All Comments on 'My Aunt & Her Maid Ch. 02'

Rush job. Find someone to edit and proofread your stories.

Part 1: Aunt = Kelly, Maid = Lita.

Though maid is near 50 she recently gave birth and is nursing.

Now you lose any credibility.

Then it gets even worse.

Part 2: "my aunt Lita and her maid... Kelly's hands had milked my aunts firm breasts"

Make up your mind and get the grammar right.

A shame; arousing subject and decent writing but in strong need of simple proofreading ("underware," "amature")

Amateur effort indeed.

For someone who’s interested in something that’s written grammatically correct, you forgot the rule about NEVER starting a sentence with the word “And.”

The old "rule" that you cannot begin a sentence with a conjunction has actually gone by the wayside. In casual writing or speech, a sentence can start with *and* or *but*.

Though these words are mainly used to join elements within a sentence, they have been used to start sentences since the 10th century. Many style guides even say that *but*

is more effective than however at the beginning of a sentence. But, in any case, do use variety in the way you start sentences and try to start consecutive sentences with

different words. The groundless suggestion that it is incorrect to begin a sentence with *but* or *and* is as silly as saying it is incorrect to end a sentence with a

preposition.

Sorry readers - I got the characters' names mixed up in the story between chapters 1 & 2. It has been several months since I wrote Chapter 1 and did not go back to review it. This is a story where I changed the names initially (and completely) to fictional names to prevent identification of the real people. I simply forgot which one I had ID'd as my aunt (Kelly was the original 'aunt') and who was Lita.

Again - I apologize for the error but it's simply a story. Sorry if that simple error ruined your day. Just ignore the names and consider what happened to the characters, ok?

And to the first commenter regarding the story - I wrote this story in the wee hours of the morning. Amateurish it may seem regarding grammatical details but if you are THAT concerned about details of an erotic adventure, to the point that your nitpicking subtracts from enjoyment of it, then perhaps reading adult erotica is something you should do less of?

I will accept the criticism that I should have gone back and re-read part 1. But If you only read part 2 as a stand alone story (which one could clearly do) than your continuity complaint about the names is moot. And really, picking about the other things? C'mon - this is not a forum for writers to submit a college thesis is it?

But I do submit my sincere apologies for the grammatical/naming errors.

I'll be watching for more from you.

Cheers

Aside from the name deal I liked it. Hopefully chapter 3 arrives in short order.

This is erotic fiction you nurds not Shakespeare

get a life

you write more of the same starlifter

Excellent, can't wait for ch 3. Please continue.

fag

Fag.

Oh dear. If this is the best critique you can drag from your shallow knowledge of the English language then I feel sorrow for your fellow contributors.

Actually I was so absorbed by the stories I never noticed the name changes or the grammatical mistakes which is a first for me, as you see I can be pretty pedantic.

Good story and I am looking forward to reading more chapters.