All Comments on 'Maddie in Cancún Ch. 04'

nice and erotic. Loved the visualisation. Was a bit too hard to believe with what happened when well caught them. Maybe have him join in. needs some fixing there. Otherwise good job

Thats what I.m thinking, cause Sam is a allien, with mind control ability, cause if not he'd be in jail or Will would have picked something up and beat his ass, even if he is from the U.K. Should have put this masterpiece in Sci-Fi, but as your just 16 you have time to get better. This could also have gone in humor, but keep up the good work.

Both Maddie and Will are loosers. Her for dealing with the preditor again and him leting her back in the hotel room. On the beach he should have just kicked Sam in the head, no need to say anything. You needed to change will's reaction to Sam and 3-4 more paragraphs as he tells Maddie not to come back to the hotel, as he cashes in her plane ticket (he paid for it right?), and leaves her in a foreign country with nothing but a bikini. Of course she could make good money like that right?

HaHaHaHa she so stupid dude cant be that gud