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If he only knew. It wasn't going to get better. And it was this lie that was going to test our friendship.
After I was done with my emotional outburst he asked me in the most soothing voice, "Hey what's up? This isn't nothing."
I think it was time to tell him now. I couldn't believe it I was telling a guy I had only met a couple of days ago ,over whom I was infatuated and I hadn't even told my parents yet. Imagine if they found out.
"Ok but you can't tell anyone." I said prematurely, "only my aunt and Toria know this not even my parents - Chris I'm gay." I managed at the end.
He sat there frozen. He withdrew his hand for a second. Well I was half way guilt free. If he didn't want to be friends then I'd know he was a homophobic narrow minded idiot and not the god I thought he was.
He waited for a couple of seconds. The next thing he did surprised me the most. No he didn't put his hand around me. No he didn't walk away. Only a tear trickled down his eye. I know this was emo and all but I wanted to laugh.
Ok I did laugh. At least my face lost the mortified look it had. He was being all sentimental and I was being a jerk. I said sorry and covered my mouth.
"Ha-ha made you laugh didn't I!" He said and he put his hand around me again. It was a fully fledged hug this time.
I nestled my head into his shoulder and took in a deep breath as though I was crying. Every time I smelt him. His beautiful scent. I was devoured by it. I clung onto every hint of it.
"You know it doesn't really bother me. Stan is gay you know right. But you haven't told your parents?" His last words were shocked.
Oh god here it came again. "Well no but I'm telling them after thanksgiving." I said. It was decided. I was going to tell them after thanksgiving. I had three supports even if they didn't accept it.
We didn't say anything else. After about half an hour he dropped me home.
"Oh honey you told him didn't you." Aunt Berne said as soon as she saw me.
"Yes." Was all I could say...
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 10 years agoNormally I would never have made it through Chapter 01 of this series but there is something basically appealing in the general story. You have a good story but you are one of the worst at writing that I've seen on this site. You definitely need to have an editor because you don't seem to understand the very basics of sentence/paragraph structure. You have a gift for telling stories; you just can't write them. Get an editor because I think you might have some interesting stories in you.
Lily_of_the_Valleyalmost 11 years agoThere is something appealing about this story but you need to slow down - you're telling it like you're rushing through a shopping list. Every story needs a rhythm. You need an editor, yes, but what you need most is simply to proofread and edit your own work before posting.
". . . wow he even punctuated in messages was all I could think of . . ."
Good idea! Punctuate your story properly!
:-)
Anonymousabout 12 years agoI agree with the others. I wanna keep reading, and probably will. But, it does need editing. I noticed more than once that more than gram/spell errors there were glaring inconsistencies such as Chris driving him to his aunt's and then him walking Chris home. Guess he left his friend's car there? I also noticed when you mentioned a 40 min ride to his aunt's and then he gets in with Stan and is there in 10 mins. So, try to be careful with things like that. I think you did a good job making this guy still seem endearing. I look forward to more. Try to get an editor. If you ask, sometimes the readers will volunteer.
cannd
Anonymousabout 12 years agoLove it and hate it. The story itself is good, but the writing makes it hard to read and fully enjoy. Agree with the other comments- use one of Lit's editors to help make this more fluid and correct the punctuation, etc. The story concept is otherwise very nice.
Anonymousabout 12 years agoThis could be a really great story if it wasn't for the disjointed content, grammar errors and severe lack of appropriate punctuation. It's a fantastic concept and I would love to see where the story goes; but it's so difficult to read that without some correction and direction, I'm not sure if I'll attempt reading future chapters.
