All Comments on 'My Mom was the Best Ch. 01'

Stopped readig as soon as I saw 10 inch cock.

Formulaic, and dull.

yep

Stopped reading at 10" cock - get fucking real. No stars, not for this endless garbage.

It's always about the kid with the monster cock.

PREGNANCY?

I liked the first description of the mother's body but there was too much repetitive description and her tits seemed to get bigger. The long dick nonsense was boring but I did read all the way through and had to laugh at the end when you said something about her taking the dick a few inches to the circumcision scars. If you have scars a few inches down your dick, the circumcision was done wrong.

It started out good, but it was so repettive that it got boring after a while.

Definitely a great start, but could use some restraint with the adjectives.

Like others have already pointed out, it was okay in the beginning but it got somewhat repetitive towards the end. You didn't need to point out that the father's boss was black every damn time. We get it, he was black. You don't need to keep pointing that out every sentence.

Good dialogue but frankly too much over the top sex. Trim it down a bit, tighten it up but a great first posting.

When the 10+ inch dick was introduced.

Except for the 10 in cock. Also seemed the son was somewhat of an arrogant asshole instead of a compassionate lover.

The 30 year old Mr. N, wrote, "This is my first submission, so be kind with your criticism." Okay, the story was too long, 2 and a half or 3 pages would've sufficed. There's too much repetition and extraneous material. But, come on, the guy's heart is in the right place. I'm sure the author was hard when he wrote this hot story and that he shot a big healthy load of his own at the end. N's hero, Adam, is a down and dirty young motherfucker of the kind we all love and cheer on. This boy knows exactly where his hard young cock belongs--right up the same warm wet hairy hole he came out of, up to his balls. He's not the sort of namby-pamby kid who puts his mother on a pedestal. Adam keeps calling that wonderful hole between his mother's legs not just her "pussy," but her "cunt." That's a big step forward for a son, when he thinks to himself, "my mother's cunt, my own mother's cunt." Adam makes his mom into an animal, her mind's a blank except for what she's feeling in her mommy-hole--her own boy's powerful prick ravaging and plundering her poor defenseless vagina and giving her one blissful cum after another. She's totally over the moon when Adam gives a loud grunt and blows his young balls, splattering his semen all over the insides of his mother's cunt and painting her pink cunt-walls a nice sticky white. Now Adam knows that his mom is definitely the best piece of ass he'll ever enjoy, just as she knows that her boy is the by far best fucker she'll ever spread her legs for. I for one look forward to a sequel by this gifted author.

left the story when the 10 inch cock appeared.

Captured emotions and actions in a realistic way. Quite a few guys have similar feelings and would love opportunity. Good Job

I am the fourth person to simitaneously to quit reading after the 10 inch dick. I am just bullshitting. What the hell is wrong with this guy writing about a 10 inch dick? Maybe his dick really is 10 inches. Big dam deal! Three commenters claimed to quit reading simultaneously after the 10 inch dick. Did all 3 commenters have a chrystal ball to read each others minds to stop reading similtaneously.. Bullshit. Most of these commenters are jealous their dicks are so tiny. These gay, I mean unhappy, commenters sure like to talk about dicks a lot. Bullshit on the nitpickers. Tou nitlickers just need to go out and get your dicks worked on, or maybe your heads worked on.You done good.

Sorri that I was mistaken. It wasnt 3 fools complaining about a 10 inch dick. It was 7 fools complaining about a 10 inch dick. My dick is 8 and a a half inches long, and I think that is normal. Do you think there will be any more fools complain about a 10 inch dick, after my comment. I want to see a picture of your dick to prove to me to see if it really is 10 inches. His dick doesnt have to be 10 inches. He said the story was fiction, his dick doesnt have to be 10 inches. If he said his dick was 4 inches, the same people would be glad that his mother wouldnt fuck him anymore, that she would have to go out and find her a white. Can you believe 7 people and counting complains over nothing wrong. His motherr was happy. I didnt hear commenters complaining about what they need to be complaining about, of his mother 20 times comparing his dick to his dadddys dick. I would tell her to get her damn husband back. On a loving wives section. How can there be a section called loving wives, thats about wives fucking around. Then many commenters complain about thaat she is committing adultery. Go figure! Thats a minor quibble to a great story.

- Another kid with a "complex of a small dick"??

Yaaa.. "10 inches" :)) And could it be otherwise? :)

- And why not "15 inches"? - Or not "18" ?? :)

( O! I see that others noticed it too? - I think it passing fashion for

these infantile and naive "confabulation" - characteristic of adolescence.)

LOVED IT it was one of the hottest stories I've ever read and I've read plenty keep writing please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Hope to read a few more chapters. Very good first time effort. You did not forget anyone's name as most story tellers do. Can hardly wait for the net offering....

I enjoyed the story and eagerly await part two where young Adam continues to hump away into his mothers soft warm and wet pussy and firing volley after volley of his seed into his mother. I loved the animalistic tone where he is taking his mother from behind while whispering in her ear the sweet incestuous fact the he is filling her with his sperm and hopes it finds one of her old eggs to fertilize. Perhaps in part two the son can get two wishes at once and successfully knock up his mommy while his dad watches and jerks off in the corner dribbling his seed into the carpet. This way everyone is happy mom, son, and dad.

A well done lewd story that had me beating my meat to a happy ending.

Reminds me of a time when my mother accompanied me on an overnight trip to Austin, TX. Fond memories - great story

Please, i'm not here for reality, but I stopped reading when you described the dude as scrawny and weak to six-one lean and muscles with the biggest pecker in town. That makes no sense. I would be a bad ass motherfucker at 6'1 165.

I'll admit that I'm another reader who had the thought to stop reading this tale the moment I reached the "10-inch cock" reference. I thought, "Oh, shit! Another 10-inch cock story! Either some folks just never learn, or else they read the stories but not the feedback - or they'd see how much flack the "10-inch stories" tend to get, from the readers. But, I pressed on, hoping the story would improve.

It didn't, sadly. I continued to read on, only to discover that this "Adam" is truly a freak of nature. Not only does he have a 10-inch cock, he also has TWO large right hands. (It's on "page 1" - check it out: "...I rested both my large right hands on her hips." )

And, boring? 14 or 15 times, we were 'treated' (more like "subjected"!) to hearing Mom say, "I'm gonna orgasm all over your [adjective] [adjective] penis!" Finally, as the story nears its ending, she does figure out how to tell her son, "I'm fucking coming!", and - just once - she manages to refer to her son's appendage as a cock.

Overall, I found the story to be rather dull, boring, and quite formulaic - with nothing in the way of content to really make it original or distinguish it from all of the other pieces of drivel about teens with 10-inch cocks that have been submitted to (or, is it, "inflicted upon"?) Literotica and its readers. I gave it a solid "1" (negative numbers not being available for use in rating it) and certainly won't be reading any further chapters in this story. I'm even thinking of suing the author to get back the time it took me to read THIS chapter!

The inconsistency put me off. (Go meet a woman, or at least check out some actual bra sizes.)

I've seen enough porn to know that it's possible to have a double-digit cock. For some reason there is a small but vocal contingency of readers here that lose their fucking minds if the protagonist's cock is larger than 6 inches.

Those nimrods want average looking people boning. Who the hell wants to read about a middle aged mom with a paunch and floppy fried egg tits fucking her equally fugly and average-dicked son? Nobody in their right mind would want to visualize that shit.

What you need to realize is that you are writing a story for yourself. A story about what you think is hot and sexy. If other people like it...awesome. If they're total douches that tear it apart...then fuck'em. None of those posers ever write stories anyway.

and love it when a dick size war breaks out among readers. I mean come on man, if you got 5 incher doesn't mean every one else around you is a loser in that department. I know one of my friend got more than 10 inch in his sack but it doesn't mean every woman he comes in contact with wanna have it up their cunts. But hey if you don't like reading big dick stories, just leave it. No need to make a big issue out of it. Just my thoughts. Sorry folks continue your banter.

Got me off like gangbusters only 1/2 into the story! Got to rest; but, can't wait to finish it!

what a great read enjoyed it

I'm ok with the bbig dick and repetition. We are talking porn here. What was up with the gratuitous black guy reference? Still give it 4 stars for the eroticism and general voice.

I loved the story and buildup, but the sex was overdone and repetitive. You clearly have skill, just needs a bit of refinement.

Your build up to the sex was pretty good and the sex was really good. For a start you have written a very sexy story that really should not end here. You have set the stage for the mom to be submissive to her son, so carry this on with the son slowly, but positively dominating his mom (not in a mean way) to perform sex acts that she would never have thought of before having sex with her son. This could really expand into many chapters or end here. Although, like others have indicated, this story deserves more chapters. You need to quickly deal with the father and the brother to make this a real love story between mom and son. Don't bring the brother into the incest as that, in my opinion, ruins the story line. Keep the affair going and the sex steamy hot. Even some exhibition with the son forcing mom to expose herself or have sex in the car, etc.

I'm making these comments because you are a beginner and could use some help. If you don't want help just say fuck you dreamer and delete this.

Are you trying to write erotic fiction, or erotic fantasy? There is a difference, and both have a place in life.

If you are trying to write fantasy, you can do just about anything you want; you can have your man fuck anything from a skunk to a horse while leaping tall buildings and fighting men from Mars. If you choose this path, you still have the burden of getting your reader to suspend belief long enough to get into and through your story. In other words, you will have to be one hell of a writer.

If, however, you want to write erotic fiction, the nearer you can portray your characters as real people, the better your story will be. Try making your women look a little like someone you know. Do you really know a woman with zucchini shaped breast? Maybe there is a zucchini other than the long cucumber like squash that I don't know about, if so, stick with your guns. The writers resources on this site have many articles about writing which would be a great help to you. If you go there, be sure to check out the ones on anatomy, and the functions of the human body. If you find any evidence that a human male can cum in the amounts you imply, more power to you. Anyway, you get the idea--make things believable. I once saw a porno film where the actor had what looked to be about a 24 inch cock and a pussy. I saw it, but I don't believe it. We want our readers to believe what we write really happened, when and where we said it did.

Finally, in erotica, less is usually more. You would have had a much better story had you limited it to two pages, (about 5000 words). Too many readers will start scanning rather than reading the long stories, unless they are really good. You and I are not that good yet. KEEP IT TIGHT--PROOFREAD ALOUD--PRINT IT THEN PROOF IT FROM THE PRINTED PAGE. It will make a difference. Check out my work on Taboo and Loving Wives. Compare the earlier ones to the latter stories to see if following this advice, (which was given to me) helped. GOOD LUCK --KEEP WRITING You do have talent. thecarolinadreamer

You really need to make use of an Editor here or elsewhere. For example, you can not "leer" words into someones ear. The word LEER means... : to look at someone in an evil or unpleasantly sexual way. to leer is to look at someone, not speak into their ear!!! Then there was misused plurals, past and current tense of words, and the wrong words all together. Honestly, it reads as if a 3rd grader wrote it, and one that was in the bottom 10 percent of his classmates. Having said that, please know I mean no ill will, I think your story could be an amazing story, if you take others advice on your writing, as well as take advantage of an Editor. I don't understand why so many writers here don't submit them to an Editor, is it your Ego? Trust me when I say you will be judged far less for the use of an Editor, vs submitting work like this.

Keep writing, and listen to others advice, making sure to separate the haters from the "helpers". I look forward to your stories, as they improve. Rigatony <:-)

Give us a break. I'm sure that no one says that. If a fuck was as good as you like us to read, i for one would be screaming "OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA CUM ALL OVER YOUR SWEET COCK!" instead of "I'm going to orgasm on your penis."

The setup was good. Then the sex was just the same expressions and dialog over and over. This story should have been much shorter. The dialog was weird. Who talks this way? And how do you LEER words? Leering is done with the eyes. Edit this story!

The idea of this story is very interesting but your use of words are way of with what you are typing, please get an EDITOR !!!!! and PROOF READER !!!! to correct your many many errors. The score I gave you was only for the idea of plot of the story but if there was a score to give for spelling or using the right words for whatever you are trying to say then you would be getting a big minus tally.

I think the following quote makes the case.

"while I rested both my large right hands on her hips."??

Ask Google what the average length of penises is and you'll get the answer of 5.1 inches while hard, with a diameter of about 1 inch. All you guys with dicks 5 1/2 " long should be real proud. You're bigger than most people. 9 and 10 inch dicks ruins the stories and turns off most people. I think most of us are tired of reading about them. I know I am.

Olin 21.aastane ja viibisin liiklusavarii tõttu vanglas 1,5.aastat.Ema külastas mind aasta pärast kolm päeva.Siis ma nikkusin oma ema terve öö,algul oli vastu aga lõpuks tuli mulle alla.See oli meie imeline öö.

The story became quickly boring.

Woman can still get knocked up in her fifties too

Definitely need an editor. One paragraph stated he lied and told her he was a virgin till her and only had BJ from Erin and Chris. Then the next oarsgraph mom said those same two dluts were walking funny the next day like she probably would. I can understand a page later, but not even three sentences following? Snd a woman getting fucked by a 10 inch duck cums a lot, not ORGASM. Details of your fucking, for hours it seems with the description of same, is repetitive verbatim. Get an editor