All Comments on 'My Very Own Adonis Ch. 01'

There are so many of these one page garbage postings that I suspect they are coming from the same pathetic loser using different names. Not hard to do.

There really aren't enough of these one page gems.

Great another 1* baboon

Keep posting.Nice to see a.TLW story

You appear to be new, and just practicing. I suspect some significant effort was put into erotically describing the sex scene. I suggest you practice that art in the Erotic Couplings section, where there is no expectation of husband/wife tension. This was just a husband and wife enjoying each other sexually, which is great, but not dramatic. And in this case it was not that erotic or exciting because I kept waiting for some marital tension to be revealed, like her calling out another man's name, or her seeing a hickey on her husband that she did not put there. Just because they are married does not mean it has to be in Loving Wives. And just because it is in LW does not mean they have to be cheating. But there does need to be some uncertainty or doubt about their marriage if your story is to have LW tension and excitement. At least that's my input.

Keep writing, and thanks for the effort.

I can see how you might have been confused about placement of this story. I has love in it. It has a wife who loves her husband in it. It doesn't have a sissy-boy husband in it and the wife isn't betraying her husband.

I had to learn this the hard way. Your story is what I thought and desired to be on a hub named loving wives. That is not the case. THERE IS NO LOVE IN LOVING WIVES. Perhaps romance and exotic coupling would be a better match.

Loving Wives is overrun with sick fucks who like humiliation and homoerotic story telling. They couldn't find any readership in Fetish where it belongs so they have tried LW to get the attention that they so desperately need.

I could see this happening in a couples bedroom - LIFE

I agree with @ seekeraz...LW needs a lot more stories about real love. She loves him and for her he is an Adonis....He loves her and for him she is an Aphrodite!!! That's how love works...4*

For starters this is only Chapter 1 and there is more to come as well as the story will be progressing and will have many different features and events that would fit under the category Loving Wives, I apologize for those who believe it does not but you will just have to read the chapters to come to find out. Thank you for the feedback though it is much appreciated.

the direction of the wife viewing hubby as an adonis... In most cheating/loving wives stories the wife is described as a knockout who hubby doesnt know how he wooed.

As a comedian said a few years ago, "Could happen!", and often does. The author is new to me, so there's no way to predict the outcome, not knowing his style or leanings in writing. Cheers

If you're going to write a multi-chapter story, you really need to include a "hook" at the end of each chapter to entice the readers to continue reading. This story had no such hook.

As others pointed out, there was no tension or drama, either, which would have been enough to allow readers to submerge ourselves in this story. Neither was their enough character development to allow us to connect with the characters. All we know about this husband and wife are that they have two kids, and that the husband is in good shape and the wife isn't.

From a stylistic aspect, your writing is good, but your paragraphs are far too long, and that makes reading more difficult.

So far, this is a rather boring story, but I'll withhold my judgment until I see where you're taking these two.

And yet you continue to read this section apparently looking for something that isn't here.

Hmmm forgive me if I don't believe you. You're a closet LW fan wishing your marriage could be as exciting. Face it you get off on these stories otherwise you'd be in romantic or erotic sections instead.

@Author: Not a bad start to the story but I wish you had written a little more than a sex scene for the first chapter. It makes it very hard to rate in the beginning. 3*

A ggod to start to the first chapter and I do agree there does need to be a hook / suspense / cliff hanger chapter ending to entice the reader to wait for the next installment.

Also for a really good change that the husband is hot and the wife is average.

In the real world this is common as hot wife's with average men. Average men with hot wives tend to have either married the wife young or she is attracted to the financial security he has to offer.

A average wife married to a hot husband is normally were she has a great personality, intelligent, and successful woman.

Perhaps this wife can be a cuckquean !

There are also stories of reconciliation and consequences which are valuable.

Most of the stories i don't read all the way through... not my cup of tea. The cuck and humiliation stories I only read far enough to get a sense of what's going on and then bail. If the tags show it or there are disclaimers of cuckoldry humilitation along with swinging, I don't read them at all. I also skim the sexual stuff (how many times can you describe the sex act and still be fresh?) The relationships are interesting to me and fortunately the characterizations in the cuck humiliation and the swinger stories are so shallow that they hold no interest at all.

Most of my comments of late have addressed the dishonesty of fetishists who can't get an audience in their own hub so have put their stuff here in LW and other hubs to garner eyeballs or to troll, using the classic definition of internet troll. I find swinging sad and will comment on aspects that may be hurtful to relationships and will confront the lies that have been propagated since the 60's that claim that swinging actually improves relationships.. bunk. The is one study, which was not peer reviewed, but which gets cited all of the time by the proponents of swinging and open relationships and it was largely self selecting. So I confront those misrepresentations maybe because I was duped years ago and both of us suffered dire consequences. You mileage may vary.

You can believe what you want. I have no reason to lie. I will say that reading some of the stories and comments have been very therapeutic for me as I battle the demons that I invited into my life.

I will continue to scan LW for jewels like this one, ignore the cuck humiliation stories wherever i can and give the swinger/open relationship stories a pass.

thank you for your comment.

It is kind of nice to see a love story on here,a seemingly conventional one but still cute. A couple of points:

-if you plan on multiple chapters,note it in the title and or give a note saying so.This right now looks like a flash story,which because it doesn't really do much is kind of irritating

-in a similar vein,if writing a story unless it is meant to be flash,don't drop 1 page chapters,it is very hard to read BC you know you are in for the slow grind. Make the chapters broader,and as others said,put a hook at the end..like maybe at the end of this (hypothetically) if you were thinking of a mff threesome for example,you could have the wife dream of it,the next day tell hubby about it,and have him look shocked,and say 'holy shit,you too?" And leave it like that..(again,hypothetical example,not the plot)

We need more, so continue to write. The LW category is for extra marital fun, ie loving other men's wives. Husband/wife stories go better in Romance or Erotic Couplings.

Seekeraz - hit the nail on the head; fetish authors can't find merit in their own categories so they dump their pathetic attempts at writing in all other categories.

BTBs (on the other hand) usually have their merit in this category as they usually have an ending that involves a true trustworthy, loving wife.

It's absolutely fantastic to come across an actual loving wife story in a category called "Loving Wives".

Too short, not enough here to be all that interesting... and it is in the wrong category.

This belongs in 'Romance'. It is a nice sweet story about a loving couple. Okay, that's nice.

Here is the definition of the Loving Wives category - "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more".

Where, exactly, is the "extra-marital fun" in this story?

Reading a romance story, complaining there isn't any real fucking going on. My, my if you can't fuck the neighbors wife or the neighbors yours it just isn't a good story, is it? Seekerez is right, to many of the fetish turds have claimed loving wives as theirs. Can't get enough attention at that category so they invaded loving wives instead.

There are a handful of good erotic authors worth reading in loving wives. Unfortunately they're not welcome by the cucks, who prefer fetish or swinging tales. Sad that this site can't recognize the problem that this category has. Too bad the good authors don't post elsewhere so I wouldn't have to come back to this category where nine out of ten stories are for fetish lovers.

Good start author, even good novels start out slow and get better with each chapter.I'm not concerned yet. So far so good. Thanks for your effort. (ML)

good for the Anon below that points out how man readers are disappointed by stories that are not knock down drag out BTB stories with lots of raunchy sex and what ever. This is an exotic story site but there are some surprising good authors out there posting here. Looking for a great story and writer try Todd172 and his shack series in the LW category. NO pages long sex scenes but a good action story along with loving and implied sex. Try Burntredstone and his story Teachers crossroad in the LW section, more of a romance story Then try Finding Uncle Willie in the Romance section, or The Rehab or The Promise, The Cotillion, The Link and others by Dreamcloud, all quality work with little sex. I've read each more than once. There are many more.

Liked the story, well done.

A refreshing story of love and lust in a monogamous marriage. Kudos!