All Comments on 'My Ex Girlfriend'

What was incest about this to start with?

Then we have the writer having the character bragging about how big his cock is.

I swear, some of you noobs are clueless on how to write.

Bloody good effort. Dont be discouraged. Eveyone is a noobie at least once. As Long as we learn.

It might have been your first story, but I definitely want to read more!!

loved the story,keep writing and we'll keep stroking

For your second chapter, try to enlist the help of one of Lit's volunteer editors, they can help with the technical side of writing. <p>

As for the story itself, keep going. I definitely want to see more of Allison. :)

good but you need to keep it realistic if he felt so in love with her and they broke up there is no way he would stay friends with her because seeing and talking to her would drive him crazy and when he got her voice mail he would have deleted it without listening to it and sure wouldn't makeup with her the second half was better the begining sucked

Keep on writing, this is a good start. My advice is to work on your paragraph length. Short paragraphs make things feel frantic and sporadic. Describe what the main character experiences through all of their senses.

You did a good job of seeding little things that make me want to read further; why they broke up in the first place, what's really going on between the sisters, etc.

Well, you published this one in 2009. Other than the two following chapters, you haven't written anything else. It makes me wary to read the next two since there's obviously not going to be anything else added it's probably going to be open ended with no actual conclusion.

I like the idea of two sisters sharing the same guy openly. This had so much potential.