All Comments on 'My One and Only Same Sex Experience'

Very nice first effort, cbgurl. The tentative exploration was very erotic.

Cut down the length of the paragraphs, which become hard to follow. If you intersperse dialogue, even if just "Yes, right there", you build anticipation and the readers pulse (you know where that's taken). But a very good first story and I will look for more from you.

I have trouble believing that this written by a female person.

nice and erotic, captures that first time feeling. Look forward to more

Your writing is awkward. You should condense sentences and leave out superfluous information. Also, include more description. Tell the reader, with some detail, about what each character looks like, including physical descriptions and clothing. Do the same for the setting. Give your audience a reason to continue reading. Bear in my mind that the site is filled with lesbian stories. Why should we read yours?

I was left wondering if the last commenter actually READ the story ... you certainly did just what he/she asked when you DID describe yourself and Stephanie. I must have a few extra brain cells or something, because *I* certainly had no trouble picturing what you and Stephanie looked like and were wearing. Oh - and don't worry about trying to please someone who wants you to condense sentences while (at the same time?) adding more description. I was left wondering if they were jealous and simply trying to keep you from writing better than THEY could.

Sometimes, stories are not absolutely perfect when they are true, and close to your heart - you're reliving them instead of telling them. Personally, you turned me on, big time, dear. ;-) Let's have some more!

Ignore the commentary from the English major who is trying to be a professional writer. Yes the story could have been more grammaticaly correct but your new to this and I say nothing saying your a English professor at Oxford. I understood you were reliving an experience and probably became excited in reliving it. As for the guy stating your not a woman. I have never heard a guy call a vulva a "starfish". Please tell more stories. Also if you want a little advice on writing and such, check out the HOW TO section here. Hope to read more soon.

But you sure did me THANKS I loved it

Your story was so erotic and real. It didn't seem like a story at all, but rather that you were describing the experience just to me in an e-mail or letter. I hope you have a whole lot more real life adventures that you can share with us.

Readers who can't write ("your" when they mean "you're") really loved this one.