Maddy's Day

"I know Martin, I love you too," she replied as she climbed into her car.

The next day I saw her on TV talking about the beach cleanup and the Earth day events. She seemed so much older than when we walked up into the dunes, the lines in her face more distinct, underneath her arms skin sagged and she seemed a bit wobbly as she spoke. I spent the rest of the day wondering about what she said, that line from the old movie, "Sometimes wanting is better than having."

Would we have been happy together or would I have failed her as a husband like I did with ex-wives one through three? Well, ex-wife one might have been an exception but I did certainly fail the other two. Was it better to have spent my life wanting her, than to have had her and hurt her? Or if things were different, could we have made it, could we have been truly happy?

Several months later I found I had a voice mail, not the usual call from a creditor or salesman, no, I recognized Katherine's voice. Rewinding, I turned up the message and learned that Maddy had died. When I returned the call Katherine told me she died of complications from an ongoing bout with cancer. The environment she worked so hard to clean up had ultimately killed her.

I sat with Katherine at the funeral and before I left to head back home I whispered to her, "You know I loved Maddy, I loved her from the day I met her."

"I know Martin, I did too." I kissed her on the cheek, took one look back as the winch slowly lowered the casket into the ground and then walked to my rental car. The world was just that much lonelier now.