All Comments on 'My Chemical Romance'

awww that was a sweet story i really liked it. if this is a story really bout u i hope u find someone else like that XD

Awww how cute. I'll have to put your story on my re-read again list. It was good and realistic. Thank you for sharing it with us.

sweet story

That was a very good read. Please continue the story. Maybe they will meet again after a few year???? (crosses fingers)

so in love with your story. so jealous too.

it would have been perfect if you hadn't written the girl's dialogue in "black talk"...as a black person i think its too stereotypical, and inaccurate.

I thought your story was great. Very sexy and well written. I agree with another comment though. It would have been awesome if not for the slang of the black female character. I thought it made her sound ignorant and her character doesn't seem to be ignorant at all. Great effort though.

This story reads like a tale that is shared with friends reflecting on a past love.....it reads 'real'. The writer obviously has a sense of humor. I was a little put off with the Black slang but had to admit that there are people that speak that way. But too often writers act as if Blacks are the only race that use slang or uses bad grammar. But that was minor and doesn't diminish a decent feel good story

*****

I don't think the story was particularly well written; the attempts at AAVE were poor and often made the story difficult to read. That being said, I think a lot of effort probably went into it so I gave you a four. Perhaps you might consider getting an editor for future submissions.

"Black" slang! Like one reader said, it kind of took away from the wonderful and beautiful story because it made Jayda sound highly ingorant (which I highly doubt she is!)and stupid while Adam sounded smart and witty. I mean black people aren't the only ones who use slang so if your going to write a story in a certain way make sure that it is throughout the story by all of the characters, not just one. Yes, their are some people that speak like that (regardless of race) but not every person. And for this story, it is taking away from it, so I give you a 4 out of 5. It is okay to show difference in characters but be meanful of it! I hope you keep writing!

Geez ppl, lighten up, this story was great...(well other than saying "is" instead of are a lot)....I found the "black slang" thing funny...I'm black and I don't take offense to it. That's just how ppl talk, although it's not just black ppl that talk like that, have u been to the country...a WHOOOOOLE LOTTA WHITE PPL talk like that. but over all, great story.

...I LUVD IT! although I didnt want them to break up *cries* T_T i liked it FORGET WAT THE OTHERS SAY I WANT A PART 2! make part 2 they get back together! cooome on!! then have kids!!! ima sucka for romance ... LOL. but im serious....make part to por favor. ;] GREAT STORY!

he would teach her to speak English. There seemed to be a real emotional connection with these two, but the slang was distracting because it didn't seem natural.

The slang seemed so misplaced that it seemed to be used more for ridicule than to move the story forward. Maybe I'll pick this story up again later, but it offended me so I couldn't finish the first page.

Good luck!

excellent

Beautiful story!!!

Not All Black People Talk With Improper Grammar...Nice story but take that into consideration if its on purpose.

Jayda's speach really took away from the readability of the story. The flow of the story was thrown off & a little disturbing. I'm black, but I can't imagine why she'd be talking like that to what was, essentially, her best friend. I kept being taken out of the story wondering why she sounded like a hood-rat?

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......

Black people are literate and can speak English and the King's English, depending on what part of the World you happen to be in.

I was put off by the fact that Jayda was depicted as having speech deficits.

Please don't do this. It feeds into stereotypical depictions of African-Americans and is so unacceptable. I am glad I wasn't the only reader to be offended by this one aspect of a very nice love story. Think about the larger picture next time...please.

Yeah MOST black people do NOT talk like that.Most of the black people I know definitely know how to speak proper english.FIX THAT !

Like the title says, are you purposely trying to stereotype African-Americans ? cause you know racism goes both ways pal so next time I suggest you fix that real quick

Do you berate Nicki Minaj, Kanye, and 2Chainz when they hack the English language to bits and pieces? Stop being a bunch of hypocrites. This is hardly the worst example of black slang I've read or heard.

i almost loved it until i read how she spoke wth you really must don't know that many black people

Black people are capable of proper speech. No matter what era!!!

Although I don't particularly care for her speech, it has nothing to do with her race because where i'm from plenty of people from every race actually speak that way and it annoys all the same. As far as when rappers and hip hop artists do it, I simply don't listen to them.. It grates on my nerves but I loved the story for what it was and was not offended by the use of slang at all!

Very nice read.

A good story that needs to be read more.

RE: regarding the hood language - perhaps that was part of the reason her mother moved?