with more of an actual conversation not just them rattling off sonnets of devotion. Overall this is your art and apparently you have done something right because we all are waiting to read more.
REED13about 10 years agoI THINK LEIF HANDLED THAT VERY WELL AND I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER WITH! GOOD CHAPTER, LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE!;)
