Menopause, a Chronicle

"Why are you mad at her? She didn't take me away from you. We aren't cheating. Yet you don't want her to enjoy life. I don't understand you."

"I want you back! I want the curtains back up in our bedroom, the kids rooms put back together and things back like they were!"

"It can't happen. Well over half the stuff from those rooms made it to the city dump. After Alison left I burnt the curtains from both rooms. Those things and those days are gone. Blame me. I'm the bastard who got his heart ripped out. I married a woman I loved. She wanted kids so we had kids. I worked hard to be a good dad and the kids tell me I did well. I didn't want kids. I wanted you. They made you happy so I became Dad and Daddy. I aimed at the day when the last one would pack up and go. They went. Years later I discover you wouldn't let them pack up and go. You wanted a tether, a pull to get them to come back. Shelly was still calling that room "My room" nine years after she left! I waited so I could travel with my girl, my lover my best friend. I hung in there while you went through peri-menopause and entered menopause. What did I get? "I want to go to Mexico, just not with you."

She went to her room and came back with the tickets. She dropped them on the table and walked back to her room. I called the cruise line from my cave. By the time Alison arrived I only needed her passport number, her driver's license number and her date of birth to transfer the booking. I told the booking agent I would call back on Thursday.

At eight-fifty I was in the kitchen waiting for Alison. I watched the lights of her car and went out to meet her. As I stepped to her car I noticed the kitchen curtains at the Clarke's house move a little. I opened Alison's door and as she stood I embraced and kissed her. We carried wine and clothes into the house. We hung the clothes in her closet and she dumped a bag of shoes on the floor of that closet. We kissed again.

She said, "You know the neighbor lady was watching me arrive."

"She watched us kiss too. Sweetheart, I'm not ashamed of us, embarrassed by us or the least bit worried by us. Far as I know we haven't broken a single law. If Mrs. Clarke comes over and tells Amanda about you spending the night, Amanda can tell her to mind her own business."

Her arms went around my neck and we kissed again. We heard Amanda's cell ring. We both sputtered thinking it was Mrs. Clarke. Three minutes later Amanda knocked on our door. I took off my shirt and opened the door.

"Mrs. Clarke just called to tell me that she saw the two of you kissing in our driveway, and it wasn't the first time!"

"I hope you told her to stop watching to see what the neighbors are doing."

"No. I told her I knew about it and I was not going to explain our lives to her."

"Good for you!" I waited. Alison was sitting on the bed with her shoes off. One button undone on her blouse. I said, "Was there something else?"

"No. What do you want for breakfast?"

Alison said, "I can make breakfast for us."

Amanda had a sudden mood swing. With anger dripping from her like venom she said, "This is still my house! I make breakfast. I've made the breakfast here for over thirty-years. I hope oatmeal is Ok, cause that's what I'm making!" She closed our door and a few seconds later we heard her door close, louder.

Alison whispered, "I'm sorry. I was trying to be nice."

"You are nice. You also have too many clothes on."

We undressed and our clothes went into the hamper. We showered and I noticed the patch of hair above her slit was gone. I cupped her mound and she said, "A woman I work with told me that men hate getting hair caught in their teeth." I made like I was pulling a foot long hair from my teeth and said, "Yeah, I remember Monday morning."

She hit me and said, "I've never had a hair that long!"

We made it to bed before ten. We tried a couple new positions and when we were in cowgirl Alison asked, "Remember what I asked about sleeping at both houses?"

"Yes. You wanted me to think about it. I did." I held her hips and moved up when she moved down and held her down, against me while I ground myself against her.

She lifted and said, "Well?"

"I don't think it's a good idea." I flipped her over and spooned behind her sliding in and out of her while I held her breast. She was getting close.

We mated until she had cum and I pulled out. She turned and said, "Remind me not to talk to you while we're joined. You can't think!"

"I don't think sleeping at two houses is a good idea. That's what we've done for twenty years or more. I want you in bed with me!"

She hit me again and said, "I pray you aren't really that dumb!"

"I love the idea. I'll be at your house at nine tomorrow night."

"Come to me straight from work. Bring some clothes. I have razors, toothbrushes, soap, shampoo and a warm pussy for your exclusive use."

"Do you have sheets with little flowers on them?"

"I do! You want them on the bed?"

"No. But if you're in the bed, I really don't care what sheets are on the bed."

I rolled her onto her back and reentered her. We mated as slowly and tenderly as I could manage. It was well after eleven when we cleaned up and snuggled towards sleep.

My mind remembered the tickets and whispered, "Can you get a week off in three weeks?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Cause I'm taking you on a seven day cruise to Mexico and it works best if you can go with me."

It was after midnight when we went to sleep. We ate with Amanda in the morning. As the three of us cleaned up Amanda said, "I appreciate how quiet you are."

I said, "Tonight when I get off work I'm going over to Alison's. I wrote Alison's number on our kitchen white board and said, "If there's an emergency call my cell or Alison's."

Amanda set her coffee down on the table and asked, "Is this going to be a regular thing?"

Alison said, "He's invited to move in, spend a night now and then, on a schedule or however he wants it. Our agreement is that we spend three nights here a week, three nights and my home and he sleeps here without me, once a week. Let me be clear, Amanda. Mike knew I loved him and he knew I loved Nick too. We never kissed until the night I stayed here. Our first kiss was on the back porch that night. I'd like to have him to myself, but I get how much he loves you and has loved you for thirty-some years. Right now, I'll settle for any piece of him I can have."

Amanda quickly left the room and as she entered the hallway we heard her sob. Alison said, "I didn't say that to hurt her, just to be clear. She could be thinking weird things. I don't want secrets."

"That's why we're having dinner together this weekend."

During the day I called Alison's information in and changed the reservation for the cruise. They sent a packet to her full of information about the cruise. I remembered that years before Mike and I had talked about taking Amanda and Alison on a cruise, with no kids. I wondered how he'd feel about me taking Alison and not Amanda.

I looked at the paper where Alison had written her information. Amanda's birthday was in July, 1968. Alison's birthday was in October of the same year. They were almost the same age. They were the same height and very close in weight. Alison loved having her breasts sucked, squeezed and mauled. Amanda didn't want to be touched.

After I finished a project at work I went to the cafeteria and got a drink. A co-worker walked up to me and said, "I heard a rumor about you."

I said, "Tell me quick! I love rumors."

"Rumor says you and Amanda are getting a divorce."

"I wonder where the rumor got started? Don't rumors usually have some fact to start with?"

"I don't know where it started, but I was told someone saw you buying manly sheets and things like a bachelor would buy. Married guys don't buy stuff like that."

"Did the rumor say one of us moved out? Filed for divorce? Have I changed my emergency contact information in HR?"

"I don't know. Have you?"

"Pretty stupid rumor. If I buy a shovel does it mean I'm burying a body in my back yard?"

"So, you deny you're getting a divorce?"

"I haven't filed for divorce. I don't intend to file for a divorce. What Amanda plans I won't know until I'm served, if I'm served. Let's start a more interesting rumor. You are getting a divorce! Your wife saw how you watch Carolyn Barnes in accounting and she thinks your fooling around. Now, that's a juicy rumor. Your job is to tell five people before quitting time today. I'll tell five and we'll see how long it takes to become true."

He turned and walked quickly away. I wondered if he was dumb enough to spread the rumor.

As I approached my truck I saw a reason for the rumor. Hanging from the garment hook behind my seat were enough clothes for a week. A duffle bag was on the passenger seat. Connie Guzman from HR was standing beside my truck.

I smiled and unlocked the truck.

She asked, "Nick, can I check something with you?"

"I haven't filed for a divorce, changed my marital status and I don't have a plan to do so. If the clothes hanging in my truck has some detrimental effect on my job performance I'll explain them. Otherwise, I don't think what I do on my off time is any of the company's business."

"OK. You're a valued employee and I just wanted to make sure everything was Ok."

"Everything isn't Ok. Five weeks ago my life turned to crap! I'm coping and my life is improving in many ways, but not all. Yes, I'm still going on vacation in two weeks." I got in my truck and started the engine. "Is it Ok if I leave now?"

"Yes. I'm sorry if I seemed intrusive."

I closed the door, put the truck in Reverse and backed away from MS Guzman. Twenty minutes later I slid into a parking spot in front of Alison's house and she came out the front door. I started to get out and she said, "Honey, Park in the garage."

It felt strange moving my truck into her garage. That side of her two-car garage was for her husband's car. I knew she didn't have a husband. She had me. It still felt strange.

She met me in the garage. She handed me a garage opener and two keys. She kissed me and said, "One key opens the front door and the other the back door." I looked at what she'd given me and I put the garage opener on the visor next to the one for my garage.

She carried the duffle bag and I carried the clothes. Her next door neighbor was sweeping their driveway when we walked out of the garage. He said "Hi" to Alison and she introduced us. "Nick this is Walter. Walter this is Nick. He lives here sometimes."

We went inside. As we passed through the kitchen I saw enough food for five or six people, not an intimate dinner for two. We got my clothes put away and the duffle emptied before I asked. "Who else is coming for dinner?"

"My parents. I told Brian and Kenny about us a week ago. Mom and Dad live up in San Luis Obisbo so I hadn't told them yet. Brian told them yesterday. Today I got a call from Santa Barbara, they were already half way here."

"Where are they?" I looked around.

"Daddy is a smart man. He and Mom are at a hotel, to give us privacy and so I could prepare you for what he calls The Inquisition."

"Call him. Tell him I remember meeting him when Brian and Scott were on a soccer team that won the championship when they were in eighth grade. He came all the way to watch that game! Tell them I'm ready for The Inquisition." I remembered thinking when I met him that he could easily have a role on "The Sopranos".

She kissed me again and called. When she hung up I asked, "Ok. How much time do we have?"

"At least half an hour. Mom was doing her hair."

"Good! We have time for a quickie!" I reached for her. She squealed and ran just fast enough to get caught. I kissed her a few times, squeezed her ass and pressed her front against mine. In a few minutes we did break apart and Alison said, "We need to get dinner on the table. You can continue the attack on my person after they go back to the hotel. I promise."

We got dinner on the table. We sat on the couch and I asked, "What does Dad want to know?"

"That you aren't taking all my fortune. That you love me. He wants to know when the divorce will be final and if you intend to marry me. Nick, he's seventy. He thinks like a man of his generation. He still thinks long-haired-hippy-freak is one word. He loves me and he knows how hard the last three years have been for me."

"Take a deep breath. If he loves you he'll take one look and know I love you, too."

The front door opened and Dad and Mom walked in. Dad was in a suit, with vest. Very shined shoes. Salt and a little pepper hair. We both stood and I put my hand out. Dad said, "Now, go easy on me. This isn't a contest." I squeezed, but not hard. Mom didn't put her hand out, she opened her arms, first to Alison and then to me.

We uncovered serving plates and sat for dinner. Dad said "Grace". As the food was passed I asked, "Who gets the first question of The Inquisition?"

Dad looked at me and said, "I do. I'm not sure how I feel about my daughter dating a married man. My first instinct is to be against it."

"I can understand that. What is the question?"

"Why should I change my mind and be for the two of you having a whatever your having?"

"Look at Alison. Remember last time you saw her? Which time did she look happier? I know the answer. This time. If you want details about my marriage, I'll give them to you but... they aren't as important as this one detail: Our lives are better for both of us than either life was with us somewhere else."

Momma asked, "Are you getting a divorce?"

"This Sunday Alison, her boys and their spouses, Amanda and our three children and their spouses are having dinner together. My intention is to give everyone time and space to ask all the questions and get the answers. All at the same time. I hope it will help us have fewer misunderstandings about what happened and what's happening. I suspect that at the end of that dinner Amanda will be ready to file for divorce. I won't contest it. I honestly want her to be happy. She isn't happy married to me."

"Why aren't you filing?" Dad asked.

"When the break happened I didn't know it happened. We went to a family birthday party for Amanda. I gave her a present we had talked about over the years as something we'd do when the kids were grown and out. On the way home from the party she asked if we could sell the tickets back to the cruise line. I asked if I'd booked the wrong cruise. She said, "No. I'd like to go to Mexico, I just don't want to go with you."

Dad said, "Jesus! No warning?"

"Looking back there was lots of warning. There were four thousand hot flashes, eighteen thousand mood swings and months of bitchy behavior. But, being a man I chalked all of it to menopause and believed it would pass and she would be the loving wonderful woman I married thirty some years ago. Her statement in the truck that night devastated me. The next morning she clarified that what she said wasn't what she meant. What she meant was that cruises are romantic and she didn't want to be near me when the atmosphere was romantic because then I would want sex. She announced our sex life was over. Completely over."

Dad asked, "What did you do?"

"I cleaned out the kids old rooms and moved her out of our room into one of their rooms. I got our kids to finally clean out their rooms and take their stuff. I stayed in the master bedroom. I fixed up her new room so it met her needs better. I even bought her an electric blanket so she wouldn't be cold sleeping alone."

"But you stayed and she stayed." Momma said. I nodded.

"I love her. I think her hormones are screwed up and her head is twisted but... "

Alison said, "Nick loves her. One of the things I've always loved about Nick is how loyal he is. Her birthday was in July. He has hung in there with her. The sex stopped long before her birthday. Menopause has been really hard on her. Last time they had sex was last year. On her birthday she destroyed any hope, any promise that she might be a sexual partner ever again. He still didn't leave."

"How did you get in the middle?" Dad asked.

"He bought new linens for his bed. Then he asked if I could make curtains for his bedroom. We spent most of a Saturday making and hanging curtains at his home. Amanda was there. At the end of the day Nick asked her if she wanted to go with us and get dinner. She said she had already eaten. She told us to have a nice evening and if I was still there for breakfast she'd make breakfast."

"No!" Momma said. We both nodded.

"So, you stayed?"

"You both know I loved Mike and I loved Nick all the time the boys were growing up. Amanda gave us permission to let that love loose. Nick isn't cheating! We're loving each other!"

It was quiet around the table for a long time. Finally Dad asked, "Is there anything for dessert?"

Alison dashed to the kitchen and came back with a berry cobbler and vanilla ice cream.

When dad was scraping the bottom of his bowl he asked, "When she files, will she get the house?"

"It was mine before I met Amanda. I can't see how she can get it. I also can't see how I can keep it. In the division of property we'll need to sell it and divide the money.

Dad nodded. Alison said, "Maybe not. This house is free and clear. We could give this house to her for her half of your house and you could keep it."

"You'd be willing to lose this house?" I asked.

"There's three things I value in this house. Memories of raising the boys and sharing it with Mike are two. Loving you is the third. I can take all three wherever you are."

I thought and said, "On Sunday, let's not say anything about a divorce. I want Amanda to have what she wants for her life to work, within the limitations that my life needs to work too and the newest limitation, that your life works too."

Dad said, "I wish we were going to be here. That sounds like that dinner will be very interesting."

I said, "I apologize for not thinking to invite you. My own parents died while I was in college. Amanda's parents died when she was pregnant with Kelly. I didn't think deep enough."

Momma said, "Be sure to call us after and tell us all about it."

We agreed. Momma stood and Dad followed her lead. I asked, "Am I to be burnt at the stake?"

Dad hugged me and laughed. "No fire, at least until Sunday. Far as I'm concerned you're a good husband for my daughter, starting now."

I got a kiss from Momma and they were gone. We cleaned up dinner in almost silence. When it was all clean Alison took my hand and led me into the bedroom.

"You did good." She said.

"I'm proud to have your Dad say I'm your husband."

"I want a ring."

"Monday morning Ok? Or Saturday?"

"I want to wear it to dinner Sunday. I don't want or need an engagement ring. Just a wide gold band on my finger."

We were in bed by nine-thirty. Alison had two orgasms from my mouth and fingers before my cell rang. I found it in may pants pocket and answered. Amanda said, "Something's wrong."

"What?"

"This is not going to work. This house is too quiet with me here all alone. I don't care if you bring her, but you have to come home, now!"

"I told you it was Ok to call if it was an emergency. You being alone is not an emergency. If you didn't want to sleep alone you could have kept sleeping with me. Now that boat has sailed. You aren't sleeping with me. You want someone? Call Shelly or Kelly? Maybe even Beth." I hung up.

"You are the most patient man I've ever known." Alison said. She welcomed me back in bed and pushed a breast into my face. I mumbled, "Thank you" as I sucked. Amanda didn't call back.

When I got home Wednesday night Amanda wasn't home. Dinner was wrapped in aluminum foil and had a note on it. "Here's your dinner. I'll be home late. "A""