All Comments on 'Mother's Day'

The whole time they referred to each other as "brother" or "sister." I found it distracting and unrealistic. Overall, though, it's a decent story. A bit rushed and not much character development.

and does she notice?

shouldn't hide her cute little cunt from her bro. And then with cock and cunt out in the open, they have some dirty brother and sister fun.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THIS? did a ten year old write this? this was one of the worst stories ever on the site. it sounds like it poorly translated from some alien language. find a GOOD EDITOR and rewrite AFTER DELETING THIS ONE FIRST.

great story. hope they decide to bring mom home to continue the celebration.

Brother, sister, brother, sister, who talks like that? Get a reality check; people have names, brothers and sisters have names, even if it's pet-names for each other, why was it so hard for you to inject a dose of reality? I couldn't relate to someone whose only identification is 'brother', or 'sister', so no stars, this story fell at that particular fence and never staggered up again. Good premise, piss-poor execution.

Story made not as good by the way they referred to each other as "brother" or "sister." Surely you were showing it was a brother and sister having sex but we got it already. Names are needed.

Went way too fast. The first part was confusing as to who is speaking. Grammer seems pretty good, but I'm not sure you've any idea what to do about quotation marks. Story is a little lame, thin. No one, siblings or no, just falls on the couch and starts fucking after walking in the door. Even incest stories need to have a hint of believability so the reader can get involved with the characters. Keep writing but keep working on it too. Writing is a craft that has to be learned and worked at.

Please ignore the naysayers, especially those who are so fearful that they write anonymously. For a first effort, this is a nice story and well told. Yes, there is room for improvement and that improvement will come. Read the comments, take them to heart, and then write the next chapter: after all, Father's Day is right around the corner. Don't ever let negativity be a factor in your writing, only instructional in your progression. Thanks for sharing.

Don't ya just love assholes who can't stand it when others dare to have a different opinion.

I enjoyed your story and didn't have a problem with brother sister talk at all. Not every story has to be smutty. I like your idea of keeping it clean but sexy and to me more realistic rather than using dirty talk etc. Don't get me wrong I love to read those too but feel as though it didn't fit with the characters in your story. Don't worry about the negative comments as no matter what there will always be some one quick to pull you down. Keep going and only write from what's feels right for you. You have a gift and it's a lot harder to find your sort of talent than it is to perform perfect grammar. A real writer feels their way through a story just as an artest feels his art and that is a gift you have. Good luck in your writing future and remember some times we have to step away for a while and then go back and try again to get it right.

I think,"tghlawyer03", has the right idea. Ignore the anonymous comments they're just cowards anyways. If they had any guts or fairplay, they'd sign in and leave a name.You can make everyone sign in to make a comment it is your right, and I encourage that honey. It was a great story hon,good start. I think incest romance is the best.

The story was difficult to follow, with clumsy progression, and unrealistic dialog. (I'm not sure I've ever actually heard siblings consistently address one another as "Brother" and "Sister" outside of people with extraordinarily strong religious beliefs. Crow-baring that in as a plot device was just that: crow-baring.) Not the worst first attempt I've read, but don't let the "Everybody Gets A Gold Medal For Participating" crowd blow smoke up your ass. There's a lot of room for improvement. Use the comments to identify where you need to strive for that improvement.

the constant whining of those that think their fake name gives them some kind of rights. Stop your constant bitching about anonymous comments. They are just as valid as your fake name comments. You people are so fucking stupid. Give it a break.

Everybody has a right to an opinion, no matter what it is. If the writers don't want opinions shut off the damn feedback.

I truly liked the story. With time, all things and everyone can improve. But I don't fault you at all for this story. I'd like to see a continuation, perhaps with a bit of hair on the chest of the handsome and masculine brother.

I always shake my head at some of the comments here. I liked the story and could imagine the two characters, who obviously were strongly attracted to each other, getting it on. In fact I could see them doing it. So some of the story didn't read like a polished manuscript, that didn't hide the fact I was hard and wanting to play along.

I look forward to Part 2, should you decide to do a follow-up. If not, nice story!

My panties got wet writing it, so that was fun. I appreciate the constructive criticism - the day we stop learning/improving is the day we start dying. The less constructive criticism... I'm grown, so I don't get butthurt over comments on the interwebs. I wrote this for personal use and decided to post - you don't have to like it for me to get off. :) (And kudos - someone was clever in noting the religious background... very clever....)

Please continue with the story. Great so far but we need more. You do too.

Sister! Brother! no sister! no brother! Jeeze. Don't these guys have names?

My favorite fetish "taboo/incest". Mine from experience, yours ?

Nice story--quick and to the point, very good flow, and just enough detail to let the mind wander a bit. And as far as names go, I read the "brother/sister" bits as banter, each reminding the other of what they were doing. And I think that fit with their characters (tough love, constant teasing). But that just my .02

I agree with slushnswallow - the bro, sis thing was the kind of tough banter we'd expect, but sis might have broken down and cried his name as she came, just out of extasy. Or he might have. They had held back their feelings for so long...something had to give. Very nice story, and I liked the flow a lot.

Checked your profile and sorry to see this was your only story. It would have been nice to see a follow up story as to how their love blossomed.

Hope you decide to someday continue as you have shown a vuneralble side as this might be a true remerbance