All Comments on 'Mittens'

More please. <3

An unbeatable combination. Very much looking forward to more!

Best compliment I can give--- you made me late for work :)

Awesome! Bring on the mittens!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!

This story was a great story shit it had to closed my legs real tight a couple if times, great job

Dear God, I cannot wait!

Brilliant writing from a talented and twisted mind. Tough style to write in, but you seemed to pull it off.

It had all the best things with the hotness: badass nerdy geek girl, bestfriends as lovers, giggling over sex... Really, it was all really relatable in a certain way which made it super awesome and way sexier. Write more please!

Wow that was one of the best stories I've read on here in a long while! Loved the kinky element, got me wishing I was Nina :p You're a very talented writer and can't wait for more...

YAY!

Loved it. Sam is pretty entertaining. Can't wait for the mittens!

While all those exclamation points may seem slightly over-the-top, please understand that most stories here focus on the mechanics of kink without really letting any of the emotions underneath bleed through. That is why this is a great tale. It is emotional, sensual, kinky, erotic and the characters manage to be loving throughout the entire process. A near perfect balance of lustful, physical fetish and emotional depth. Playful and touching all at the same time. The perfect balance of peanut butter and chocolate, like a Reese's peanut butter cup. 5 stars is all that can be given, but it deserves so much more.

You did a couple of things very well (the more difficult aspects of writing mind you) while at the same time you crashed and burned technically (I understand that the style is intentionally disjointed but still). In addition to that, there is a definite discrepancy between the character building of Samantha and Nina.

Character building: You spent a lot of time exploring not only how Samantha's mind works but why it works the way it does. Samantha's interactions had depth, emotion and were logical based on what we know of her. She is the lonely, socially awkward individual who doesn't have a whole lot of experience dealing with people. Despite her flaws, she still has depth and genuinely cares about her partner.

At the same time though, we don't get a whole lot to work with concerning Nina's personality. The word that comes to my mind first and foremost is "reactionary," followed by a blank. She doesn't generally act on her own, relying instead on her brilliant but anxious partner to push things forward. I'm mean sure, she's got a lot of love for Samantha, is willing to teach and to be patient but those aren't personality traits; they're side-effects of reacting to Samantha. I don't know, there's just something about the Nina character that falls short with me.

A couple of quick lessons: "so that" is either wrong or the "that" is unnecessary. The only time those two words should be together in that order is in dialog used like: '"So, that's your car huh?" She asked with derision dripping off of every word.'

Ex. "I took the day off today so we could play."

ex. 2. "I took the day off today so that we could play."

While both are correct in this instance, "so that" won't be correct in every instance "so" will be. It's best to stick with "so" for consistency reasons (a copy editor I recently met told me that if I can't be correct, I should at least be consistent).

"And then," while not technically wrong is an eye-sore. The effect those two words have when together is to make whatever you're writing read like a list. "And then we went to the mall, and then we found some cute jeans, and then we saw some boys we liked..." It essentially enables a run-on list - and reminds one of teenage girls in the process.

Oxford commas or commas after conjunctions (and, or, for, nor, yet, but, so and ;) aren't required. It's an old practice that is in the process of being phased out.

Again, I realize you're trying to match your writing style to the human thought process but go easy on the commas and no more double usage of the word "and" in your lists.

Okay, this is getting crazy-long so I'll end it on a positive note: You did an excellent job using both dialog and introspection to convey what your characters were thinking and feeling at any given time (so fucking rare, even in pro-level literature). While Nina wasn't always consistent (there's that word again), Samantha was always dead-on.

Thanks for sharing and I look forward to your next (and more technically sound) piece.

Oxford commas are commas used BEFORE conjunctions. Example: "Tom like's big butts, and he cannot lie."

The comma before and isn't technically incorrect but it isn't necessary either.

knows so much about everything. He doesn't even know that plurals require no apostrophe.

Shawn, thanks for your input. You're right, Nina is a little bit less fleshed-out than Sam - that's something I'm working on correcting in High-Voltage Mittens, which is up to about 20,000 words right now and should be done within a month or two. :)

This was frustrating to read. I feel like I am being jerked back and forth between flash forwards, backwards, and sideways, and floating in and out of dreams and realities. It's just too confusing for me. Also I know some people like the jerky writing with the single word sentences and all the italics, but it made me feel like I was reading poetry maybe. But the descriptions and the build-up to the sex were fantastic and all-world. So I certainly wouldn't advise you to change anything for the "simple" readers like me, because maybe it will interfere with what is working too. It was still a great read. I look forward to your next story.

Well I enjoyed it continue on don't listen to haters everything isn't perfect its the fucking internet.

First and foremost, try to keep in mind that she has already published the story on Amazon so she's obviously looking to share her work with a broader audience (she may be looking to build a following using free stories with aspirations of charging money later). As such, she is probably (based on her comments, it's safe to make this assumption) open to critiquing. I'm sorry but I thought the point of the comment section was to give the author honest feedback and helpful advice - did I not do that? As for the know-it-all comment, I really am omniscient - I'm glad you picked up on that (I'm also witty, charming, handsome and fucking hilarious too).

Anons aside, there are a few things I want to share with you as a fellow aspiring author. I'm not sure whether or not you've heard of it FeatherWatt but there is a website called smashwords(dot)com that helps aspiring authors get their work out there. The creator of the site (a veteran in the advertising field) has written a couple of free books (can be found on smashwords) that outline some basic, common sense do's and don'ts that'll help you spread the word. The best part about the books is you don't need to use smashwords' services for the information to be helpful (it doesn't hurt that it's an entertaining read either).

Nina, Nina, Nina... Without a clear vision of what you're going for, there's not a lot I can say about her. The only thing I can say that I haven't already is her physical description was perfect so when I say "fleshing out," I'm commenting on her mind and motives, not her body.

As I mentioned before, you have a very unique way of approaching the storytelling process with massive amounts of dialog and introspection that help us, as readers, get inside your character's heads (For the love of fuck, don't ever change that). I, as mentioned before, enjoyed your attempt at emulating the human thought process. To few stories (on Lit and in general) don't give their characters a chance to show the audience who they are as people; you did a beautiful job of that.

In the last line I meant "too many stories," not "to few." I Just recently learned the difference between "to" and "too" myself so I still make that mistake.

Thanks again,

ShawnSwift

Just good constructive criticism. This is a great community! :) True, you can't please all of the people all of the time - but I find it's often the ones you can't please that are the most useful. ;) If I've got whipped cream on my nose, I wanna know about it!

(and if I've got whipped cream elsewhere... well, I probably put it there on purpose. No need to point it out. It's all good.)

A great story, with an author who can get the technical details right. Easily the best I've read in months. Please, write more! Nina was wrong though; I do want the schematics.

ShawnSwift, hush. I'm trying to enjoy the story.

This story had me screaming on my pillow! I love it so much and I'm looking to read more! <3 (How I wish my gf could be like Sam.) Huehue

This may be my favorite story on this entire site. The length was perfect, I greatly prefer long stories. And as a total geek girl, plus someone with a pee fetish, it hit all the right buttons.

Another aspiring author here who LOVES Oxford commas and prefers an authentic voice in a story to a voice with perfect grammar, just to put in a dissenting opinion.

I also have to tell you: I do not expect and rarely find quality stories from this website, just ones that are sometimes sexy regardless. I'm buying this on Amazon because I want to come back to it again and again, not just for the porn but because these two are adorable. There's something real and touching about this that I don't know if I've ever found in erotica.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story.

As another writer, and editor, I did see some minor errors but most of them made sense within the context of the narrative voice. A good enough writer can break any rule so long as they do it well enough. Some of the POV shifts were a little sudden, but overall I loved it.

I can't wait to read more.

Aaaaaah jesus christ, best story I've read on here ever. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

Congrats FeatherWatt, Mittens was a very pleasurable read. I immensely enjoyed your imagineering. I certainly look forward to future tales of tail as your kittens, Sam & Nina, play with their mittens.

As for trivial errors {we are smart enough to figure out what the author meant, are we not?} more then most readers realize, many so-called mistakes are actually the result of the technology we use. And that damnable Supreme Court ruling requiring programmers to be illiterate!

Spellcheck functions are homophone-phobic {per teapotty Congressional mandate} and auto-correct functions that {by Executive Order} replace the author's original prose with the wrong word in the correct context can be accidentally hilarious.

That this cacophony of machinery and web systems are able to deliver any kind of a coherent message to the end user, qualifies as a supra-natural miracle.

One of the best lesbian stories I've read in a very long time.

Two girls in a beautiful relationship exploring each others kink....can't go wrong with that. I look forward to reading more about Nina and Samantha's relationship and sex life.

Not only do you have a great sense of story and wonderful humour, you write brilliantly – and I say this as a professionally published and experienced author. Please, please give us more of the adventures of this beautifully realised pair.

Mmmmore mmmittenssss now plz!

Best story I have ever read on this site. Really, truly wonderful. Well written and engaging all the way through to the end. I love the internal dialog and the way Sam and Nina interact. This is just too cute. More please?

First lesbian story I ever read. I used to only read anal bdsm stories. Even though in my porn videos I like girl on girl better. I just figured that in stories... the tension between a male and female would be more exciting than the tension between two women? I don't know where I got that idea from.

Anyways. A couple of weeks ago I fell in love. With a girl. I had no idea I could feel this way about a women. So now I thought I should read about it. Get to know more about how this works... I selected my story very carefully. I have quite some demands when it comes to stories. I like kink. I like good dialogue (and only very few writers can get that right). I like build up. I like descriptions. I like butttttts. I like well-written stories. Yours was perfect. I really need to read more about Samantha and Nina. You did a wonderful, wonderful job.

my new favourit

cant wait to read more of your work

Mittens is now free on SmashWords, available in just about any format you like for your phone or ebook reader. Technically it's pay-what-you-want, but what-you-want can totally be "Zero dollars and zero cents, please!"

(if you do decide to pay 0.00, I recommend that when the site asks you how much you want to pay, you say "Zero dollars and zero cents, please!" aloud, with a big, silly grin on your face. Try it! It's more fun than it sounds)

Thanks for the huge effort you put into it :)

Just the right amount of nerdy hotness. I could so picture Samantha trying to work everything out in her mind.. We think passion should be spontaneous, but this story shows a little thought going in sure can improve the experience :)

I would love to read more from this writer.

Loved this. Made it through the first page and immediately recommended it to a friend.

Sometimes I find myself thinking a bit like Samantha, getting carried away, a hundred thoughts racing ahead of me. Mind you, I'm not quite so brilliant, but I could relate and found it especially darling.

The characters were real and refreshing. The dialogue was smooth and easy (unfortunately rare in erotic stories). And it was hot, hot, hot. ;D

A total delight to read and I'm looking forward to the next installment. ^_^

FeatherWatt, this is a wonderful tale, and so is its sequel. It has exactly the form it requires for its content. There is, of course, nothing at all wrong with "so that", or "and then", or Oxford commas (most of the time they add clarity, very occasionally they detract from it).

Fanfare: :-) I have, in fact, been both a computer programmer and a copy editor. It's damnably hard, when correcting someone's English, not to make a mistake in English oneself. Indeed this is so common it has a name: the Hartman/Skitt/MacKean Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation. (Hartman is a programmer, MacKean is a lexicographer, and I know both of them slightly, as it happens.)

This is really good, I like it! Especially the fact that Sam isn't some sort of mean person that does everything out of selfishness, but in love instead.

Just finished reading Schrodinger's Mittens and forgot to put a rating in comment here. 11/10 would read again, 6/5 stars! Faved also!

Oh god, yes! Please! More!

That is one fab story, enjoyed it a lot ! :D

This was a great read and really hot! Very in detail but never boring, rather funny, sexy, kinky and exciting instead! I hope to read far more of this pair! Thanks for sharing, I loved it!

This story put me in the room with the characters. I am more than impressed. Looking forward to more.

... grin and smirk and laugh and giggle like a little girl while reading stuff on this site? I had to wade through a lot of mud before I accidentally stumbled over this gem. Thank you for writing it, love the pussies, all four of them. (Higgs and Boson... just perfect names for Sams cats.)

holy shit that was hot.

I think I'm in love with these two and their budding relationship already totaly ready for more!!

This was fucking AMAZING!!!! I was at a coffee shop while reading. Being so turned on while knowing you might get caught was simply electrifying!!! LOVED IT!!!

Holy Moly, I was just browsing around in between boring emails - and I thought how about a bit of slightly guilty pleasure and I found this story and it's a gem, I actually laughed out loud AND it was hot and steamy. Thank You "FeatherWatt" for taking the trouble to do such a good job. Beats Gerri Hill and she charges a lot...

I love these two so much. Its not only sexy but its funny and whitty! I have read all three of the series and I can not wait for the next one to come out, please keep writing. It should be made into a movie, a very entertaining one at that!

Many periodic uses of pop culture words, though never cliche unless meant to be somewhat camp; all in all the writer made me wonder if they had been an aspiring professional writer or just gifted naturally to craft words into coinage most appropriate for the reader's imagination and usage.

Thank you writer -- I enjoyed your piece. Admittedly, I sped through some of it and lingered in other spots.

Just read all three instalments of Mittens yesterday, and it was one of the cleverest, steamiest, and right out funniest stories I've read on this site. I'm still laughing about Pancake Nap. I cant wait to read about more Sam and Nina, keep up the good writing!

So you've suggested Nina has a dungeon at home! Do we get to see it??! This is very good but you have to be teasing us??

Looking forward to your next episode, and thanks, it was special.

That was great fun to read. Very very sexy

such a pleasure to read , even before the sex stuff . nothing else comes close, very well done .

I eat toast exactly the same way as Samantha! The story was excellent and exceptionally well written. FeatherWatt is clearly an outstanding author and I look forward to many more stories from her.

I have to say, I was really impressed with this story! The writing is great, the characters are well-developed, and the story is well-thought-out and really fun to read! This is one of my favorite stories on the site, and definitely one of the best if not THE best Literotica I've ever read! Keep it up!

Seriously, I am a 70 year old straight male but after reading this particular story I am mad as hell that I am what I am and not female. That way I could be a lesbian and have a lot more fun! Unless, of course, this is all just pure fantasy :)

I hope not and I congratulate you on your writing skills - please write more.

Clifton

Absolutely loved this... Can't wait to continue reading more! :)

As a male with a bisexual girlfriend, the topic of "Have you read Lesbian Smut" has come up in recent weeks. According to her, she's never read any that wasn't butch or vulgar in their writings.

This pleases me greatly to find something so well written, and lovingly crafted. I only hope that anything I write will be as good as this. Well done!

I really enjoyed the story. I was at a crossroads multiple times unsure if I should laugh or come. Being a nerdy lesbian I love a good nerdy, funny, erotic story. Great job!

...followed by a wonderfully hot and entertaining story.

Brilliant, well done.

Off to read the next one

FeatherWatt, the Mittens series has some of the best character development I have seen in quite a while - and that's for both erotic and mundane stories. Samantha and Nina have made an impression. Very nicely done!

And yes, the sex was beyond hot. But not only could I imagine them in the heat of passion I can just as easily imagine Nina finding Sam making a automated pancake-flipper to save cooking time.

I rated this story 5 stars- it rocks! What I don't get, though, is why no one is surprised by Sam's change. Remember, in the beginning of the book, she was a nerd, and now she's taunting her lover during sex by acting like she was an evil person?? But overall, this book rocks! I think it's my favorite I've read here, and I've read quite a few!

Fresh, incisive, innovative and whip-smart. With a lively wit too.

The narration both crackles and flows. Truly gorgeous.

Among other things, this is a fascinating look at the nature of role-playing.

I also enjoyed the numerous references to Samantha's strength and muscularity, obviously meant as the deliciously sexy attributes which they are.

8 pages, but so worth it. If you aren't totally enthralled by the IM scene on page 2...

It's nice to read lesbian erotica that makes me smile and laugh for all the right reasons, and all without the rolling of the eyes. Oh, and yes, it made me wet, but I think I won't mention that at the risk of being embarrassed *coughs* What I meant to say is, thank god there's at least two more stories. Notice I said at least. Please let there be more? In other words, thank you.

xo

r

Of all time

I love this so much that I would read it even if there was only sex every third or fourch chapter. Just all round good story. I look forward to more characterization and thoughts from each perspective :) i don't like powerplay usually (having had bad experiences from people who don't understand ethical kink - also forced submission when really I'm dom) but it's so loving and reciprocally desired in this story you may well reawaken me! Satisfied the sex positive feminist in me as well as the horny procrastinator 💖

As nerdy tyoe, I have to say I LOVED this story.

The rhythm and cadence of the narrative and the swell of emotions is breathtaking!

Thank you SO much

Corinne x

I always like a good brain stimulating tale before I hit the sack. Its an incredible insight on the Human relationship and our most intimate thoughts that never leave the confines of our mind until some fortunate writer beat me to the punch...Damn you girls, this was going to be my niche. Oh well, guess i'm done writing then. I love the Asperger-es concentration on the most minute of details that we humans never focus more than a second on, before moving on to another thought. The detailing of every action being commenced is great, very involving sex scenes, overall great story...to bad it didnt get me off.

Haha you guys thought I was going to say terrible didn't you? But it isnt. It is utterly fabulous. It is sexy, intriguing, hilarious(I almost died when Samantha discovered the clitoris), and makes you become a wannabe. I bet so many people clicked mittens expecting a porno (of course there are the blind haters) but we're delightfully surprised with a delicate and intricate story

A joy to read. Too sad there isn't more of this quality online. Looking forward to the sequels...

You make it soooo sexy. Enjoyed it so much.

Nina and Samantha are awesome! I love your character building and the show build up! I wish there was more of this high quality writing online!

I so love the dynamic you created here.

These are great stories. :)

I have just recently found your series about Samantha and Nina here on Literotica. And I would like to express my gratitude and compliments for this unique reading experience.

The thing is, that you manage to create a perfect balance between

a) steaming hot, kinky girl-on-girl action

b) the ever-present light-hearted humor

c) a truly touching depiction of the developing relationship between the protagonists.

Sam and Nina are two likeable, believable and unique characters, and the way they interact and discover each other and their relationship makes you want to laugh, cry and f*** yourself (that's a quote) at the same time.

I guess that I'm not the only reader who is longing for the next episode "Soaking wet mittens", of which I have only found a beta-version on a different platform. So I hope that there is hope that the story of these adorable ladies will continue.

Absolutely loved this. loved the characters got me so hot

I wonder how I never came across this series before, but now I'm hooked!!! I really like the two voices storytelling as well as the insights in our lovely heroes thoughts... Definitely a story worth reading!

I liked this so much, loved the characterisation, the light touch with which you write, and it was so hot too

Brilliant stuff. Voices of the two characters - both in dialogue and in the italicised thoughts - are done so well. It's often a weakness in stories on this site, but this one is far superior to the average.

A story that finds the angst and humor in young love and in the, often "taboo", desires for sexual submission and sexual humiliation. My partner and I have also explored these, and it takes a loving, caring, thoughtful partner to build the trust and acceptance necessary to share fully in the experience. Nina and Samantha are a beautiful match in this respect.

This is a beautiful, sweet story and I found myself, by turns, giggling and sighing, "awwww", as I watched these two struggle with their sexual and romantic feelings. I have to add that, as someone with a PhD in Computer Science, I have finally found, in the character of Samantha, someone with whom I strongly identify. Sexual behavior is mysterious and difficult to isolate and quantify. 😖

This story absolutely deserves the 5 🌟 that I have already given it, and I lam already looking forward to reading about their further adventures. A story with a name like "Schrodinger's Mittens" has got to be a Must Read.

Very sweet and loving

I read this at work because I'm awful and omgggg so good it's unfair