Marriage Anonymous

"Hi, my name is Rod, and I have a wife."

"Hi Rod." I said. Rod was new, new to me anyway. I hadn't seen him before.

"I don't know what to say, or how this works, can I just tell my story?"

"That's just how it works, Rod." said Lenny. "We share here, and try to find something common between us, all of us." He looked at Karen and the big blonde next to her.

""Okay then," said Rod, "I am seventy-four, my wife is seventy." He grinned. "I kinda robbed the cradle there, didn't I?" A few guys laughed.

"My wife is the best wife anyone ever had." He said. "We've been married for more than forty years now. We had kids. They're all grown and gone now, hear from them from time to time. They don't visit so much anymore. Got grandkids too. It's been a good life, it has. Rough the last few years, pretty rough. But we held on, together. But now, I see the end and I don't have a clue. She going, she's gonna be gone soon, and I'll be alone. I don't look forward to that. Not one bit."

He'd been looking at his shoes, not unusual around here. "She's in the Home now, and I see her every day. They let me feed her sometimes. She doesn't know me anymore, doesn't talk anymore." He looked out at the little group. "It's been so long. Us, we been together so long. If she goes, when she goes, I have no idea what to do. Some guys I heard of, they just have a little accident with their medicine. Some fall off a high place. I don't know if I can do that." He looked around. "A lot of you guys, you're divorced, or getting' to divorced. What then? Can you help me? When it's over, when she's gone; what then?"

Yeah, what then?

***********************

I sat in the kitchen and waited for my wife to notice that I was there. She was home. She and Jeremy were upstairs laughing about something. I didn't go up there anymore, since I had installed a bar and some hooks to hang clothes from in my closet. I put stuff under the cot, in boxes. Pretty efficient.

I hadn't had a meal with either of them in ages. It wasn't worth it, the comments from Angie, the sullen looks from Jeremy. I had let her draw me into an argument a few months back, she had called Jeremy the "Man of the House". I couldn't believe it. I had put down my fork and looked at Jeremy. He smirked. I couldn't believe it. Did I say that I couldn't believe it? I couldn't believe it.

"Man of the House?" I asked.

'THE Man of the House!" Said Angie, challenging me to argue.

"I am the only one here with a job. I pay for everything. I pay the rent. Jeremy doesn't do that. I pay all the bills. Jeremy doesn't do that. If something breaks I fix it. Jeremy doesn't do that. I take care of you two because it's what a man with a family does. Jeremy doesn't do that.

"And you will continue to do all that, if you know what's good for you!" Yelled Angie.

"So, what is it that Jeremy does that makes him the "Man of the House?" I asked.

And thus began the long silence, broken only by the sound of Angie's harridan screeching.

***********************

I waited, and not in vain. Angie came in ignoring me as usual.

"May I ask a question, Angie?" I asked.

"NO!" she replied, walking past me.

"Do you remember loving me?"

"No! I never loved you!" She stopped and glared at me.

I thought about what she had said for a while.

"I remember it differently." I said, as I got up and went to my closet.

***********************

"So," said Lenny, "what are you going to do Ross?"

Why'd he have to single me out?

"About what, Lenny?"

"Your situation with your wife and son." said Lenny. Oh, that.

"Ultimately, I don't know. I can't, or at least won't go on this way for ever. I think at Christmas I'll just quit my job and see what happens."

"Why would you do that Ross?" asked Lenny.

"I can't divorce her. I would lose half of everything, plus some kind of alimony. I couldn't afford keeping her in the manner that she has become accustomed. Not and also pay rent on an apartment and eat. I wouldn't even mind losing half of the accumulated wealth, such as it is. I just couldn't make enough of a living to even survive the payments.

"But if I were unemployed when I file, if we are living on my savings when we divorce, I might be able to find a job later, and find a place to live. Maybe a settlement with smaller alimony payments, a lower standard of living for all of us, I think I could do that.

"And to be a little honest, I'm tired. I have worked for decades for her, and nineteen years for Jeremy. I admit that not working for them for a while would be nice."

Karen found something to say about my thoughts on retirement from my family.

"So you would abandon your obligation to take care of your family? Just walk away and not look back?"

"And continue to support them. I am not talking about leaving them to starve. I am just trying to leave them in a way that leaves me enough money to live on." I reflected for a moment. "Living in a closet has taught me that I can get by fine on very little in the way of possessions."

"Closet?" asked Lenny.

"Yeah. I got tired of sleeping on the sofa, so I sold the office desk, and filled the space it was in with a cot. The room is about five feet by seven feet. I live there now. It's cozy."

"You should make her sleep there and you take the master bedroom." said Barry. For Barry this was a pretty tame suggestion.

Jim suggested that I "Fuck her 'till she realizes what she's been missing and comes to her senses!" No.

And again, Lenny turned to Karen and asked; "What would you do?"

Lenny was doing that a lot these days, asking one of the women to contribute. Usually Karen, too.

Karen looked at me, and she didn't smile, she kind of anti-smiled. Not as if she were angry at me, but more like she was not happy to be asked for her opinion. And she used to be so free with it, with her opinion. Before Lenny had asked her what she would do if she were in his shoes.

"Do you still love her, Ross?" she asked.

"I don't think so." I said. "It makes me sad, but I think now that I only used to love her."

Karen thought about this for awhile.

"She won't talk to you, really?" she asked.

"No." I said.

"Don't surprise her. Tell her, even if she pretends she isn't listening. Tell her what you are going to do, and why."

"And then do it? Carry through and stop the money coming in, and see where we all land?"

"What else can you do Ross? They can't make you work for them, any more than you can make them love you."

"One more question Ross." said Lenny. "Is the any possibility that Angie still loves you?"

I thought for a second. "I guess not, she now says that she never did. But I could always ask her before I tell her about the end of the free ride."

So, a plan was born. A dumb plan, but really, finally, an end-game plan.

***********************

It was only two days later, on Saturday, that I sat down in Angie's way. I took a chair from the kitchen table, put its back in front of the coffee maker, and sat in it. I changed my mind after only a moment, loaded and started the coffee maker, and sat down again.

I so much more respect a fait accompli than an ultimatum, don't you?

And of course, Angie was a step ahead of me. I had barely started to tell her about the new way things were going to be, when she dropped her little bombshell on me.

"Pregnant!?" I yelled.

"Shut up," said Angie, "you'll wake up Jeremy."

I sat, stunned for a few minutes. I struggled to figure out how she had managed that, after the report from Sam the detective. Unless Sam had lied. But why would he do that? Was my wife pregnant with Sam's kid? One thing was for sure, this changed things. She was a cheater, no doubt.

"I thought that I couldn't divorce you," I said, "but I see that I was wrong about that. I can divorce you. I will divorce you. Whoever the father of your child is can support you without me."

"But darling husband, this is your child." Angie smiled. I think it had been more than a year since I had last seen her smile. It wasn't worth the wait.

"Nice try, but as soon as this kid is born a genetic test will prove that I am not the father."

"Oh but honey, a genetic test will show that this beautiful, wonderful child is yours."

Angie had lost her sanity. I don't have a brother. I hadn't been drunk in the last few years. I had never given a sample to a sperm bank. But I wasn't here to argue with her. I got up and went to my closet.

"Going to hide in your closet again?"Angie sneered.

"No," I said, "I am going to pack some clothes and stuff that I will need now that I am living in my car."

Angie laughed. "You're running away? What a wimp!"

I started by taking shirts off of hangers, and folding them into a cardboard box from under my cot.

"You haven't been a wife to me for over a year now. Jeremy shows me no respect either. You two get along so well, you should be very happy without me. And I might not be happy living in my car, but I will derive some satisfaction from not supporting people who hate me." I pulled all my clothing boxes from under my cot. I pulled a sweater from its hook and put it on, then pulled my coat off its hook and put it on too.

I took the box of shirts and carried it to the front door. In the bottom of the box were papers that I should have kept someplace safe. I guess that my car would have to do for a while.

Angie put her mad face on and yelled "You are not leaving here!"

I pulled the door open and said "Shhhh! You'll wake Jeremy." I put the shirts in the trunk of my car and went back to my closet. On the way I heard Angie yelling at Jeremy to get up. I took two boxes the second trip. When I returned for more boxes, Jeremy was just coming out of the master bedroom, looking kind of dazzled.

Master Bedroom? "Jeremy!" I said. "Did you sleep with your mom last night?"

"Wha. . .?" said Jeremy.

"How dare you. . ." Angie started to scream at me, but I interrupted her.

"Jeremy!" I yelled. "Did you get your mother PREGNANT?"

I looked at Angie, and she looked like she couldn't think of anything to say. Wow.

I got the last box, piled shoes on top, and went back to my car. I put the box and the shoes into the trunk then I got in and backed out of the driveway, stopping in the street. I rolled down the window and yelled, "Angie! There is no money in the checking or savings accounts, and your credit card doesn't work anymore! One of you two had better find some way to make a living! After all, you two have a new baby on the way!"

Angie screamed a bunch of stuff at me and at Jeremy. I rolled my window back up and drove away. I might have felt sorry for Jeremy, if he hadn't been fucking my wife.

***********************

At the next meeting I walked up to Karen. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Do you have something to tell me Ross?" She asked.

"Yeah, I do." I said. "Things didn't go as planned, but I'll tell my story to the whole group."

"Okay. I can wait." Just then Lenny walked up to her and took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers. She smiled at him. When did this happen?

I couldn't help myself, I grinned at them. This wasn't the kind of place where I would go to find someone, but I guess it happens when and where it happens. I was going to have to tell Karen where I got the cinnamon rolls.

Barry was there, with his wife it turned out. She had the strangest look on her face. Jim brought her a coffee, and Barry paid no attention as Jim massaged her shoulders. Where had that come from? Where would it lead? I could guess, but decided not to.

Karen was talking to the big blond that she had been sitting with a lot the last few months, leaning over her where she sat with a hand on each shoulder. They talked quietly, and the blond was nodding.

Lenny was calling the meeting to order, and people were sitting down and getting quiet. It's good that we have Lenny, the peacemaker. Everyone liked him, respected him.

"Who wants to start?" Lenny asked. I started to stand, but the blond stood up first.

"Hi, I'm Sheila, and I have a wife."

Oh yeah, the meetings are all the same, and every single one is different.

Life is just like that, I guess. Ultimately fatal, but until that last moment, isn't it fascinating?

I would be fine. I would. So ultimately would Angie and Jeremy.

And Lenny, and Karen, and even Jim and Barry, and probably even Rod. Shoot, I'll even include Barry's wife in that.

Somehow, this little losers club had become home. Some of us had somehow become friends, real friends. We loved each other like friends do. And while that's not romantic love, it is love, and should not to be squandered.

THE END