by Kileka
I adore Silent Hill, and you've picked a very typical and appropriate beginning. I have to say that you should probably do two things. Check your verb tenses... some of it is past tense, some of it is present. Also, in the next chapter, make sure you flesh out your character a bit more... you've given some good background details, but it hasn't made me feel for the character quite yet. I think you have the talent to accomplish this... it didn't HAVE to be done in this chapter, but I'll be reading :)
To all those interested, I have entry 2 in the works currently. I love the interest in this story and I plan to continue this character's trek through the town. I also plan to give the character more identity. Just in case you were wondering.
Thanx
I hope you put in a new chapter soon because i really like it.
I've been looking for a Silent Hill story and you have a great thing going here. I'm interested to find out what happens next and I look forward to reading Entry 02.