All Comments on 'New Business, Old Business Ch. 03'

until you had the husband take the blame for his wife's stupidity.

95% great story, but absolutely spoiled by the unbelievable ending.

Sorry I bothered to waste the time reading it.

in chapter 1 you have him discover that his wife is unfaithful, giving head to her ex boyfriend who has reappeared after many years. after a short seperation they reconcile, but he doesn't trust her.....

in chapter 2 he continues watching her with his security corp trainees. but in the end she shows her love for him by taking 2 bullets from the ex-boyfriend.....but her husband did own security, she probably did know that .22s have a low effectivness rate when body shot. hmmm. a big reasurance of love, right? but was it total blind love, or a calculating the risks love?

now in chapter 3 we STILL have him watching her. she still flirts with other guys. so he tries as open marraige - WHY? this change is not clearly explained. anyway, she stops everyone at the lips of her vagina. now did she do it because she realized hubby couldn't deal with it, or because she couldn't? was it all a reassurace plot on her part?

will the hubby ever get totally trusting again? taking bullets didn't do it, would rejecting swinging?

i could see a 4th chapter from the wifes POV, (perhaps post mortem hubby), but i don't know which way it would go.

did she have many affairs before it all collapsed in chpt 1 and then play exciting games with the security for years? or did she make one mistake in chapter 1 and have to live with the distrust for years and years because she loved hubby?

What was a good story took a bad swing at the end. He had a good grip on what she was capable of doing, told her he wouldn't put up with it, then HE suggested a swap to try to hold on to their marriage? Then, at the end she says she was only doing it for him and was sorry she couldn't go through with it but was only doing it for him and he could go ahead with Loretta. He wasn't the one who couldn't be faithful! By your own character build-up this could never happen as it did.

Good story but the twist about a open marrage almost ruint it.

You had me commmited to the story untill you hit the open marriage bit, and then you lost me as a reader. Sorry, but if gets to that point just getting divorced is better.

She has not changed at all she needs more then she has with him. Time has brought her back to the needs or excitement of another man, just like Chapter one. She has definitely changed back to wants and gets excited around other men. This is not over as she just couldn’t go through with it with her husband there, and would probably have had little problem if he wasn’t there. All the needs she has is building and building as each encounter gets more

His weakness of giving her anything to keep her is sad and will solve nothing. He is living in hell and she also doesn’t seem to be able to resist the feeling of need, Hell will continue until they find a way to confront what her problem is. She will never have his trust and she will always know he doesn’t trust her.

Her character is written as if she cannot control her needs and if that is the case divorce is the only thing to bring them both eventual peace as a separation keeps the hope of an ultimate reconciliation and leads to excuses. With divorce at least they could move on and no more what or if’s or eventually. The facts would be staring them straight in the face and this way it’s possible at least one of them could find a life worth living.

Therapy is not for changing personalities but understanding oneself and maybe let that person have the tools to live a self-respecting life.

The flip flop of the characters in this story doesn’t meld well and seems a little too off beat to be acceptable. They almost seem schizophrenic.

The writing is wonderful

I've read a number of your stories and it seems as if two different people are contributing. The set up man (or woman) writes the basic plot, story line, and character development and the second writes the ending. I say this because frequently the end game is not based on the previous moves. This story is a case in point. Based on chapters 1 and 2 in no way would your protagonist have suggested setting up his wife with another man regardless of the conditions. If you are doing this consciously as some kind of plot twist, it isn't working for me.

you both suck. I bet if a woman kicked you in the balls, you would apoligize for having your balls in the way of her foot.

The setup of Bill totally eliminates the possibility that he would allow an open marriage, much less propose the stupid thing in the first place.

She may truly love him, I don't know for sure though, but she obviously has a problem that she needs to work out. Counciling happened regarding the hypnosis thing and the only solution to her "problem" appears to be further counciling. If she doesn't get the problem fixed, their marriage would be over, HE WOULD NEVER SHARE HER !!

Thanks for your efforts, but in this case I can't buy the final premise you have asked us to accept.

Charleybear

This latest installment turns him into a complete wimp and a fool and she's the same trashy whore she has been all along. I hate the way you fucked this one up. After all this he will never be able to trust her, he'd get more peace by putting a bullet in her cheating heart. This one gets a 100 on the shit-o-meter!

You know, Grey, you are slowly developing some technical skills. Your grammar is better, and on a quick read, I didn't see any glaring spelling problems. But a *story* has certain elements in it that are lacking here. Grey, you wandered off any possible story line so often, no one REALLY knows if your ending was appropriate not. Rambling around is okay if you're having a beer with your buddies and have nothing in particular to talk about, but if you're writing a story, stick to a central theme and keep working the story, dialogue, and action back to it. Here, you've said too much about some things and way too little about others. It's resulted in a mess that doesn't satisfy the reader at all. Keep working, Grey. You have a lot of potential.

The writing was good but the creativity was garbage.

How far does a couple go before you back down. Charles had his dick lined up and she stops him after an inch was inserted...how ridiculous can you get.

And the mistrust and panty wetness and the surveillance crap...just completely out to lunch.

Naah...your writing skills were wasted on this one...

This woman is totally untrustworthy. She's playing everyone. She knows her husband has been monitoring her and is creating fictional conversations to try and demonstrate trust. Also she realized that her hubby was also watching her lover. So rather than have him figure out what really was going on she arraigned for her lover to be killed while she saved her hubby. Time for hubby to wake up, I'd get DNA tests of the kids as well... She doesn't love anyone but herself, she wants to cheat, but have hubby to herself.

You fucked this one up.

different then the route you were taking, not in a bad way but not overly...YOU. However, as a writer you do have that right to take a leap and try new stuff, expand story lines and see where this is going. I do hope you don't wait to long to post more, im intrigued. Thanks for letting us read you and keep up the great work respectfully fan in Texas naynay

dude you have to be fucking kidding me...

the wife is still picking up men at coffee shop KNOWING she is being watched... so he decides to have an open marriage?

this is the same woman who took two bullets for her husband???!!

sure ..make sense

ROTFLOL!!! oh my god this has to be the most mindless pathetic stupidly asinine plot ever... a COP with a 7th degree black belt agreeing to Open marriage?

Ho HO HO ROTLFMAO!!! On my god this ending is sooooo fucking bad I got to peee!!!! ROTFLOL!!!

another fucked up wimp with a cunt wife

The first two chapters were excellent, and then you cancelled them both, by making the wife the slut that we had expected, and turning the most macho man in the country into a measly wimp. You really ruined a very good story. Those three young girls would not be very proud of their devoted parents.

The 25% is for your commendable spelling.

what kind of fuckin' weed are you smokin'. great went to sophomoric went to shit.

1. found out if sandy shagged frank. 2.found out if she was truthful about hypnosis. 3. you coudda' had frank shoot sandy through the heart and then the drs could have used franks heart for her transplant proceedure. that would have blown bills mind.

wife a whore and hubby a dumby.how could he run a business and be so stupid.why stay married if you can't trust your wife.the story got dumber and dumber.

What a bullshit...he is a killer and let the whore to do what her sick mind want to....so many lies that i almost vomit on my computer...nothing from real life...only from this stupid idiot wimp writer sick mind

Billy should have kicked Charles right in the face for what he and lori did with her and Sandi broke the rules that they had set up between them both .

Atlanta,Ga

do I read trash like this?

Well reading that used up 30 minutes of my life that I can never get back.

and he really loves to jerk our chains, he goes from one extreme to another in this story, u think its bout over, then he adds some more shit. in some of his other stories, he leaeves out things so u think there is a chapter coming and there is not. when i finish one of his stories, im pissed off and dont feel good, like i do when i read a good story. so this will be the last story of his i read.

ts, but I agree with all of them. J&H wrote this story. Too bad it was allowed to waste space.

"I touched Charles' cock." The author does not seem to know what infidelity is. If my wife told me this she would be out the door for she knew it. The husband in this story goes from a concerned spouse to a wimp. Hated this story.

Sort of interesting; but way too over the top in many ways. I still say she played him, and fucked on the side. She is having her cake and eating it too. Her game is make him think he is the only one, and fuck others when she can sneak it in.

plot with zero believability.Pistolpackinpete.P.S. A bullet in the stomach is an incredibly dangerous occurrence(bile infection etc.)Think Lee Harvey Oswald.

Sandy is a total slut. She cheats on him for twenty years (hynotism my ass). Even thought the husband is a martial arts expert, he was a sorry ass whimp. This story left with a bad feeling in my gut.

sandy did these things to cause lingering doubt and erode trust. love her, fine but from afar. separate lives. she can act without the fear of breaking any agreements or other concerns. loretta or any others through the business can fill the void and there is parenting time.

Terrible, just terrible. Unbelievably dumb plot and so many unresolved issues. Total waste of time.

Ditto Bigguy323!!!

Must be a name for folks like me...do I really give a shit though. 'Tis the same old adultery thing that that Sandy would have lost her ass for in the early going of the story. Good job up to the last chapter.

The story seemed like a French movie; didn't know where to end it.

With all the lack of trust, people would back away from temptation, rather than accept it and try to work around the lack of trust. The story suffered from lack of editing; poor pronoun use, capitalization problems, typos. Ideas were entertaining but the tendency to degenerate into fantasy, unrelated to the main story is a problem for Gray Eagle. Also, there were, again, unexplained references to mental problems that could have been used to expand the story without going into the "open marriage" theme that was totally inconsistent with the main theme of building trust. There never was an explanation of the three meetings with the handsome guy at the coffee shop.

Why not finish the job as far as I'm concerned she had already fucked

Charles 1 inch may as well took it all.

Eagle you write some shitty stories, and this one was no exception!

He should have used the one punch on her sorry ass. The three girls they are raising would have been better off. Instead they keep to tract of mommy and daddies fuck buddy's. A good store that needs a good moral ending.

Thanks for vent

You really worked hard on this story convincing us that he could never be a willing Cuckold. But like most of your stories I have read in the past few days, you expose the husband as either being a wannabe cuck, or he is in fact a well concealed cuckold. Mostly interacial. That is confusing for a lot of the readers who accept the story as written, but I see the pattern. These husbands could just as easily be very reluctant, but still "Willing Cuckold" stories... Nothing wrong with that, but you work so hard to lead us in one directon before switching back to the theme you are really aiming at.

One minute they are faithful and the next they try swinging,,,,, very unstable.

I mean like sick to my very guts.

These two are pathetic excuses of a married couple /parents! First off she carried on a long term emotional affair with her ex for years & lied to her wimpy ass husband about it. The wimp of a husband suggests swinging, what I found a bit disturbing was how relaxed she was sucking, kissing & getting naked in front of another man that's not her husband. I don't even understand why these two immature morons are married, he doesn't trust her, he obviously doesn't believe that she can keep her legs close, the wife pussy seems to get wet at every new guy that catches her eye... This is not a marriage nor is it love. He runs away like a little bitch & her pussy gets wet like a bitch in heat. These two are a mess! I don't understand how he goes to loving her to death to suggesting she fucks some other guy? Why?! That crap with her ex was ridiculous, who the fuck gets hypnotized unless your just a weak minded individual who's easily manipulated. These two love playing games but they're suppose to be adults & parents. This story sucked! FYI: Charles actually did get to stick his dick in, she was just way to relaxed. I don't believe/condone "swinging" I think if you really love a person you shouldn't want them to fuck others, their body belongs to you & yours to them. Swinging is just sick... But that's just my opinion.... I half way didn't get this story, I read over & I still hated it. It was stupid... Last thing this world needs is tweedle dumb & tweedle dumber procreating...the wife's a undercover slut & the husband is a wimp. How is inviting another couple will help expand your sexual horizon or make you love your spouse more? If you need to fuck others than you really shouldn't be married.

I like your writing very much. That said, this story is confusing and extremely disorienting. You built your characters well but could not seem to decide which way you wanted to go. Finally, you left your readers in limbo by never finishin the story. Please continue to write. Please finish this story. Develop your plot from beginning to end before writing anything.

Your story was so convoluted and disorienting that I lost interest and did not finish it.

You wrote a really good story till chapter 3. Then I decided you were in the bottom of the shitter and on your way to the septic tank.

I enjoyed Chap 1.

I enjoyed Chap 2.

I ..... Chap 3 was a serious "WTF?". Felt like I was watching a great SCCA race and along comes "Bubba" in his 1999 Ford Taurus to take the checkered. Chapn3 needs a rewrite.

So what happened here you wife/sister/lover right this shit chapter?So dude you lost a writers bet and were forced to write this crap at gun point or pay off a gambling debt to a cuckold loving bitch? It does not track with the rest, not gonna comment on character because their were none just... shit i dont know what! If you wanted to show you dont write to please an audience yeah you did a great job, and maybe next time he can kick a puppy or gut a cripple.

Sorry that I read this story. Enough said! 2 stars!

Never finishes a story. Sorry, you loose points doing this.

And just an ewwww nasty third chapter.

The third chapter just didn't add up.......she already knows she can't take a crap without his people knowing about it. She then proceeds to meet a stranger three times to "talk" at a restaurant (doesn't make sense). And if I was Charles, I sure wouldn't fuck my boss's wife (again doesn't make sense). Was just a fucked-up chapter but I'm sure you already know that.

You go from the husband being totally against cheating in ch 1 to its ok to cheat in ch 3? I dont get this story at all!

The whole open marriage and swinging shit ruined it, guy nearly turned into a wimp

...I just threw up in the back of my mouth..........

Awful story. Just plain awful.

First 2 chapters were quite good, some of your best, but, boy how to blow a good story to hell. This 3rd chapter was just rubbish.

...story about a woman who just has to flirt and tease to reassure herself of her attractiveness. The real question is why she needs to, and you simply disregard it.

Good story until Ch.3 where the cuckold and wife sharing started, then it went to shit.

It's a combination of misery,obsession and worstly no closure.

Some enjoyment, but too many smart people using to small a portion of their brains.

But the last chapter made ir become 4 *... Very good

...and that only because the author signed his name at the top of the page.

Sheer nastiness. Opening up a marriage is just wrong if you want to stay together.

it usually ends up not in your best interest, TK U MLJ LV NV

Therefore, a "1."

I think I know what you were trying to do here. I don't think you were trying to turn this into a cuck story. I think you were trying to use the open marriage thing as a device to bring their marriage back to a solid footing. He was clearly insecure about his marriage and didn't know if he could trust her. I guess he decided that her cheating was inevitable and that maybe he could endure this as a means of keeping his wife. Clearly he didn't truly want it or like it. He was confused. I get it. Supposedly, in the end they have faced the horrible reality of it and have learned to never flirt with this behavior ever again.

However, you didn't actually leave them in a better place. Your plot device was not only unnecessary, but made the marriage worse. Chapter two ended with her throwing herself in front of hubby to protect him. She took two bullets for him. End of story! That marriage should never have another problem. Who would doubt that kind of love? Then this chapter has her secretly meeting another man and then agreeing to his open marriage idea in a matter of seconds. First chance she gets She grabs another guys cock, breaking one of their rules. She only stops sucking this guy off because she sees hubby crying. Is their marriage in a better place? How could he ever trust her again? This chapter completely wipes out chapter two (her act of love and her professions at the cocktail party), and now leads us to conclude that her original tryst was probably more than what she first described.

I will give it a four, because I believe you had a noble intention.

And likely a good way with these players - she was a mess and had lost faith in him - he could not quite get it back in her but was foolish enough to think that was the way -

Some people get stoopid -

This was actually a pretty good story. I particularly liked the ending, I hope your other cheating wife stories are as well written. This story will be stored into one of my favorite stories. I did like the ending, I was thinking that it would end like all the other cheating wife stories that I have read in the past. But, it was a nice ending. Good job.

Why would a person put themselves through so much pain for someone who is so uncaring and clearly does not love them? Sure, she took a bullet or two for him, but that was pure fiction. All her actions were manipulative and deceitful. For him to continue in a relationship with her for any other reasons than being close to his kids was stupid and sick. So, why not explain what a sick loser this guy was? Disgusting.

After that, it became totally dumb-assed. Why you had to fuck it up with making dickwads of all the characters is beyond my belief.

of character for Billy's character. Now I see why the last chapter rated lower. It probably would still be rated lower if they consummated their foursome.

At the end he shows his real self, a poor stupid wimp, she knows better, she is a manipulated, liing bich.

Now we all know the reason for the low score in this chapter. The story fell apart and took a shift into being an open marriage which was inconsistent with the rest of the story.

This story in the last chapter got turned on its head. This is par for the course for this author. He has a perpensity to take a different track at the end of his stories and just destroy the tale.

You really spin a good story. I can tell that you like to write. Keep up the good work!

Trust is the hymen of a marriage. Once it is broken, it cannot ever be regrown.

no way the guy in the earlier part is going to go for an open marriage.

Only the truly shitty writers establish characters and then inexclicably reverse them.

re:

Only the truly shitty writers establish characters and then inexclicably reverse them.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You just described most of this writers main characters.

NO FRIGGIN WAY!

Man up, dont be a pile of jello

When I started reading this series I wondered about the difference in the scores between the first two chapters and the last one. I liked the first two chapters, thought they were pretty good, with a little humorous stuff in them. But then it pretty much all went south in the last chapter. Now I understand the lower score for that one. Such a good start, such a poor finish. Oh well, thanks for trying. D

...a respected stalwart character and in a paragraph destroy that same character is beyond me.

For almost two chapters she is warned...NEVER AGAIN!

Then, knowing she is being checked on she starts flirting and dating a younger man. All the time spewing lies about her undying love.

The she feels his employee's cock and gropes his girlfriend after agreeing nothing would be done without the other present.

I get she is fantasy hot, she knows it, and likes the attention of as many men as possible.

Yeah he loves her. SHE DOES NOT LOVE HIM!

She wants to play around and eventually will. Even when she stopped with Chuck she couldn't help but get dig in afterward.

Bill is being manipulated by Sandy. A supposedly Alpha male is offering to be - and indeed ended up being - his wife's cuckold by his partner's son-his employee-and would not be able to perform his part of the swap.

Think of the workplace dynamic. Chuck has absolutely no respect for Bill or he would not have exposed himself, let alone stripped, licked, sucked, strocked and entered Sandy while Bill sat there fully clothed not touching Lori.

Imagine what he will say at the water cooler. How he will act at meetings and events. Whose side will Mike be on. That company is dead!

Sandy had to see Lori and Bill were doing nothing yet she continued. She only stopped fearing she was being set up.

DID MATT MOREAU GHOST WRITE THIS CHAPTER!

All time ALPHA MALE OF THE UNIVERSE turned blubbering wimp!

We lost that one very quickly. First two chapters were pretty good, but this one just lost me. Weak.

im glad the fuck that wrote this shit is dead.

This one went from a pretty good story to a freakin’ disaster. Seems like the author was toking a little ganja while he wrote the first two chapters, then switched to PCP for the last one. I can’t think of any other reason why that third chapter would be so fucking BAD. What a letdown. I wish I could give this last chapter a “negative” 5 stars.

Til the end. Made no sense. First 2 chapters 5, last one 3.

That’s what this chapter was. Unneeded and unwanted, at least by me. I wasn’t completely satisfied by the ending of the second chapter but I still thought the story, overall, was pretty good. I gave it four stars. That was before I read this last chapter. After this chapter that would have to change to one star. This chapter took a “pretty good” story to being a “pretty bad” story in two short pages. From good fantasy to ridiculous absurdity. One Star.

So they run a high end prostitution service.

I loved the writing and story line. Felt the passion, anger, and jealousy. I thought the Open marriage twist at the end was not necessary and was not well justified by the writing. I believe it weakened the main male character and showed the hidden flaws in his wife's character.....just when I was beginning to like her.

She cheated with another guy .. She cannot be trusted .. So kick her to the curb

You want something more,dump the bitch

I was

Inking this story until Billy got an attack of the stupids and tried to share his wife. And when Sandy got her attack of the stupids as well.

Bill was a doofus as was Sandy. What idiots!

Marked it down because of the silly plot at the end.

Story was going good till the sharing bit then it got stupid.

Awesome!!!

Billy has "zero" tolerance for infidelity. Even in absence of any concrete evidence ,

he was after Sandy, all throughout,WATCHING. Ensure Sandy refuse to even dancing with other.

Suddenly what make Billy fora 'about turn' , and agree to share Sandy's pussy

NOT CLEAR ???

It just got stupid in the end

I know there aren't any current stories here. But Grey Eagle - you're stories are 'blah'. Too goody goody.

She might be cheating, hmmm, I'll have her fuck other men, that'll cure her! Billy ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, is he? I get that he loved her so much he wanted her happy, but his willingness to sacrifice his own principles on the alter of her pussy's apparent needs made him less than sympathetic. Nevertheless, it kept me reading, better than a lot of the stuff on this site.

Just another cuck story. Try to cover it with Mr. Karate but that's all Bill is, a wimpy cuckold.

He opened Pandora’s Box, what did the foolish idiot expect. He acts so tough, but he appears to want to be cuckolded. He is setting the scene for her to cheat.

Given his attitude this story can only go one way, sideways.

Becoming a cuck tale, thus far 2/5

So dude runs an escort service for the wealthy, has “several hundred” escorts, and law enforcement doesn’t even look at him???He’d be the biggest pimp in the country!! And the whole thing with his wife??? Just a total crock.