by DG Hear
they go both ways for the EE and the ER. TK U MLJ LV NV
Time to humiliate the studs-threaten Ben to put up the video in you tube and negotiate for a sodomy on Ben's ass .
This is your completely standard-sub standard BTB & her egregarious BFs story. There isn't a convention, this effort hasn't pandered to. Hook up the narrator to cheating wife's spying ( but otherwise sweet) sis' & call it a day.
This is truly rote and the revenges are not even interesting. He just is not hero material to me! Now correcting his earlier mistake with Kathy would be much more interesting. What's with the varying category game?
I actually thought this chapter would go over well. One more chapter left and it will hopefully post tomorrow.. FD45 was right about the Changing of categories. I did lose more than half the readership. Maybe it's just the story isn't liked. I always say not every story is for everyone.
The categories are chosen bcause that's where the story belongs. I try to abide by the rules. Again, thank you all for taking the time to read and comment on my story. It's all I can ask for.
With respect
DG Hear
I'm refraining from commenting until I've read everything.
That said, I'm surprised Jim actually did Ben's mom, despite all the "your mom" jokes I could make.
THIS story for over for me dghear, this is not revenge this is sadistic act from a author whos brain is wired wrong.. where is this revenge, and what pleasure in acting out months after you got rid of a slut wife. without much penality. fucking one of the mothers of the gang bank is far over the top as to make me want to puck on you. this guy is as sick as the rest of the characters in this story..if this is payback heaven help us..
I do have to agree with several others that making the mother of Ben part of the revenge is a bit much. She had nothing to do with what he did, so humiliating her to get at Ben is a bit low in my opinion. That said I haven't read the next chapter yet, so don't know what is going to go down in that area, but it seems clear what he has in mind. Then again maybe the author is trying to tell us that she won't care, but if so that was not well developed enough.
The rest of the revenge is pretty standard stuff, but I do hope that his ex wife's parents get a reality check and a true picture of what their daughter is really like.
don't read their flame because in other revenge story the husband torch the wife destroy her family and sometimes arrange for her to be contaminated by an mst
A good cruel revenge story. I do not understand, why DGH published whole story in the LW hub .
1. Ben's mother is a single woman, who wanted sex. She did not feel any humiliation.
If the main character sends the disc only to her son, this could remain her son's secret!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HER SON SHOULD HIDE THIS DISC FROM HIS MOTHER, SO IT WILL NOT BE HUMILIATION FOR HER. Secret, secret, secret, secret and a HUMULIATION ONLY FOR HER SON..........................
2. To tell the affair to the wife with smart evidence show was good idea, I apreciate this trick well.
3. Tony was succesful, because the ball bat avoided his balls..................................
I am sorry again: I do not understand, why DGH did not published whole story in the LW hub .
1. If the main character published the sex scen on NET I should agree with the earler comments. That would be humuliation for an inocent. However if Ben (her son) gave the disc ONLY it would not be humuliation for his Mother. We will seen soon in the 4th chapter soon.
2.Dear Author I do not think good idea to be relative with Mary Ann and her asshole as brothe in LAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sorry: However if Ben (her son) got the disc ONLY it would not be humuliation for his Mother. We will seen soon in the 4th chapter soon.
I do not drink alcoholic drinks I am drinking milk this time (did I make mistakes for much lactose, calcium and protein?) I prefer milk to beer...........
Jim screwed Ben's mother. We all know that it really got to Ben, but remember what Jim said. "There are two copies of this disk. I have one and you have the other. Stop bad mouthing me and my copy will not see the light of day." Kind of throws it in Bens lap. Jim could have put it on the internet or told everyone.
Thank you all for staying with me on this one. One chapter to go. It's rather different and answers a lot of questions.
DG
.... I thought it was a day LATE and a dollar short, author......not a hint of recrims on his part makes for even duller story.....how bout a grande finale with some sort of revenge that's inventive and different.
I think you're getting ahead of yourself Jim hasn't said anything about having two disks yet. Your comment should probably be in reference to Chapter 4?
We have people go through Stangstar stories on average of 8 pages.
Please understand my critiques so far for this story. I have not said a word against the story. I am very much critiquing how it was disseminated, catagorized and split up.
This was a section, one catagory story. I will grant you that you are getting tags better then some authors.
**
Critique of the story:
I did not like the protagonist when he was using this rather nice mature woman to tear a piece off and to use to hurt her boy. Every asshole is SOMEONE'S mother, but he didn't come off very well in this installment because I like the mother.
I am going to learn to edit my comment someday!
Every asshole is someone's SON. Or every asshole has a mother.
And it's fair to say that every mother has an asshole, though we are treading into shallow philosophical waters.
keep it up - i would have liked the biker to been permanently injured like two crushed knees - but your story your rules. i was rolling when i read it. cant want for number 4.
Come on, DG! How about longer chapters or at least wait until you have more written before you submit your stories? Damn good story! It is like being a kid waiting for Christmas to arrive waiting for more of this story. Write quickly, please!
Even if he is using her to get Ben to fight with him, it still isn't right to hurt an innocent woman.
I think it would have been better to just kick Ben's ass, and then get very even with Rob. Beat him in front of witnesses, that would swear that Rob started the fight, and beat him in a way he couldn't have sex with anyone for a really long time...
Boing and no need for revenge.
Why is he such a jerk. No wonder she screwed around v
are written in much better style than Chapter 1 was. The story is a bit far-fetched, but this is fiction, isn't it? I don't think I would ever take revenge against someone my wife fucked. She was the one who hurt me; the guy didn't hurt me. But this story is a bit different because the three guys rubbed his nose in it.
now we get believers and change them around, TK U MLJ LV NV
How you get revenge on an asshole and his prick brother who screwed your wife and ended your marriage? Whew, that was a long sentence,
YOU FUCK THEIR MOTHER. HA
One more chapter
he stoops to their level? And humiliates an uninvolved woman along the way?
Besides raising an asshole for a son, what did Helen ever do to merit being used as revenge? How is he any better than those three assholes now?
He didn't really humiliate her yet, just had some hot sex. He could just show it to the son, but still she doesn't deserve him to show it publicly.
What did this lady ever do to him? Sounds to me like she's had a hard life and is doing what she can to make ends meet. Now he involves her in this crazy plan to pay her son back? If Jim hadn't been such a pussy back at the hotel, hell, if he'd stood up and been a man at the wedding party BEFORE the hotel, he wouldn't be in this mess.
On top of everything else, now this innocent lady has to deal with his lame plan for "revenge". Total loser, this Jim.
At the hotel two guys forced him and held a knife on him, the guys mother was willing and liked being fucked. Ben or whoever said he wasn't married or had a girl made the suggestion. Besides according to him the Mother was very good at sex so fucking her wasn't to hurt her but, to get back at her son. Hell if Kathy doesn't put out his fire soon he'll probably be going back for more! Remember the ladies get better with age because they really know what they are doing!😸
lots of curves and road blocks. TK U MLJ LV NV
Ben got off lightly and I didn't like the use of his mother, even if she never knows she was used for revenge.
Sorry from start to finish this whole story is one bigly cliche.
Everything is just too perfectly lined up to make this anything more than a drawn out eye roll.
I felt that as part one and tried to force my way through this but it became a grind. But you do get the easily amused pseudo-macho kids riled up.
Jim did not get his revenge through the mother. He just got fucked. He is going to destroy HER instead of her son and that is NOT fun for the story. The son is the one that needed to be on the receiving end of a physical revenge.
4*
BJ