All Comments on 'My Cleaning Girl'

Love it!!!!!!

A bit shorter than I like, BUT your writing is descriptive.

Keep it up!

This was a good story, but short. My biggest complaint is that the two lovers sort of careened off into hyper-passion without having enough time to properly build up to it. But maybe that's just me. I *loved* her dialogue when she came back and called him dishonest; for certain my favorite part of the whole thing. Thanks you for sharing!

I liked this story for a number of reasons! First, I liked the teasing they did to each other! Then the sex started and the teasing came into play again, and the "dirty talk" !!! Then the sex got serious!!! This is just how this story should be!! I'd like to see a second chapter of this one!!!

Maybe she could come back again and then thethird time bring a "Helper" to help her clean!!

A sexy college girl cleans houses. Vicki's notice on the Bulletin board says she charges $15.00 dollars an hour. Before she's through it turns out she is a bargain at any price. Loved the dialogue! Well Written!

You've used this theme—the woman teases the man and when he's about to fuck her she says no and tries to get away and they pretend to struggle—about a hundred times now. Give it up.

You also almost always dress your female characters in tight "cut-offs." They never wear bras but their nipples are always hard and visible. In this story the girl comes back to the cabin wearing a tank top but later on she's wearing a t-shirt.

Get a friend to help you edit your stuff. Apparently your spell-checker doesn't catch the commas with no space after them (his,hand, the,bed, etc.). Maybe you should get some new themes and give it a rest for a while.

Suzzie in Los Altos