All Comments on 'My First Threesome Ch. 02'

...lessened somewhat by your use of the first person, which always makes me think the writer is fleshing out a fantasy rather than describing an actual experience - and that takes away from the realism. But it's very easy to empathise with your and Chris' feelings of first-time awkwardness. Thanks for sharing.

But, I bought these characters and the scenario. I liked the fact that this wasn't some weird, phony porno threeway, but a few normal people fucking. I like that a lot, actually.

I agree with Rye/Ginger about this. Whenever I read about a fantasy, it usually goes like this:

"You come into the bar, looking hot. I walk over and sit down next to you. You let me buy you a drink. etc., etc."

If it had actually happened (much hotter in the reader's mind), you would use the past tense:

"You came into the bar ... I walked over ... I sat down ... etc."

Using past tense instead of present tense makes it read like a description of something that really happened instead of a hope or wish.

Also, since some of your sentences WERE in the past tense, it was a bit confusing seeing both tenses.

But, it was still hot, and I thank you for writing it.