All Comments on 'Modeling Class'

and despite all the very annoying errors in the writing, it worked for me...

I thought it was an awsome story! Given the state of the writter I can understand the typos and point of view shift.

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Orie, you are an awsome writter. Creative and fun, you should read your own work after you cool off to correct any possible mistakes.I know this is your baby, so its not an assault on you or your writting. But this comes from one writer to another.

Keep on writting and I look forward to reding more of your work.

Sorry I haven't registered yet but now I think I am going to have to!

For crying out loud, would it kill you to write out the characters' names when you are referring to them?

but this story needs lots of editing. There are lots of very erotic moments, and the author is thoughtful about expressing in a variety of ways, but an editor is required to make this story what it deserves to be. Keep writing.

As written, this is a ramble through a random list of female names or, worse, initials, who want to have sex with a man on seeing him naked whether they are straight, gay or bi. You plow a coach and horses through sexuality and personality. Your tenses and POV get all muddled up. The Melissa story telling is difficult to write and you make quite a few mistakes. There is no plot! His girlfriend, who seems sometimes to be called Anne-Marie, but usually 'morning', wants him to pose naked for her and her friends but then vanishes as he seduces a lesbian couple. Where is the narrative tension?

I eventually gave up reading the second half. It was hard to read with the names as initials, even though his was supposed to be that way. O.R. would have been a bit easier to read, but why not give him a real name so it flows better. The story line wandered a lot also in the 1st half, I didn't know where it was going.

What's with the initials and the author referring to himself in the third person. One sentence it's "I did this" then it's "OR did that" when it's the same person (the author) doing the talking. Good idea here, just poorly written.

A wonderful rendition, beautifully plotted and with perfect pace

Well-paced, nicely developed. All round great job.

I loved it, these critics are being too picky. It is very horny, and could even be extended into a big fuck session with Anne Marie being included. I think Melissa is a fantastic horny rude girl, and Linda was beautiful. What about Cathy, she is a sexy girl just escaping from her confines. Also she has a hairy bush which I love.

Good luck, and keep writing

I think every story on this site would benefit from being edited. That said... there are few stories of this genre, which are as exciting or as innovative as this one. I enjoy writing - but hate editing... so I don't. I would rather write something new instead. Best regards, Jane Marwood.

I actually got excited! Great job.

I really enjoyed readying this. You gave such detail and back history of some of the characters i felt i knew them myself. I really enjoyed the fact that i was able to maintain who was whom despite there being multiple characters. Also, i enjoyed visualizing that image of all those five girls (which i think should have included ann maria, becky, and the brenda {i think that was her name}). You described the group picture so well i got a nice imprinted image in my mind.

I do however, feel that it could have gone on more, and perhaps ending with him and ann maria in a lustful and/or lovable scene. But it (your ending) was still a great scene to end on. I hope hope you continue with this story and/or write more literary works.

Thank you again for a great story.

Great story, great atmosphere and sexual tension but the story is riddled with errors. Narrator changes inexplicably, even in the same paragraph:

"I looked over at Cathy, who now had her jeans and panties at her knees and masturbating vigorously. He could make out the full brunette bush behind her hand."

Exactly who is telling the story?

The story would really benefit from a good editor.

OK, I admit it. Modeling in the buff for a class of nubile female students is a longtime fantasy of mine. I've read dozens of "modeling" stories and none hold a candle to Orie's.

Yes, as someone mentions in their comments, there are a couple of inexplicable shifts in POV during the story -- but who cares!

Any erotic story titled "Modeling Class" comes with certain built-in expectations -- and Orie delivers in spades. Along the way he ramps up the sexual tension until it's almost unbearable. And he does it with a cast of wonderfully drawn, immensely likable characters. Imagine an eroticized "Friends" pilot episode and you'll get the idea.

Nor is this a one-trick pony. Rather it's an entire story arc built around the modeling class premise, that has more twists and turns than a Grand-Prix course. There are stories within stories within stories here. Including a wonderful sexually-charged lesbian coming of age tale.

And it all ends with one of the most satisfying climaxes in the annals of exhibition-voyeurism. The wonder of it all is that Orie manages to confound the stereotypes while still delivering big time on our erotic expectations.

Given the absence of frequently noted edits, I'm assuming you're continuing to do fixies and improvements?

l. BIZARRE is the version you want, not bazaar.

2. Not sure the order your catalog was written; however, I've enjoyed several others. The Biggie for me in this story is the idea that Owen would perceive being nude among women an issue? A total Non-Issue! (They are the same names, seem to have the same character traits, et al. So maybe the order of story placements should be in a continuity?)

Really nice work! As usual.

Even on retreading for the 3rd or 4th time I enjoy your work.

You have a light, very creative, touch.

I appreciate this didn't turn into a massive gangbang. Too often authors let the story get away from them. You provided just enough sex to make it fun.

1. A character with a seemingly small role will completely take over, for the better. In "A Concerted Effort" it was Cassie, and she absolutely made that story. In "A Star Is Born-Naked" it was Abbie, who is one of the coolest creations I've seen in a decent while. Here, it's Melissa, who basically owns this one.

2. There is always a Big Reveal used as a seduction piece, usually in the form of that seemingly small character recounting her steamy past. Here, once again, Melissa takes over the story, providing the necessary titillation.

3. In terms of the 'taboo' relationships that always create the tension in these stories, the main protagonist is never allowed to seal the deal and have actual sex! In this one Anne Marie inexplicably gets punted from the story, and Owen becomes the sole focal point. Just as Mr. Conservative didn't get to fuck Bella, Cassie, Amanda, Holly or anyone else in "A Concerted Effort," and just as Chloe in "A Star is Born-Naked" wouldn't eat pussy or have sex with anyone even as everyone else was partaking left and right in proper bacchanals, here we have Owen as the Dudley Do-Right archetype who always remains above the fray.

Dude is made of sterner stuff than any mere mortal. There is no way in hell I'm turning down Melissa, much less the obvious threesomes and moresomes with Linda the Bi-Curious Hottie Lesbian, the two giggly college sluts, and Cathy the Cock-Crazy Coworker. Oh, and Anne Marie too, wherever she disappeared to. The guy is Super Cock, every woman he meets wants him to rail her silly, and he never gets to destroy a single pussy!

Gah!

You're a cruel one, Orie...a true evil soul!

Editing-wise, yes, this one was unusually sloppy. Lots of pronoun swaps, tense changes, punctuation gaffes, etc. Easy enough to clean up, if it's at all a concern. The main thing, the difficult thing, is the story telling, and you do an excellent job where it matters most.

and it fit nicely in the category. but at times it was difficult to know who was speaking.

I enjoy your stories. The end of each one leaves the door open for more possibilities as well as being content with the current ending.

I think this one could really do with another chapter or two since Linda has left the door open for the possibility of having sex with Owen, she also got incredibly turned on doing the erotic poses with a male, maybe she is not so strongly lesbian after all. She seemed to know what to do to bring him quickly to an orgasm having stuck her finger up his arse while stroking his cock. You have also left Cathy's future involvement waiting to be taken up. It would also be nice to see Anne Marie and her friends involved some more.

If you don’t have time or the inclination that’s fine because I can fill some gaps in in my mind.

While it was difficult at times to work out who was talking or thinking it wasn’t that hard to get over it. The overall story is basically what I am here for.

Thanks.

I'm sorry but what happend to AnnMarie, she is in the photo class ? I think she is nicely left out. What a fun group of women, like the other comments there are several stories here.

I'm certain you can make them all very interesting. Good writing.

Thank You.

Enjoyed this immensely. Not so sure that a committed lesbian would give a guy a blow job but hey !

Well written, nicely paced and only one or two cringeworthy moments. More please.

Wow, I thought my modeling experiences were fun. Nothing in comparison to this.

Well done!

Would very much enjoy more of this. Maybe more classes?

What a wonderful story. So very well told.

Orie, in all your stories, you have an imagination and story telling gift that lifts your work beyond erotica.

Wonderfully erotic story I imagined I was Owen

Original theme and great writing.

And damned HOT!

obviously, 5/5

5 stars

Sort of fun

I really enjoyed the eroticism in this story. It stirred thoughts and feelings I have not experienced before. Thank you.

Sorry gave up half-way through Melissa`s overly descriptive novella skipped to the end to give my view.

Awesome story! Loved it. And looking forward to reading more of your works!

So he was really worried about Anne Marie, until he wasn’t?

HOT, very hot. what does Ann Marie say about all this? and her 2 BFF's?

Good story. Mix up between first and third person made it a bit confusing to follow the last bits.

Excellent story. Exceedingly erotic with descriptiveness that allowed me to picture the drawings perfectly and the bodies precisely to spec. You have a real talent and I cannot wait to go and read your other works.

As a male, I've modeled privately for groups of women. Because it's private, no rules apply, which means my erections are OK, even encouraged. Much different from posing at schools, where it wouldn't be tolerated. Sometimes in a private group one or two of the women will dress provocatively to encourage my boner. Thin blouse & no bra, short skirt & no knickers, I've seen it all. The only time I've had sex was when they wanted an erotic pose and I got to "fuck" the volunteer who took her clothes off to pose with me. They arranged my cock to be just inside the entrance to her vagina, and we had to hold that pose for an hour with two 5-minute breaks. Believe me, holding off was hard work, not really very sexy. At the end of the hour I was still hard and we both needed relief so they let us finish ourselves off with me still inside her. I got paid double that night.

Good, but really needs editing to fix all the grammatical errors.

I have one of those 'faux sex' stories I wrote before reading this one. I have always modeled at schools and for private groups where sex was never supposed to be in the picture.

Another one of my stories that I uploaded first, was when I arrived to find out that my ex-wife was the woman I was posing with. But this being fiction, it turned out 'better' than in real life. Great thing, fiction!

I'd get back into modeling if I found myself in a situation like this one!

Yummy, Yummy ,I need to cummy on her tummy.

very sexy imagery.

5*****